kellerb
@kellerb.bsky.social
Reposted by kellerb
Tracy Morgan voice: "I see you Hayden Planetarium"
January 31, 2026 at 5:59 PM
Tracy Morgan voice: "I see you Hayden Planetarium"
Reposted by kellerb
Best explanation I've heard is the Kennedy/Lennon criterion.
If you were born while JFK was dead but John Lennon was alive, you're GenX.
If you were born while JFK was dead but John Lennon was alive, you're GenX.
The correct division of GenX is the Garofalo/Spears horizon. If you were born after Janeane Garofalo (GenX Prime) but before Britney Spears (Millennial Prime), you are GenX.
January 29, 2026 at 11:20 PM
Best explanation I've heard is the Kennedy/Lennon criterion.
If you were born while JFK was dead but John Lennon was alive, you're GenX.
If you were born while JFK was dead but John Lennon was alive, you're GenX.
Reposted by kellerb
If you are a Republican, I do not think you are a fascist.
I *observe* that you are a fascist.
I *observe* that you are a fascist.
January 17, 2026 at 2:27 PM
If you are a Republican, I do not think you are a fascist.
I *observe* that you are a fascist.
I *observe* that you are a fascist.
Johnny Five: "look how they massacred my boy"
January 13, 2026 at 10:48 PM
Johnny Five: "look how they massacred my boy"
Reposted by kellerb
Today in “Dudes Rock”:
A dude playing Dire Straits’s “Sultans of Swing” guitar solo on…a recorder.
A dude playing Dire Straits’s “Sultans of Swing” guitar solo on…a recorder.
December 12, 2025 at 12:50 AM
Today in “Dudes Rock”:
A dude playing Dire Straits’s “Sultans of Swing” guitar solo on…a recorder.
A dude playing Dire Straits’s “Sultans of Swing” guitar solo on…a recorder.
I really like how Catholics wash the dishes after their meal of God
January 4, 2026 at 12:02 AM
I really like how Catholics wash the dishes after their meal of God
Reposted by kellerb
ME: if pee comes out of a penis then a butt should be called a poonis
DR: okay fine stop sticking things up your poonis
DR: okay fine stop sticking things up your poonis
December 6, 2025 at 4:19 AM
ME: if pee comes out of a penis then a butt should be called a poonis
DR: okay fine stop sticking things up your poonis
DR: okay fine stop sticking things up your poonis
Reposted by kellerb
jeff: i’m a chef
geoff: i am also a cheof
geoff: i am also a cheof
May 10, 2025 at 10:56 AM
jeff: i’m a chef
geoff: i am also a cheof
geoff: i am also a cheof
My 10-year-old started using Zip-ties to hang Christmas ornaments outside. I did not *Tell* him to do this, he just started doing it instinctively
November 15, 2025 at 8:36 PM
My 10-year-old started using Zip-ties to hang Christmas ornaments outside. I did not *Tell* him to do this, he just started doing it instinctively
Reposted by kellerb
if you don't have a chimney santa enters your home via clausmosis
December 22, 2023 at 12:06 AM
if you don't have a chimney santa enters your home via clausmosis
Dr. Robert from the Beatles: Revolver is the only Dr. Robert. All others go by Dr. Bob. They decide this naturally.
November 7, 2025 at 2:23 PM
Dr. Robert from the Beatles: Revolver is the only Dr. Robert. All others go by Dr. Bob. They decide this naturally.
<small dish by the register>: Take a Flying Fuck, Leave a Flying Fuck
October 31, 2025 at 1:05 PM
<small dish by the register>: Take a Flying Fuck, Leave a Flying Fuck
"AND if you look into the sky at the correct time you can see the International Space Station as it orbits above us..."
October 27, 2025 at 11:38 AM
"AND if you look into the sky at the correct time you can see the International Space Station as it orbits above us..."
Tool: schism is actually Ray Parker, jr.: Ghostbusters
October 16, 2025 at 12:41 PM
Tool: schism is actually Ray Parker, jr.: Ghostbusters
I feel bad for that poor gallon of cum! For 50 years, being pumped out of some rock star's stomach at an ER just to immediately be guzzled down by the next rock star. Over and Over
September 5, 2025 at 8:00 PM
I feel bad for that poor gallon of cum! For 50 years, being pumped out of some rock star's stomach at an ER just to immediately be guzzled down by the next rock star. Over and Over
Reposted by kellerb
The Word of the Day: unconditional.
JD Vance: "This is how wars ultimately get settled. If you go back to World War 2, if you go back to every major conflict in human history, they all end with some kind of negotiation."
August 24, 2025 at 3:52 PM
The Word of the Day: unconditional.
Reposted by kellerb
you die a fairy tale or live long enough to become a cautionary
August 24, 2025 at 3:31 AM
you die a fairy tale or live long enough to become a cautionary
Reposted by kellerb
Still wants this tee.
August 19, 2025 at 11:10 PM
Still wants this tee.
Fetus: "weird, that sonogram didn't try to look at me at all. It just hovered outside the door and knocked a few times and left. Changed frequencies a lot too"
August 20, 2025 at 8:41 PM
Fetus: "weird, that sonogram didn't try to look at me at all. It just hovered outside the door and knocked a few times and left. Changed frequencies a lot too"
Glen Matlock, Ben Matlock - never been seen at the same place, same time. makes you think.
August 16, 2025 at 4:14 PM
Glen Matlock, Ben Matlock - never been seen at the same place, same time. makes you think.
Metallica, selling out: "I'm Liquid Death! Yehuuh"
August 7, 2025 at 9:21 AM
Metallica, selling out: "I'm Liquid Death! Yehuuh"
I grew up in different times. My family had one chip clip and it lasted my entire childhood. My parents probably still have it
August 2, 2025 at 10:10 PM
I grew up in different times. My family had one chip clip and it lasted my entire childhood. My parents probably still have it