JSlow
@jslow.bsky.social
5 is the only thing we’re living for…I’m in da weeds, breaking and making, wishing I was a robot
Reposted by JSlow
i hope someday i win the fifa peace prize. maybe even the pizza hut medal of honor. or hell, why not, a costco oscar
December 5, 2025 at 11:55 PM
i hope someday i win the fifa peace prize. maybe even the pizza hut medal of honor. or hell, why not, a costco oscar
Reposted by JSlow
(at 13% battery) I’m fuckin rich
December 6, 2025 at 2:49 AM
(at 13% battery) I’m fuckin rich
That’s our leader, damn
December 6, 2025 at 4:24 AM
That’s our leader, damn
My neighbor just told me English is a backhanded language.
December 6, 2025 at 2:58 AM
My neighbor just told me English is a backhanded language.
Reposted by JSlow
Zero tolerance for doomerism. Stop lazily accepting that everything is screwed forever. Stop normalising low expectations. That’s part of the problem & it’s what the bastards want. It’s also a product of privilege. People in more desperate situations don’t have the option to just sit back & shrug.
December 5, 2025 at 10:00 AM
Zero tolerance for doomerism. Stop lazily accepting that everything is screwed forever. Stop normalising low expectations. That’s part of the problem & it’s what the bastards want. It’s also a product of privilege. People in more desperate situations don’t have the option to just sit back & shrug.
This confliction is ongoing
December 6, 2025 at 2:26 AM
This confliction is ongoing
she was blind and I’m a moron, it was a perfect storm
December 6, 2025 at 1:40 AM
she was blind and I’m a moron, it was a perfect storm
Fox walks a fine line of this is all great/going all to hell with a Republican president
December 6, 2025 at 12:34 AM
Fox walks a fine line of this is all great/going all to hell with a Republican president
the loose numbers break my brain
nothing
matters
nothing
matters
December 6, 2025 at 12:26 AM
the loose numbers break my brain
nothing
matters
nothing
matters
hope to use some plenary authority tonight, wish me luck
December 6, 2025 at 12:08 AM
hope to use some plenary authority tonight, wish me luck
Reposted by JSlow
They really did not have to pardon a notorious drug trafficker in the middle of a news cycle about how they think they're allowed to kill anyone they think is a drug dealer. They just decided to do that.
December 5, 2025 at 11:55 PM
They really did not have to pardon a notorious drug trafficker in the middle of a news cycle about how they think they're allowed to kill anyone they think is a drug dealer. They just decided to do that.
Reposted by JSlow
Next on Frontline – woodpeckers: why do they hate my fascia?
December 5, 2025 at 10:48 PM
Next on Frontline – woodpeckers: why do they hate my fascia?
This all might be ok, just need to check my lottery tickets.
December 5, 2025 at 10:57 PM
This all might be ok, just need to check my lottery tickets.
Reposted by JSlow
They’re talking about marauding beavers on PBS Kids where my Christofascists at
December 5, 2025 at 10:47 PM
They’re talking about marauding beavers on PBS Kids where my Christofascists at
Reposted by JSlow
cop: have you been drinking tonight?
cowboy: no officer
cop: i was talking to your horse
cowboy: no officer
cop: i was talking to your horse
December 5, 2025 at 10:46 PM
cop: have you been drinking tonight?
cowboy: no officer
cop: i was talking to your horse
cowboy: no officer
cop: i was talking to your horse
Reposted by JSlow
Not sure how I feel about holiday beverages – I’m eggnostic HAHA I wanted to get this joke out one more time before we're all sent to work in the asbestos mines
December 5, 2025 at 10:41 PM
Not sure how I feel about holiday beverages – I’m eggnostic HAHA I wanted to get this joke out one more time before we're all sent to work in the asbestos mines
Americas fifteen minutes was the 70’s because of greed.
December 5, 2025 at 10:47 PM
Americas fifteen minutes was the 70’s because of greed.
Me and my gf are trying to get the head of my penis into a dog toy and we don’t own a dog.
December 5, 2025 at 10:40 PM
Me and my gf are trying to get the head of my penis into a dog toy and we don’t own a dog.
Reposted by JSlow
I will always love dogs. I don’t love them just because of how they look or what their breed standards are. Dogs teach us humans trust, respect, and fairness. Dogs show what true loyalty means. Dogs know and show what unconditional love is. Humanity would be nothing without the existence of dogs.
December 5, 2025 at 7:15 PM
I will always love dogs. I don’t love them just because of how they look or what their breed standards are. Dogs teach us humans trust, respect, and fairness. Dogs show what true loyalty means. Dogs know and show what unconditional love is. Humanity would be nothing without the existence of dogs.
My 80 yo father texted to say he wrecked his mustang and was giving up driving. He said, “Gonna ride the dog, at least the crazy person in the seat next to me will understand what I’m saying.”
December 5, 2025 at 10:15 PM
My 80 yo father texted to say he wrecked his mustang and was giving up driving. He said, “Gonna ride the dog, at least the crazy person in the seat next to me will understand what I’m saying.”
Reposted by JSlow
Nana always told us never to argue about religion or politics or the interdimensionality of bigfoot
December 5, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Nana always told us never to argue about religion or politics or the interdimensionality of bigfoot
As a child I invented a way to fall asleep by preventing oxygen getting to my brain.
December 5, 2025 at 4:48 AM
As a child I invented a way to fall asleep by preventing oxygen getting to my brain.
if you knew the whole story you wouldn’t believe it
December 5, 2025 at 4:40 AM
if you knew the whole story you wouldn’t believe it
this is just getting more and more absurd
December 5, 2025 at 2:23 AM
this is just getting more and more absurd
everybody knows we’re done
December 5, 2025 at 1:55 AM
everybody knows we’re done