Jimmy Two Hands (gobblin’ mode)🦃
@jimmytwohands.bsky.social
I make music and comics for my own amusement. A jimbo, not a himbo. He/him
Chicago number one in da world, baby!
Chicago number one in da world, baby!
Pinned
If you follow me on this site or I follow you, that means we are friends and I will totally share a bag of corn nuts with you ( if I have one)
it’s a real “I am Spartacus” moment for pedophiles right now
epstein emails released and everyone coming out as a pedophile to defend donald trump
November 17, 2025 at 12:39 AM
it’s a real “I am Spartacus” moment for pedophiles right now
Can someone who is still on twitter go ask this dingleberry why he is cheering on a known antisemite
November 17, 2025 at 12:19 AM
Can someone who is still on twitter go ask this dingleberry why he is cheering on a known antisemite
Reposted by Jimmy Two Hands (gobblin’ mode)🦃
*roxxette voice*
🎶it must have been butts
but it’s boners now🎵
🎶it must have been butts
but it’s boners now🎵
November 16, 2025 at 6:59 PM
*roxxette voice*
🎶it must have been butts
but it’s boners now🎵
🎶it must have been butts
but it’s boners now🎵
Reposted by Jimmy Two Hands (gobblin’ mode)🦃
THREAD. A collection of photographs of the best scarecrows I have met on walks.
You will find the captions to each photo in the alt text.
You will find the captions to each photo in the alt text.
November 16, 2025 at 2:29 PM
THREAD. A collection of photographs of the best scarecrows I have met on walks.
You will find the captions to each photo in the alt text.
You will find the captions to each photo in the alt text.
in the 80s cartoon Jen and the Holograms the rival band was called The Misfits and in one episode they played a song about how being greedy is awesome and it was called “gimme gimme gimme” and 40 years later I am still confusing Misfits with Black Flag
November 16, 2025 at 3:09 PM
in the 80s cartoon Jen and the Holograms the rival band was called The Misfits and in one episode they played a song about how being greedy is awesome and it was called “gimme gimme gimme” and 40 years later I am still confusing Misfits with Black Flag
Reposted by Jimmy Two Hands (gobblin’ mode)🦃
🎶I see a little silhouette-o of a ham🎶
🎶Gabagool gabagool can you pass the manchego🎶
🎶Gabagool gabagool can you pass the manchego🎶
January 17, 2024 at 2:09 PM
🎶I see a little silhouette-o of a ham🎶
🎶Gabagool gabagool can you pass the manchego🎶
🎶Gabagool gabagool can you pass the manchego🎶
The rest of us are forced to go bankrupt just for existing so that a cadre of rich freaks can rape children with impunity. But no, the real problem is immigrants and trans folk
November 16, 2025 at 1:44 PM
The rest of us are forced to go bankrupt just for existing so that a cadre of rich freaks can rape children with impunity. But no, the real problem is immigrants and trans folk
Ah, the good old days when the financial and political elite could abuse children without consequence
November 16, 2025 at 1:22 PM
Ah, the good old days when the financial and political elite could abuse children without consequence
so i’ve been having gay sex this whole time? willikers!
November 15, 2025 at 11:21 PM
so i’ve been having gay sex this whole time? willikers!
Reposted by Jimmy Two Hands (gobblin’ mode)🦃
I am prepared to vote for anybody who will stop this
November 15, 2025 at 6:42 PM
I am prepared to vote for anybody who will stop this
popcorn goatse
November 15, 2025 at 6:37 PM
popcorn goatse
Reposted by Jimmy Two Hands (gobblin’ mode)🦃
MISSIONARY: And he that lives by the sword shall perish by the sword.
GERMANIC CHIEFTAIN: So you’re saying keep it up and I’m guaranteed a warrior’s death?
MISSIONARY: …You know what? Sure.
GERMANIC CHIEFTAIN: This Josh guy fucking rules.
GERMANIC CHIEFTAIN: So you’re saying keep it up and I’m guaranteed a warrior’s death?
MISSIONARY: …You know what? Sure.
GERMANIC CHIEFTAIN: This Josh guy fucking rules.
November 15, 2025 at 5:09 PM
MISSIONARY: And he that lives by the sword shall perish by the sword.
GERMANIC CHIEFTAIN: So you’re saying keep it up and I’m guaranteed a warrior’s death?
MISSIONARY: …You know what? Sure.
GERMANIC CHIEFTAIN: This Josh guy fucking rules.
GERMANIC CHIEFTAIN: So you’re saying keep it up and I’m guaranteed a warrior’s death?
MISSIONARY: …You know what? Sure.
GERMANIC CHIEFTAIN: This Josh guy fucking rules.
President Buchanan sucked off Tippecanoe and Tyler too. It’s a grand presidential tradition
November 15, 2025 at 4:49 PM
President Buchanan sucked off Tippecanoe and Tyler too. It’s a grand presidential tradition
Reposted by Jimmy Two Hands (gobblin’ mode)🦃
Ok I updated it
November 14, 2025 at 10:09 PM
Ok I updated it
SPIRIT IN BLECCH
November 15, 2025 at 3:13 PM
SPIRIT IN BLECCH
Yesterday was a very funny day on the internet but it still does not compare to October 2020. I am hoping for even funnier days in the very near future
November 15, 2025 at 2:32 PM
Yesterday was a very funny day on the internet but it still does not compare to October 2020. I am hoping for even funnier days in the very near future
George kept the low end
November 15, 2025 at 1:26 AM
George kept the low end
There are a very very large number of men out here in the world who did not have nazi tattoos on their body for 2 decades and did not voluntarily work for a murderous military contractor, and I am certain this statistic holds in Maine as it does elsewhere
In order to move men, we have to welcome folks who have done things in the past we abhor. We have to allow folks to redeem themselves.
It’s sometimes uncomfortable, but it’s the only way we can win moving forward.
The math doesn’t math without more men.
It’s sometimes uncomfortable, but it’s the only way we can win moving forward.
The math doesn’t math without more men.
November 14, 2025 at 10:28 PM
There are a very very large number of men out here in the world who did not have nazi tattoos on their body for 2 decades and did not voluntarily work for a murderous military contractor, and I am certain this statistic holds in Maine as it does elsewhere
Reposted by Jimmy Two Hands (gobblin’ mode)🦃
lol master and apprentice
November 14, 2025 at 2:41 PM
lol master and apprentice
Ok I updated it
November 14, 2025 at 10:09 PM
Ok I updated it
HONK HONK
November 14, 2025 at 9:46 PM
HONK HONK
Two Hands, 46, lives in a two flat on the far northwest side of Chicago where cats lick their buttholes in the kitchen and Japanese Fairy Tales and 16th Century Recipes of the Belgian Household sit on his ipad, along with a bunch of other random shit that was free on the kindle store
Prompt: if you had to performatively display two books that you wanted the NYT writer profiling you about your career ending scandal to notice, what would they be?
November 14, 2025 at 9:25 PM
Two Hands, 46, lives in a two flat on the far northwest side of Chicago where cats lick their buttholes in the kitchen and Japanese Fairy Tales and 16th Century Recipes of the Belgian Household sit on his ipad, along with a bunch of other random shit that was free on the kindle store
One thing I didn’t like about game of thrones is how they had a House Slynt but said nothing about Spyderland or Twiez
November 14, 2025 at 8:44 PM
One thing I didn’t like about game of thrones is how they had a House Slynt but said nothing about Spyderland or Twiez