Simon🦑
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flatsquid.bsky.social
Simon🦑
@flatsquid.bsky.social
Science, anti-quackery, on the cusp of throwing it all in for unemployment in another country tbqhwy
Not the greatest photo, but impressed by the artwork in my Travelodge room entitled "I wonder what you are", artist unknown
December 3, 2025 at 4:42 PM
Reposted by Simon🦑
Take a moment to watch performance artist Guillaume Juncar. You won’t regret it.
December 2, 2025 at 6:05 AM
My company has adjusted everyone's email signature, removing the twitter link and replacing it with Instagram. Bit late but good riddance.
December 1, 2025 at 1:38 PM
Reposted by Simon🦑
The most precious commodity you have is your attention. You don’t have to waste it on poor-faith debates or arguments with strangers if you don’t think they’ll be productive. You can prioritize the things that matter to you and make your life richer.
November 30, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Reposted by Simon🦑
Dubai dwelling miniature Action Man made life - Ant Middleton, who is standing to be Mayor of London - thinks he's going to end up in the House of Commons if he wins the mayoral election.
November 30, 2025 at 10:24 PM
Been in a shootout & need a bullet removing? Rival gang knife fight & need stitches? Audrey's your gal! (No questions asked, cash only)
This magnifying light has changed everything. It's sooooooo much easier when you can see. Whoulda thunk it?
November 30, 2025 at 9:10 AM
Reposted by Simon🦑
😆 🤣 😂 😹
November 29, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Reposted by Simon🦑
Being kind does not make you wimpy.
Being cruel does not make you strong.

You'd be amazed how many otherwise intelligent people cannot comprehend this.
November 27, 2025 at 8:57 PM
Reposted by Simon🦑
November 27, 2025 at 6:53 PM
Reposted by Simon🦑
Your boyfriend tells Susie Dent that she absolutely nailed her word of the day
November 27, 2025 at 1:15 PM
Reposted by Simon🦑
Adobe users: it’s the most beautiful time of the year, where you can threaten to cancel your plan and get the price cut down from $59.99 to $29.99 for the next 12 months ✨

Manage plan-> cancel my plan -> continue and then you get this offer: (more)
December 10, 2024 at 3:14 PM
Reposted by Simon🦑
If you use GMail, AI (Gemini) was turned on yesterday by default and now scans all of your content for machine learning. To turn off, go to Settings>General and scroll down. Uncheck the box for "Smart features."

There's other "Smart" add-ons as well, but that's the one that reads your content.
November 20, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Reposted by Simon🦑
PERSON GASPING FOR AIR: *pushes epi pen into my hand*
ME: I said no autographs
November 19, 2025 at 5:12 PM
Reposted by Simon🦑
Happy Half-Life 1 Day. My favorite game of all time.

Celebrate by watching the most insane thing I ever got to make, until a year later when I got to do it again.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbZ3...
Half-Life: 25th Anniversary Documentary
YouTube video by Valve
www.youtube.com
November 19, 2025 at 5:12 PM
Reposted by Simon🦑
Here it is, my da Vinci machine in action
Blender 3D da Vinci Perpetual Motion Machine
YouTube video by del3d
www.youtube.com
November 18, 2025 at 6:43 PM
Reposted by Simon🦑
Twitter and chat gpt are down. Bad day for people who suck.
November 18, 2025 at 1:11 PM
Reposted by Simon🦑
Apparently
November 18, 2025 at 12:08 PM
In 2013 I started working in an office where everyone went to lunch at 12 midday on the dot. I left there in 2015 and a decade and 6 jobs later I always have lunch at 12 like some zombie algorithm, cursed to repeat myself until the end of time 🫤
November 18, 2025 at 12:06 PM
Reposted by Simon🦑
I still think about this little short film and just how utterly brilliant it is.

youtu.be/RSmjqss0XKQ?...
"THE BLACK HOLE" [HD] Short Film Pick Featured by NineJunctions
YouTube video by NineJunctions
youtu.be
November 17, 2025 at 11:17 AM
Reposted by Simon🦑
When your calendar clearly shows "Do Not Disturb" from 8am-2am but somehow someone still comes to ask you a stupid question 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums

Gerda Wegener's "Reclining Nude (Lili Elbe)" 1929 😁
November 14, 2025 at 7:23 AM
Reposted by Simon🦑
The nuclear codes were 1234.
The Louvre security password was Louvre.
Elite sex-conspirators list their names and crimes in emails and birthday cards to one another.

At least Dan Brown had the church disguise its dark secrets by jumbling the letters up and doing mirror writing and lemon juice.
November 14, 2025 at 7:25 AM
View from my accommodation today and another one for @pombalstoat.bsky.social to tell everyone where I am 😊
November 14, 2025 at 7:44 AM
5.30am at Gatwick departure lounge and Wetherspoons is absolutely rammed
November 13, 2025 at 5:39 AM
Reposted by Simon🦑
Watched an ai tiktok of a person cutting a cake that looks like a cat and a pet cat who’s watching freaks out and someone in the comments said ‘this is disgusting’ and someone else underneath wrote ‘its ai’ and the first one replied ‘it doesnt make it right he’ll be traumatised’
November 10, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Urgent call for help on Nextdoor 🧐
November 8, 2025 at 9:39 PM