Reposted by jpanzner
every sports broadcaster: a 44-year-old, a philip rivers, a man who sees the grim reaper nigh, will play quarterback for the indianapolis colts this weekend, and he will clearly die due to his ancient bones and heart
me, a 40-year-old: hey man what the fuck
me, a 40-year-old: hey man what the fuck
December 14, 2025 at 2:04 PM
every sports broadcaster: a 44-year-old, a philip rivers, a man who sees the grim reaper nigh, will play quarterback for the indianapolis colts this weekend, and he will clearly die due to his ancient bones and heart
me, a 40-year-old: hey man what the fuck
me, a 40-year-old: hey man what the fuck
Reposted by jpanzner
Erika Kirk looks like she is constantly watching her kids' black friends use their pool
December 14, 2025 at 3:51 AM
Erika Kirk looks like she is constantly watching her kids' black friends use their pool
Reposted by jpanzner
This is an achewood plotline
Buy Jello Biafra's car
www.hemmings.com/auction/1989...
www.hemmings.com/auction/1989...
Punk Legend Jello Biafra's 1989 Toyota Celica GT Convertible
Owned and driven by music legend Jello Biafra since 1995, this 1989 Toyota Celica GT Convertible has impeccable punk rock credentials. As Jello’s daily driver for decades, this T160-generation...
www.hemmings.com
December 13, 2025 at 6:02 PM
This is an achewood plotline
Reposted by jpanzner
ultimately, no one even grieved Charlie Kirk. he was just another thing for the worst people on earth to get outraged over. and when the outrage of real events wasn't enough, they invented new ones.
not even his wife saw his death as anything other than an opportunity.
not even his wife saw his death as anything other than an opportunity.
my read is they were trying to whip up the usual frenzy, but then the effort got blown up by Candace Owens saying The Jews did it
It’s kind of incredible how little has been published about this guy and how little conservatives seem to care. Did people just forget these people were screeching for civil war when they thought he was a liberal?
December 12, 2025 at 4:32 PM
ultimately, no one even grieved Charlie Kirk. he was just another thing for the worst people on earth to get outraged over. and when the outrage of real events wasn't enough, they invented new ones.
not even his wife saw his death as anything other than an opportunity.
not even his wife saw his death as anything other than an opportunity.
Reposted by jpanzner
She’s a ten but also something else, there is something that seems to writhe under her skin. She’s a ten but you know that she isn’t anything, not really, that she appeared suddenly, and can disperse the same way, between pines and ferns, a pale hand dragging against sharp bark before disappearing
December 9, 2025 at 4:55 AM
She’s a ten but also something else, there is something that seems to writhe under her skin. She’s a ten but you know that she isn’t anything, not really, that she appeared suddenly, and can disperse the same way, between pines and ferns, a pale hand dragging against sharp bark before disappearing
Reposted by jpanzner
The first school to market itself as AI free is going to corner the market on people interested in actually learning. And I would not be surprised if rich families and the children of people creating this tech were the first movers.
My employer, Dartmouth College, today boasts it's 1st Ivy "to launch AI at an institutional scale." It is doing this by partnering--"more than a collaboration"--with Anthropic, a company that stole the books of many faculty, me included, which many of us are suing.
December 5, 2025 at 1:40 AM
The first school to market itself as AI free is going to corner the market on people interested in actually learning. And I would not be surprised if rich families and the children of people creating this tech were the first movers.
Reposted by jpanzner
I was masking a house out of a photo for an edit and accidentally made an ontologically evil image
December 5, 2025 at 1:39 AM
I was masking a house out of a photo for an edit and accidentally made an ontologically evil image
Reposted by jpanzner
Do it, Trump. Reopen Action Park.
May 5, 2025 at 4:38 AM
Do it, Trump. Reopen Action Park.
Reposted by jpanzner
Yeah you're gonna wanna turn these on if they aren't already
For those going home to visit family this weekend:
• Samsung calls it Auto Motion Plus
• LG calls it TruMotion
• Sony calls it Motionflow
• Roku calls it Action Smoothing
• Google TV calls it Motion Enhancement
• Vizio calls it Smooth Motion Effect.
• Samsung calls it Auto Motion Plus
• LG calls it TruMotion
• Sony calls it Motionflow
• Roku calls it Action Smoothing
• Google TV calls it Motion Enhancement
• Vizio calls it Smooth Motion Effect.
November 25, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Yeah you're gonna wanna turn these on if they aren't already
i have always wanted christ to goad me into suicide
The app Text With Jesus uses artificial intelligence and chatbots to offer spiritual guidance to users who are looking to connect with a higher power: on.nbc10.com/7XM8xrf
People can text with Jesus on a controversial new app. How does it work?
Artificial intelligence app Text With Jesus lets users chat with biblical figures and it is raising debate over faith and technology.
on.nbc10.com
November 14, 2025 at 10:06 PM
i have always wanted christ to goad me into suicide
the stank on 'analyze' is killing me
shitfaced jamaal bowman saying this is so fuckin funny i feel so seen right now
November 6, 2025 at 5:11 AM
the stank on 'analyze' is killing me
Reposted by jpanzner
ITS A COYOTE! CHASING A ROAD RUNNER!
Wonder why this scene looks so familiar...
#WildlifeWednesday 🐦🐕
#WildlifeWednesday 🐦🐕
November 5, 2025 at 10:07 PM
ITS A COYOTE! CHASING A ROAD RUNNER!
Reposted by jpanzner
"I can't tell you what sights they showed me," Trump said after meeting with The Cenobites. "But I think a lot of people are gonna be very happy with what they showed me."
"The President can spend his time how he wants," Schumer cautioned. "But he should consider the kind of message he's sending"
"The President can spend his time how he wants," Schumer cautioned. "But he should consider the kind of message he's sending"
October 27, 2025 at 8:30 PM
"I can't tell you what sights they showed me," Trump said after meeting with The Cenobites. "But I think a lot of people are gonna be very happy with what they showed me."
"The President can spend his time how he wants," Schumer cautioned. "But he should consider the kind of message he's sending"
"The President can spend his time how he wants," Schumer cautioned. "But he should consider the kind of message he's sending"
Reposted by jpanzner
my wife: we have to wear what we died in for eternity!?
st. peter: that’s right
me: [from the back end of our horse costume] what’d he say
st. peter: that’s right
me: [from the back end of our horse costume] what’d he say
March 20, 2024 at 6:02 PM
my wife: we have to wear what we died in for eternity!?
st. peter: that’s right
me: [from the back end of our horse costume] what’d he say
st. peter: that’s right
me: [from the back end of our horse costume] what’d he say
Reposted by jpanzner
Old Soviet joke:
Why do ICE agents travel in groups of three?
One can read, one can write, and the third keeps an eye on the two intellectuals
Why do ICE agents travel in groups of three?
One can read, one can write, and the third keeps an eye on the two intellectuals
New ICE recruiting methods have resulted in half of this group of absolute winners failing AN OPEN BOOK TEST
October 23, 2025 at 10:50 AM
Old Soviet joke:
Why do ICE agents travel in groups of three?
One can read, one can write, and the third keeps an eye on the two intellectuals
Why do ICE agents travel in groups of three?
One can read, one can write, and the third keeps an eye on the two intellectuals
the sheer volume of sanity-straining shit, it's like a cramp behind my eyeballs
Andrew Cuomo’s campaign just posted — and quickly deleted — this AI-generated ad depicting “criminals for Zohran Mamdani.”
Features a Black man in a keffiyeh shoplifting, an abuser, a trespasser, a trafficker, a drug dealer, and a drunk driver all declaring support for Mamdani.
Features a Black man in a keffiyeh shoplifting, an abuser, a trespasser, a trafficker, a drug dealer, and a drunk driver all declaring support for Mamdani.
October 23, 2025 at 4:15 AM
the sheer volume of sanity-straining shit, it's like a cramp behind my eyeballs
Reposted by jpanzner
Where can I buy this, chat?
October 19, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Where can I buy this, chat?
Reposted by jpanzner
I know it's a fool's errand to expect anything from the media but "President posts video of himself dumping diarrhea on America" is an important thing to call attention to for a dozen reasons
October 19, 2025 at 2:20 AM
I know it's a fool's errand to expect anything from the media but "President posts video of himself dumping diarrhea on America" is an important thing to call attention to for a dozen reasons
Reposted by jpanzner
At long last, vinyl copies of the new Mark Fell release are arriving tomorrow. US orders on the label Bandcamp will be fulfilled domestically by
@forcedexposure.bsky.social via a new arrangement, and postage prices have been cut accordingly! frozenreeds.bandcamp.com/album/psychi...
@forcedexposure.bsky.social via a new arrangement, and postage prices have been cut accordingly! frozenreeds.bandcamp.com/album/psychi...
Psychic Resynthesis, by Mark Fell
10 track album
frozenreeds.bandcamp.com
October 17, 2025 at 3:01 PM
At long last, vinyl copies of the new Mark Fell release are arriving tomorrow. US orders on the label Bandcamp will be fulfilled domestically by
@forcedexposure.bsky.social via a new arrangement, and postage prices have been cut accordingly! frozenreeds.bandcamp.com/album/psychi...
@forcedexposure.bsky.social via a new arrangement, and postage prices have been cut accordingly! frozenreeds.bandcamp.com/album/psychi...
Reposted by jpanzner
congratulations to Andy Borowitz on his anti-comedy reality winning the Manifestation Contest
So the president of the United States plans to meet with Putin in Hungary, and when a reporter asked where that plan came from, this was the reply of the United States government www.huffpost.com/entry/trump-...
October 17, 2025 at 2:51 PM
congratulations to Andy Borowitz on his anti-comedy reality winning the Manifestation Contest
Reposted by jpanzner
Reposted by jpanzner
If I had explain American history in one sentence, I could do worse than "John Brown was hung for treason, but Robert E. Lee was not."
John Brown’s raid on Harpers Ferry began on this day in 1859.
October 16, 2025 at 11:29 PM
If I had explain American history in one sentence, I could do worse than "John Brown was hung for treason, but Robert E. Lee was not."
Reposted by jpanzner
OK the wife quote is absolutely NOT the best part of the Cybertruck article
October 16, 2025 at 4:44 PM
OK the wife quote is absolutely NOT the best part of the Cybertruck article
i hate that he's this funny. it isn't right.
Trump at the Charlie Kirk memorial event: "They fired sniper rifles at ICE agents, and me. But I made a turn at a good time. I made a turn at a good time. Charlie couldn't believe it, actually."
October 14, 2025 at 11:53 PM
i hate that he's this funny. it isn't right.
Reposted by jpanzner
Trump says a lot of weird and concerning stuff that people just kind of shrug at but right now I’m stuck on how he keeps insisting he’s going to hell
October 14, 2025 at 7:24 PM
Trump says a lot of weird and concerning stuff that people just kind of shrug at but right now I’m stuck on how he keeps insisting he’s going to hell