Neil Christopher
@enolabfc.bsky.social
"A man who never eats a pork bun is never a whole man."
This is some proper Kim Jung-Il shit right here.
Kristi Noem: "Sir, you made it through hurricane season without a hurricane. You kept the hurricanes away. We appreciate that."
December 2, 2025 at 8:49 PM
This is some proper Kim Jung-Il shit right here.
Listening to 90s compilation and was unwittingly assailed by ‘Love Is The Law’ by The Seahorses. Sacre feckin’ bleu. Absolute toss on toast. It was utter shite back in the day and has aged like a fine milk since. 100% aural dogshit.
December 2, 2025 at 5:53 PM
Listening to 90s compilation and was unwittingly assailed by ‘Love Is The Law’ by The Seahorses. Sacre feckin’ bleu. Absolute toss on toast. It was utter shite back in the day and has aged like a fine milk since. 100% aural dogshit.
Reposted by Neil Christopher
The multi Academy Award winning 🇺🇸 American romantic drama “CASABLANCA” directed by Michael Curtiz and starring Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman, Claude Rains, Paul Henreid and Dooley Wilson premiered at the Hollywood Theater in New York City #OnThisDay in 1942
🎬 #WarnerBros
🎬 #WarnerBros
November 26, 2025 at 9:35 AM
The multi Academy Award winning 🇺🇸 American romantic drama “CASABLANCA” directed by Michael Curtiz and starring Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman, Claude Rains, Paul Henreid and Dooley Wilson premiered at the Hollywood Theater in New York City #OnThisDay in 1942
🎬 #WarnerBros
🎬 #WarnerBros
Gotta get these shots away quicker. #BurnleyFC
November 22, 2025 at 12:48 PM
Gotta get these shots away quicker. #BurnleyFC
Reposted by Neil Christopher
There will eventually come a day where I don’t watch the Scotland v Denmark highlights from Tuesday.
Today is not that day.
Today is not that day.
November 20, 2025 at 10:20 PM
There will eventually come a day where I don’t watch the Scotland v Denmark highlights from Tuesday.
Today is not that day.
Today is not that day.
Well, flip my hat. #GetInThereYaDancer
November 18, 2025 at 10:02 PM
Well, flip my hat. #GetInThereYaDancer
Reposted by Neil Christopher
“…and we want to assure those dark forces: we hear you, you have our full attention, we’ve got your backs. You can count on us.”
November 17, 2025 at 11:08 AM
“…and we want to assure those dark forces: we hear you, you have our full attention, we’ve got your backs. You can count on us.”
Reposted by Neil Christopher
Reposted by Neil Christopher
![Cartoon by Stephen Collins for The Guardian. Script as follows:
[scene is Winston Churchill in a bbc studio, giving his 'finest hour' speech]
1
CHURCHILL:
The whole fury and might of the enemy must very soon be turned on us.
2
CHURCHILL:
Hitler knows that he will have to break us in this Island or lose the war.
3
CHURCHILL:
If we can stand up to him, all Europe may be free
and the life of the world may move forward into broad, sun-
BBC PRESENTER:
Thank you prime minister
4
BBC PRESENTER:
Mr hitler, your response?
5
HITLER [in the studio]:
Vell zis is hysterical woke nonsense as usual from mr Churchill
6
HITLER:
What we are proposing -
CHURCHILL:
Hang on
7
HITLER:
Let me finish - what we are proposing eez a simple power-sharing arrangement -
8
CHURCHILL:
What's he doing here
BBC PRESENTER:
It's important we hear both sides of the debate
9
CHURCHILL:
This isn't a debate
You don't debate fascists
10
HITLER:
Oh here we go with ze Godwins law!
11
HITLER:
Why must you people always compare ze things you don't like to 'fascists, Nazis, Hitler'...
CHURCHILL:
Because you are a fascist Nazi Hit-
12
HITLER [standing up, saluting]:
RAUSS!
BBC PRESENTER:
*Please* Mr Churchill let him speak
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreibw4ldc3fhslbvxgy2oqrof2oys5kpgh7zu6a5f3usmx3lf4547qm@jpeg)
No idea why but my timeline has been filled with Australian stories/politics recently. Has someone been pissing about with the algorithms or something?
November 9, 2025 at 4:21 PM
No idea why but my timeline has been filled with Australian stories/politics recently. Has someone been pissing about with the algorithms or something?
You sons of a motherless goat!
November 8, 2025 at 9:48 PM
You sons of a motherless goat!
I’m sure KitKats used to be bigger.
November 7, 2025 at 10:19 AM
I’m sure KitKats used to be bigger.
Being awarded a peace prize by FIFA is about as significant as winning the Nobel Commitee’s goal of the season.
What a set of utter clowns.
What a set of utter clowns.
November 6, 2025 at 11:54 AM
Being awarded a peace prize by FIFA is about as significant as winning the Nobel Commitee’s goal of the season.
What a set of utter clowns.
What a set of utter clowns.
Reposted by Neil Christopher
There was a king named Ozymandias
Whose visage was once Marlon Brandious
Now his statuesque legs
Were but truncated pegs
With nothing beyond his sad sandy ass
Whose visage was once Marlon Brandious
Now his statuesque legs
Were but truncated pegs
With nothing beyond his sad sandy ass
October 30, 2025 at 11:34 PM
There was a king named Ozymandias
Whose visage was once Marlon Brandious
Now his statuesque legs
Were but truncated pegs
With nothing beyond his sad sandy ass
Whose visage was once Marlon Brandious
Now his statuesque legs
Were but truncated pegs
With nothing beyond his sad sandy ass
Change one letter, ruin a candy.
Milky Tar.
Milky Tar.
Change one letter, ruin a candy
S&Ms
S&Ms
Change one letter, ruin a candy
Jelly Rabies
Jelly Rabies
October 30, 2025 at 5:07 PM
Change one letter, ruin a candy.
Milky Tar.
Milky Tar.
In a way you’ve almost got to admire Celtic’s dedication.
They just will not let Rangers beat them to anything, even including being Glasgow’s premier banter club.
They just will not let Rangers beat them to anything, even including being Glasgow’s premier banter club.
October 27, 2025 at 11:39 PM
In a way you’ve almost got to admire Celtic’s dedication.
They just will not let Rangers beat them to anything, even including being Glasgow’s premier banter club.
They just will not let Rangers beat them to anything, even including being Glasgow’s premier banter club.
Reposted by Neil Christopher
![Cartoon by Stephen Collins for the Guardian.
[Scene is BBC BREAKFAST with two presenters and a guest on the sofa].
1
PRESENTER:
Now - some disturbing new research has shown
2
PRESENTER:
that as many as 10 non-Reform political parties may currently operating ‘under the radar’ across the UK.
[Show on screen logos for Greens, Lib Dems, Conservatives
3
PRESENTER:
In the studio to discuss this, Nigel Farage
[We see the guest on the sofa is indeed Nigel Farage]
4
PRESENTER:
Nigel, what’s your view?
FARAGE:
Well I think this very worrying.
5
FARAGE:
And just another reason why we should ban all immigration.
6
PRESENTER:
I won’t push back on that
FARAGE:
Absolutely!
7
PRESENTER:
Funnily enough, this is what your new show’s about, isn’t it?
FARAGE:
Oop - plug time!
PRESENTER:
Ha ha
8
FARAGE:
Yes it’s a 12-part BBC documentary called ‘In Search Of The Political Parties That Aren’t My One’.
9
[Show on the TV screen Farage presenting a documentary series titled In Search Of The Political Parties That Aren’t My One. He is wearing his farmer's getup and looking dreamily at the UK from hillsides, visiting pubs and chatting with the locals, etc]
FARAGE:
It’s a really emotional journey
10
FARAGE:
with lots of dreamy footage of me looking relatable...
11
FARAGE:
as I answer the question:
*Am I the only option for Britain?*
12
[Cut back to studio]
PRESENTER:
I won’t push back on that
FARAGE:
Absolutely!
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreidseyojvyqngmitl76iafvvbvgg4a3i7a26642c2c3gacoi7pwtbi@jpeg)
Dubravka laying the foundations for another MOTM performance... #BurnleyFC
October 26, 2025 at 2:09 PM
Dubravka laying the foundations for another MOTM performance... #BurnleyFC
Football games peaked with ISS Pro 98.
Just remake that with modern graphics.
Job done.
Just remake that with modern graphics.
Job done.
October 24, 2025 at 5:20 PM
Football games peaked with ISS Pro 98.
Just remake that with modern graphics.
Job done.
Just remake that with modern graphics.
Job done.
Reposted by Neil Christopher
Hit a cow
Tried to reverse
Went forward
Hit it again
Reversed back
Hit another train
Put my foot down to get the heck out of there
Took out an owl
Tried to reverse
Went forward
Hit it again
Reversed back
Hit another train
Put my foot down to get the heck out of there
Took out an owl
October 21, 2025 at 6:40 PM
Hit a cow
Tried to reverse
Went forward
Hit it again
Reversed back
Hit another train
Put my foot down to get the heck out of there
Took out an owl
Tried to reverse
Went forward
Hit it again
Reversed back
Hit another train
Put my foot down to get the heck out of there
Took out an owl
Reposted by Neil Christopher
![[Scene is a DRINKS PARTY with various monstrous horror characters - proper grown-up, modern horror film type nightmare things - and they are standing around chatting. A little GREEN BLOB MONSTER called Dan is being introduced to the other monsters].
1
MONSTER 1 [introducing the little blob to the other monsters]:
Everybody, this is Dan
GROUP OF THREE MONSTERS:
Hi Dan!
2
MONSTER 2:
Pleased to meet you Dan, I’m Peter
3
MONSTER 3:
I’m Mary
MONSTER 4:
I’m Sean
4
MONSTER 1:
Peter is an extended metaphor for bereavement
5
MONSTER 1:
Mary is a manifestation of intergenerational trauma
6
MONSTER 1:
And Sean is a body-horror chimera expressing the cannibalistic dynamics of late-stage capitalism.
7
MONSTER 4:
And what do you, Dan?
8
BLOB MONSTER:
I’m a green blob that lives in the toilet and bites you on the arse.
9
MONSTER 3:
Gosh…
So is that like a metaphor for… society… or…?
BLOB MONSTER:
No.
10
BLOB MONSTER:
I’m a basic, old fashioned, meaningless horror movie monster. I’m a green blob in your toilet. I bite you on the arse.
11
[They all look disgusted]
12
[As the other monsters look awkward and drift away, Blob monster thinks]:
I hate parties
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreieektn7l3cxqhifqvh2rvjdo53mlme3f3lk2zn43sjae56xullqh4@jpeg)
West Ham have been an utterly risible shambles tonight. Absolutely dogtoss.
October 20, 2025 at 9:09 PM
West Ham have been an utterly risible shambles tonight. Absolutely dogtoss.
Reposted by Neil Christopher
![1
Nurse:
It’s become a real problem in this area
2
Nurse:
We’ve seen the whole community lost to addiction
3
Show a building sign posted:
Westminster ‘X’ Addiction Clinic
With various Westminster people or looking at their phones outside it
Nurse:
Ministers, Spads, Researchers…
4
Nurse:
Most mornings we’ll get a call about someone acting strangely
[Nurse on phone taking a call]
Ok - we’ll be right over
5
Nurse:
We just have a gentle chat
[Nurses approach a minister –Robert Jenrick? - standing in the Palace of Westminster
Minister:
I understand your concerns…
6
Nurse:
Are you OK love?
Minister:
Yes I’m just hearing legitimate concerns from real voters
7
Nurse:
That’s a robot, a Nazi and a poorly-disguised Russian
[Show that the people he is talking to are precisely these characters]
Nurse 2:
Give us your phone, love
8
Nurse:
At the clinic we put them in a Grass-Touching Pod, with a real voter to talk to
[We see them back at the clinic, holding the minister's head and pushing him into a glass isolation booth with a grass floor. And it is a baffled looking woman, on a chair, ready to talk to him.]
9
Minister:
YOU MUST BE WORRIED ABOUT THE COMING CIVIL WAR
[woman looks baffled]
10
woman:
I just want a bus service
Minister:
LOOK AT MY FLAG
[produces a St George's flag]
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreicahofq6s4xow7vowj7dx6odw6ejdwr4kwcmzta7qwi4hg2nvywji@jpeg)