crococo
@crococo.bsky.social
i wish i could change my Social Security number. 436-67-4245 just isn't *fun* enough, ya know?
Pinned
crococo
@crococo.bsky.social
· Aug 10
Frankly my dear, I give a damn. I give so many damns. I have anxiety.
does ernest actually save christmas? you'll never know unless you read the title of the movie.
November 25, 2025 at 6:39 PM
does ernest actually save christmas? you'll never know unless you read the title of the movie.
Reposted by crococo
In Memoriam:
Cheney Haunted By People He Didn't Manage To Kill In Iraq War
Cheney Haunted By People He Didn't Manage To Kill In Iraq War
November 4, 2025 at 5:14 PM
In Memoriam:
Cheney Haunted By People He Didn't Manage To Kill In Iraq War
Cheney Haunted By People He Didn't Manage To Kill In Iraq War
If Cher could turn back time, she'd take back the hurtful things she said to a lover, not kill baby Hitler. Curious.
October 30, 2025 at 1:08 AM
If Cher could turn back time, she'd take back the hurtful things she said to a lover, not kill baby Hitler. Curious.
"ugh, kombucha smells like feet"
perverts: 👀
perverts: 👀
October 29, 2025 at 7:22 PM
"ugh, kombucha smells like feet"
perverts: 👀
perverts: 👀
"purity tests are tearing the left apart"
::defends genocide::
::defends genocide::
October 27, 2025 at 4:52 PM
"purity tests are tearing the left apart"
::defends genocide::
::defends genocide::
Reposted by crococo
Opinion | I never personally had a Nazi-curious phase. But as a fair minded journalist, it’s my job to pretend this is a normal rite of passage for American men who might later go into politics.
October 22, 2025 at 4:44 PM
Opinion | I never personally had a Nazi-curious phase. But as a fair minded journalist, it’s my job to pretend this is a normal rite of passage for American men who might later go into politics.
andrew: the pederast formerly known as prince
October 18, 2025 at 6:23 AM
andrew: the pederast formerly known as prince
Hans Zimmer urinal at Midway airport
October 14, 2025 at 8:51 PM
Hans Zimmer urinal at Midway airport
Reposted by crococo
1993: you buttmunch (derogatory)
2025: you buttmunch? (flirting)
2025: you buttmunch? (flirting)
October 7, 2025 at 6:34 PM
1993: you buttmunch (derogatory)
2025: you buttmunch? (flirting)
2025: you buttmunch? (flirting)
workplace self evaluations have the same vibe as the government making you do your own taxes. they both already know the answer. they just want to see you squirm.
October 5, 2025 at 9:50 PM
workplace self evaluations have the same vibe as the government making you do your own taxes. they both already know the answer. they just want to see you squirm.
i'm trying to come up with songs that could never, ever, ever, no chance in hell be improved by a cover. so far i only have two entries on the list: "Bohemian Rhapsody" and "Fuck the Pain Away"
September 28, 2025 at 1:14 AM
i'm trying to come up with songs that could never, ever, ever, no chance in hell be improved by a cover. so far i only have two entries on the list: "Bohemian Rhapsody" and "Fuck the Pain Away"
MMMBibimbap is Hanson's song about eating Korean food. MMMBurp is Hanson's song about finishing eating Korean food
September 27, 2025 at 9:38 PM
MMMBibimbap is Hanson's song about eating Korean food. MMMBurp is Hanson's song about finishing eating Korean food
Reposted by crococo
Trump's failing mental health has accomplished what liberals never could: stopping the country from turning into a dictatorship.
September 24, 2025 at 4:10 PM
Trump's failing mental health has accomplished what liberals never could: stopping the country from turning into a dictatorship.
Jesus and Mary ascended to heaven in human bodies.
at some point they had to take one last shit up there. since bacteria don't have souls, it never decomposed
so there's a couple of holy shits sitting on a cloud in the afterlife. i wonder if they made historical marker plaques for them
at some point they had to take one last shit up there. since bacteria don't have souls, it never decomposed
so there's a couple of holy shits sitting on a cloud in the afterlife. i wonder if they made historical marker plaques for them
September 23, 2025 at 8:22 PM
Jesus and Mary ascended to heaven in human bodies.
at some point they had to take one last shit up there. since bacteria don't have souls, it never decomposed
so there's a couple of holy shits sitting on a cloud in the afterlife. i wonder if they made historical marker plaques for them
at some point they had to take one last shit up there. since bacteria don't have souls, it never decomposed
so there's a couple of holy shits sitting on a cloud in the afterlife. i wonder if they made historical marker plaques for them
the most unbelievable part of Superman is that the media would say something negative about a billionaire
September 22, 2025 at 4:55 AM
the most unbelievable part of Superman is that the media would say something negative about a billionaire
"God" is such a dumb idea.
It's like, "What if some dude made everything?"
Uh... okay... we can throw that in the "maybe pile". But let's try to figure out what actually happened
It's like, "What if some dude made everything?"
Uh... okay... we can throw that in the "maybe pile". But let's try to figure out what actually happened
September 21, 2025 at 5:28 PM
"God" is such a dumb idea.
It's like, "What if some dude made everything?"
Uh... okay... we can throw that in the "maybe pile". But let's try to figure out what actually happened
It's like, "What if some dude made everything?"
Uh... okay... we can throw that in the "maybe pile". But let's try to figure out what actually happened
could you date someone who owns cryptocurrency?
September 20, 2025 at 1:04 AM
could you date someone who owns cryptocurrency?
normalize doing this 🤏 at dudes driving sports cars
September 19, 2025 at 12:08 AM
normalize doing this 🤏 at dudes driving sports cars
side effects may include drowsiness, sense of euphoria, tingling in or discharge from the genitals.
ask your doctor if Orgasm™ is right for you
ask your doctor if Orgasm™ is right for you
September 14, 2025 at 9:13 PM
side effects may include drowsiness, sense of euphoria, tingling in or discharge from the genitals.
ask your doctor if Orgasm™ is right for you
ask your doctor if Orgasm™ is right for you
Reposted by crococo
Caturday is the best holiday with turd in its name. Much more enjoyable than Easturd.
September 13, 2025 at 7:08 PM
Caturday is the best holiday with turd in its name. Much more enjoyable than Easturd.
Reposted by crococo
September 11, 2025 at 6:27 AM
They should make a movie like Toy Story except all the toys are toy soldiers and the soldiers are in a war. Has anyone ever made a movie about war?
They should make a movie that is like Toy Story, but is all wrestling toys. Plus make it for adults. The wrestling figures are doing crazy shit when the kids arent around. Basically they think they are the wrestling character, not the person playing the part.
September 10, 2025 at 2:53 AM
They should make a movie like Toy Story except all the toys are toy soldiers and the soldiers are in a war. Has anyone ever made a movie about war?
Old Mort the pool attendant lorded over the pool all summer with a tight, evil-eyed, knowing grin on his face.
"Did you pee in the pool, Mort?" I asked
"Oh... it's not pee," he said.
I was glad it wasn't pee, and I think Mort was glad too because he chuckled to himself, grinning even more
"Did you pee in the pool, Mort?" I asked
"Oh... it's not pee," he said.
I was glad it wasn't pee, and I think Mort was glad too because he chuckled to himself, grinning even more
September 5, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Old Mort the pool attendant lorded over the pool all summer with a tight, evil-eyed, knowing grin on his face.
"Did you pee in the pool, Mort?" I asked
"Oh... it's not pee," he said.
I was glad it wasn't pee, and I think Mort was glad too because he chuckled to himself, grinning even more
"Did you pee in the pool, Mort?" I asked
"Oh... it's not pee," he said.
I was glad it wasn't pee, and I think Mort was glad too because he chuckled to himself, grinning even more
a combination moisturizer/desiccant lotion that leaves your normal skin looking its normalest
September 4, 2025 at 7:00 PM
a combination moisturizer/desiccant lotion that leaves your normal skin looking its normalest