C.H.U.D.ney Spears
@chudneyspears.bsky.social
Championing the minor irritations in a time of major grievances
My health insurance premiums are now higher than my mortgage payment
October 21, 2025 at 12:33 AM
My health insurance premiums are now higher than my mortgage payment
Reposted by C.H.U.D.ney Spears
why do you care if I have a thing for wardrobes that hold entire universes within them it’s narnia business
August 12, 2025 at 12:26 AM
why do you care if I have a thing for wardrobes that hold entire universes within them it’s narnia business
You’ll have to excuse my friend—she never learned the vosotros
August 1, 2025 at 11:53 PM
You’ll have to excuse my friend—she never learned the vosotros
Can someone remind me what the temporal lobe does? I keep forgetting
July 27, 2025 at 1:47 PM
Can someone remind me what the temporal lobe does? I keep forgetting
I’ve taken care of the whole yard with just clippers, a rake, and a broom. Nary a leaf blower in sight. I pause, sweating.
Cate Blanchett walks by and give me a slight nod.
It’s all been worth it.
Cate Blanchett walks by and give me a slight nod.
It’s all been worth it.
July 4, 2025 at 8:39 PM
I’ve taken care of the whole yard with just clippers, a rake, and a broom. Nary a leaf blower in sight. I pause, sweating.
Cate Blanchett walks by and give me a slight nod.
It’s all been worth it.
Cate Blanchett walks by and give me a slight nod.
It’s all been worth it.
I Don’t Know What That Was but It Belongs to the Vacuum Cleaner Now: a Memoir
June 29, 2025 at 5:07 PM
I Don’t Know What That Was but It Belongs to the Vacuum Cleaner Now: a Memoir
Reposted by C.H.U.D.ney Spears
[talking loudly on phone near a group of mosquitoes] yeah doctor said i got a bad case of stink blood, blood that tastes like stink
June 26, 2025 at 1:30 AM
[talking loudly on phone near a group of mosquitoes] yeah doctor said i got a bad case of stink blood, blood that tastes like stink
a lot more of you should have imposter syndrome
June 25, 2025 at 7:54 PM
a lot more of you should have imposter syndrome
Reposted by C.H.U.D.ney Spears
dad (looking out the window at the apocalypse): really comin down out there
June 15, 2025 at 3:26 PM
dad (looking out the window at the apocalypse): really comin down out there
sorry I talked shit about joy division on fathers day
June 15, 2025 at 3:41 PM
sorry I talked shit about joy division on fathers day
Reposted by C.H.U.D.ney Spears
When a baby is about to be born, someone always has to boil water. It's for the baby's first hot dogs.
June 2, 2025 at 4:33 AM
When a baby is about to be born, someone always has to boil water. It's for the baby's first hot dogs.
Reposted by C.H.U.D.ney Spears
[desperate for someone to play with my hair] can you check my head for lice
May 20, 2025 at 3:03 AM
[desperate for someone to play with my hair] can you check my head for lice
Think about how many fecal samples are in the mail with all of your mail waiting to be sorted
May 20, 2025 at 1:05 AM
Think about how many fecal samples are in the mail with all of your mail waiting to be sorted
The good thing about breakfast at 10:30 is lunch starts right away after
May 17, 2025 at 6:02 PM
The good thing about breakfast at 10:30 is lunch starts right away after
Leave my cat alone. That is her emotional support tampon!
May 14, 2025 at 2:13 PM
Leave my cat alone. That is her emotional support tampon!
Reposted by C.H.U.D.ney Spears
We used to be a proper country
May 11, 2025 at 11:32 PM
We used to be a proper country
Reposted by C.H.U.D.ney Spears
a hotdog in the hand is worth way more than two in the bush. no bush hotdogs for me thanks
May 11, 2025 at 11:35 PM
a hotdog in the hand is worth way more than two in the bush. no bush hotdogs for me thanks
Will I be able to follow Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus if I didn’t read the antique Prometheus?
May 8, 2025 at 2:51 AM
Will I be able to follow Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus if I didn’t read the antique Prometheus?
There has never, in the history of the universe, been anything more centered than the back of this check
May 6, 2025 at 9:49 PM
There has never, in the history of the universe, been anything more centered than the back of this check
I keep checking my email like I’m going to get a good one
April 30, 2025 at 10:57 PM
I keep checking my email like I’m going to get a good one
drag queens have nothing on my 14 year old daughter after a trip to sephora
April 27, 2025 at 9:35 PM
drag queens have nothing on my 14 year old daughter after a trip to sephora
If I were in a car chase I would immediately lose the car I was chasing
I simply do not know what kind of car that is
I simply do not know what kind of car that is
April 22, 2025 at 6:48 PM
If I were in a car chase I would immediately lose the car I was chasing
I simply do not know what kind of car that is
I simply do not know what kind of car that is
gaslighting myself into believing I do have an unpaid toll
April 22, 2025 at 4:29 PM
gaslighting myself into believing I do have an unpaid toll
they make professional espresso machines for the home but I want a professional hot dog roller machine
April 21, 2025 at 3:45 PM
they make professional espresso machines for the home but I want a professional hot dog roller machine