Affectlessjess
@cell.traumaqueers.party
25||NSFW||Untagged||Transfem||Poly||Kinky||UK
Reposted by Affectlessjess
human milk wouldn't taste very good; dairy milk is like that because cows eat a diet of sweet grasses and other vegetables.
remember to only give your cowgirls and pathetic porn toys sugary treats and fruits for the best milk quality!! if she tries to eat anything else you should hurt her.
remember to only give your cowgirls and pathetic porn toys sugary treats and fruits for the best milk quality!! if she tries to eat anything else you should hurt her.
December 14, 2025 at 5:06 PM
human milk wouldn't taste very good; dairy milk is like that because cows eat a diet of sweet grasses and other vegetables.
remember to only give your cowgirls and pathetic porn toys sugary treats and fruits for the best milk quality!! if she tries to eat anything else you should hurt her.
remember to only give your cowgirls and pathetic porn toys sugary treats and fruits for the best milk quality!! if she tries to eat anything else you should hurt her.
Reposted by Affectlessjess
![tumblr post from user muzzlekiss that reads: [flirting] if you put your hand on my throat you can watch my brain kick down several gears like a prey animal that knows it's done running](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ts4w5w74xg3vl5hylorxipjp/bafkreicw5b6r5hqh4obdvjgldzkr46ax6klkzyesh73f7lyttinnj3x2sy@jpeg)
Reposted by Affectlessjess
Any meal that requires you to make pastry or dough is a trap. You wanted to cook something nice? SIKE, bitch, you're BAKING now and the second your shaky weak hands add 0.3ml too much water the whole thing is going to fucking disintegrate 🔥
December 14, 2025 at 1:14 PM
Any meal that requires you to make pastry or dough is a trap. You wanted to cook something nice? SIKE, bitch, you're BAKING now and the second your shaky weak hands add 0.3ml too much water the whole thing is going to fucking disintegrate 🔥
Maybe the reason that Europeans turned out evil was because they spent too long eating Grey Goop (porridge, gruel) instead of Red Goop (curry, dhal) and the sheer ahedonia drove them to madness
December 13, 2025 at 11:20 AM
Maybe the reason that Europeans turned out evil was because they spent too long eating Grey Goop (porridge, gruel) instead of Red Goop (curry, dhal) and the sheer ahedonia drove them to madness
Reposted by Affectlessjess
seeing a woman at the bar with some really nice boots and just getting that sick twisting feeling in her stomach simultaneous to intense arousal as she walks over to introduce herself and do this whole dance again
December 12, 2025 at 2:59 AM
seeing a woman at the bar with some really nice boots and just getting that sick twisting feeling in her stomach simultaneous to intense arousal as she walks over to introduce herself and do this whole dance again
Reposted by Affectlessjess
Anecdotal, but in June a pal returned from Glastonbury and Wimbledon, comically sunburned from both. "Ha!" I said, "remember when we were kids, every year it was mudbaths at the main stage and rain-stopped play on centrecourt? That was the *whole* deal with both those things- oh right jesus fuck".
November 24, 2025 at 10:16 AM
Anecdotal, but in June a pal returned from Glastonbury and Wimbledon, comically sunburned from both. "Ha!" I said, "remember when we were kids, every year it was mudbaths at the main stage and rain-stopped play on centrecourt? That was the *whole* deal with both those things- oh right jesus fuck".
Reposted by Affectlessjess
NEW: Doxing-for-hire services are using forging emergency data requests from law enforcement to trick major tech companies like Apple and Amazon into handing over people's private information. @davidgilbert.bsky.social w/ the scoop: www.wired.com/story/doxers...
Doxers Posing as Cops Are Tricking Big Tech Firms Into Sharing People's Private Data
A spoofed email address and an easily faked document is all it takes for major tech companies to hand over your most personal information.
www.wired.com
December 11, 2025 at 6:57 PM
NEW: Doxing-for-hire services are using forging emergency data requests from law enforcement to trick major tech companies like Apple and Amazon into handing over people's private information. @davidgilbert.bsky.social w/ the scoop: www.wired.com/story/doxers...
Reposted by Affectlessjess
‘Reports show that 1000 pubs have closed since prohibition was introduced. In other news, 999 speakeasies have opened over the same period.’
December 10, 2025 at 7:25 AM
‘Reports show that 1000 pubs have closed since prohibition was introduced. In other news, 999 speakeasies have opened over the same period.’
Reposted by Affectlessjess
TIL about a memorial ceremony in Iceland in 2019 to mark the end of a glacier, changing the place name from Okjökull to Ok (jökull = glacier). Uncompromising wording on the bronze plaque:
"This is to acknowledge that we know what is happening and what needs to be done. Only you know if we did it".
"This is to acknowledge that we know what is happening and what needs to be done. Only you know if we did it".
December 7, 2025 at 5:17 PM
TIL about a memorial ceremony in Iceland in 2019 to mark the end of a glacier, changing the place name from Okjökull to Ok (jökull = glacier). Uncompromising wording on the bronze plaque:
"This is to acknowledge that we know what is happening and what needs to be done. Only you know if we did it".
"This is to acknowledge that we know what is happening and what needs to be done. Only you know if we did it".
Been re-listening to Fix Stevenson's Sunk Cost Fallacy today and goddamn I'd forgotten what a masterwork this album is.
December 7, 2025 at 4:24 PM
Been re-listening to Fix Stevenson's Sunk Cost Fallacy today and goddamn I'd forgotten what a masterwork this album is.
Got a little sloshed last night and invented cuck Magic. It's where other people play EDH and I lie on the sofa and watch and it's actually way more fun than playing Magic normally because you get all of the schadenfreude without ever having to be the victim 😇
December 7, 2025 at 9:47 AM
Got a little sloshed last night and invented cuck Magic. It's where other people play EDH and I lie on the sofa and watch and it's actually way more fun than playing Magic normally because you get all of the schadenfreude without ever having to be the victim 😇
Trying to sleep on an airbed got me so fucked up that I went and sat on the stairs with no pillow at like 5AM and slept better that way 😭
December 7, 2025 at 8:50 AM
Trying to sleep on an airbed got me so fucked up that I went and sat on the stairs with no pillow at like 5AM and slept better that way 😭
Reposted by Affectlessjess
Two girls who are closer to each other than any other characters shown in the series but the official word is that they're just friends. However. They both have offscreen girlfriends so it's not queerbait
December 7, 2025 at 12:43 AM
Two girls who are closer to each other than any other characters shown in the series but the official word is that they're just friends. However. They both have offscreen girlfriends so it's not queerbait
Reposted by Affectlessjess
on one hand I hate AI but on the other hand the destruction of British culture, argot and protocol is so funny to me. this is what you people get for allowing regional accents to disappear. You're amerihogs now.
December 7, 2025 at 1:11 AM
on one hand I hate AI but on the other hand the destruction of British culture, argot and protocol is so funny to me. this is what you people get for allowing regional accents to disappear. You're amerihogs now.
Reposted by Affectlessjess
The Invitation has the honor of having two of the funniest comments I’ve ever seen on an website
December 5, 2025 at 7:07 AM
The Invitation has the honor of having two of the funniest comments I’ve ever seen on an website
Girlfriend was promising me titty pics as motivation for doing my Work Thing for the day but I needed a little bit extra so I asked for pictures of her crying instead 😇
December 5, 2025 at 8:01 AM
Girlfriend was promising me titty pics as motivation for doing my Work Thing for the day but I needed a little bit extra so I asked for pictures of her crying instead 😇
Excerpt from conversations this afternoon:
"You've sucked every strap in the south of England!"
"Hey, it was only *five* different strapons..."
"Yeah, but have you seen the south of England?"
"You've sucked every strap in the south of England!"
"Hey, it was only *five* different strapons..."
"Yeah, but have you seen the south of England?"
December 3, 2025 at 3:37 PM
Excerpt from conversations this afternoon:
"You've sucked every strap in the south of England!"
"Hey, it was only *five* different strapons..."
"Yeah, but have you seen the south of England?"
"You've sucked every strap in the south of England!"
"Hey, it was only *five* different strapons..."
"Yeah, but have you seen the south of England?"
Reposted by Affectlessjess
Reposted by Affectlessjess
Reposted by Affectlessjess
though i cannot for the life of me find a historical manual that actually *tells you how and when to curtsey*. if anyone has any recommendations i would be immensely grateful
December 1, 2025 at 8:34 PM
though i cannot for the life of me find a historical manual that actually *tells you how and when to curtsey*. if anyone has any recommendations i would be immensely grateful
Reposted by Affectlessjess
there's something fucking beautiful about entering the flow state with a coworker during a heavy rush and you sync up so perfectly you stop even needing to communicate
November 30, 2025 at 3:39 PM
there's something fucking beautiful about entering the flow state with a coworker during a heavy rush and you sync up so perfectly you stop even needing to communicate
Reposted by Affectlessjess
One of the best worldbuilding guides you can read is Tolkien's notes on translation, where he talks about the fact that *everything* you write is in practice being translated into English; is is no more anachronistic to use the word "September" than it is use the word "sword" or "house" or "hello".
Not sure how I feel when a book tells me that instead of "12 months" they have "10 arcs," which are each 40 days long, and they all have names like Blossomarc, Flamearc Snowarc,.... I appreciate the world building, but couldnt we have just kept the calendar the same?
November 30, 2025 at 4:20 AM
One of the best worldbuilding guides you can read is Tolkien's notes on translation, where he talks about the fact that *everything* you write is in practice being translated into English; is is no more anachronistic to use the word "September" than it is use the word "sword" or "house" or "hello".
I love being a girl because you can really just wear the most nonsense outfit imagineable and still look hot
November 29, 2025 at 9:48 AM
I love being a girl because you can really just wear the most nonsense outfit imagineable and still look hot