Pinned
Chris Thorburn
@cbthorburn.bsky.social
· Sep 29
Editor: You get those photos of Elliott Gould and Grover?
Photographer: Sure did boss, real fuckin sexy just like you asked.
Editor: what
Photographer: Sure did boss, real fuckin sexy just like you asked.
Editor: what
*Chris de Burgh voice*
Dick Cheney is dead!
November 4, 2025 at 1:36 PM
*Chris de Burgh voice*
I’m sorry you think I “ruined” your Gatsby-themed party by sleeping with your wife and dying in the pool.
November 3, 2025 at 6:23 PM
I’m sorry you think I “ruined” your Gatsby-themed party by sleeping with your wife and dying in the pool.
Me: I feel like maybe I don't allow myself to be happy because deep down there's a part of me that believes I don't deserve to be, you know?
Dr Loomis: *scribbling notes* dead eyes pure evil
Dr Loomis: *scribbling notes* dead eyes pure evil
October 31, 2025 at 10:46 PM
Me: I feel like maybe I don't allow myself to be happy because deep down there's a part of me that believes I don't deserve to be, you know?
Dr Loomis: *scribbling notes* dead eyes pure evil
Dr Loomis: *scribbling notes* dead eyes pure evil
They say A.I. can replace our jobs but I’d like to see A.I. quickly burn out and make the overall environment toxic.
Okay I’m being told that’s the main thing it does.
Okay I’m being told that’s the main thing it does.
October 29, 2025 at 2:57 PM
They say A.I. can replace our jobs but I’d like to see A.I. quickly burn out and make the overall environment toxic.
Okay I’m being told that’s the main thing it does.
Okay I’m being told that’s the main thing it does.
Waiting patiently for my 3G to search and save Don Draper I Don’t Think About You At All Meme so I can win this argument.
October 28, 2025 at 7:27 PM
Waiting patiently for my 3G to search and save Don Draper I Don’t Think About You At All Meme so I can win this argument.
I can’t help but notice you’ve not immediately paid me for the invoice it took me seven months to get round to sending you.
October 28, 2025 at 9:31 AM
I can’t help but notice you’ve not immediately paid me for the invoice it took me seven months to get round to sending you.
Reposted by Chris Thorburn
Head barista: So I'm thinking we offer rolls, full breakfasts, hot drinks to sit in or takeaway...
Tim Robinson character in the back: yeah and what if the whole cafe could be dracula themed
Tim Robinson character in the back: yeah and what if the whole cafe could be dracula themed
September 30, 2023 at 5:31 PM
Head barista: So I'm thinking we offer rolls, full breakfasts, hot drinks to sit in or takeaway...
Tim Robinson character in the back: yeah and what if the whole cafe could be dracula themed
Tim Robinson character in the back: yeah and what if the whole cafe could be dracula themed
some awful nice timbers you’ve got there
be a shame if someone were to
shiver them
be a shame if someone were to
shiver them
October 24, 2025 at 12:25 PM
some awful nice timbers you’ve got there
be a shame if someone were to
shiver them
be a shame if someone were to
shiver them
Dinner
- CANNOT have the same thing twice in 1 week or so help me god
- Need veg, protein, carbs, all the groups
- Need to clean 8 dishes
- All day's been leading up to this, don't fuck it up
Breakfast
- Same shit every day
- Hot coffee
- Cereal
- Smash hit every time
- The best
- CANNOT have the same thing twice in 1 week or so help me god
- Need veg, protein, carbs, all the groups
- Need to clean 8 dishes
- All day's been leading up to this, don't fuck it up
Breakfast
- Same shit every day
- Hot coffee
- Cereal
- Smash hit every time
- The best
October 23, 2025 at 10:48 PM
Dinner
- CANNOT have the same thing twice in 1 week or so help me god
- Need veg, protein, carbs, all the groups
- Need to clean 8 dishes
- All day's been leading up to this, don't fuck it up
Breakfast
- Same shit every day
- Hot coffee
- Cereal
- Smash hit every time
- The best
- CANNOT have the same thing twice in 1 week or so help me god
- Need veg, protein, carbs, all the groups
- Need to clean 8 dishes
- All day's been leading up to this, don't fuck it up
Breakfast
- Same shit every day
- Hot coffee
- Cereal
- Smash hit every time
- The best
There is an epidemic amongst young men and it’s looking at your phone at the urinal. Look at you, you’re doing it right now.
October 23, 2025 at 8:07 PM
There is an epidemic amongst young men and it’s looking at your phone at the urinal. Look at you, you’re doing it right now.
I genuinely believe raincoats that are yellow are more waterproof and there’s no science to back that up
October 23, 2025 at 7:10 AM
I genuinely believe raincoats that are yellow are more waterproof and there’s no science to back that up
Love this picture of Batman with a tablet like he’s about to tell you there’s a 50 minute wait for a table but he can seat you at the bar
October 22, 2025 at 8:43 PM
Love this picture of Batman with a tablet like he’s about to tell you there’s a 50 minute wait for a table but he can seat you at the bar
After the films about Dylan going electric and Springsteen going acoustic, I cannot wait for the 2+ hour Oscar bait biopic all about when Tom Waits went full Cookie Monster
October 22, 2025 at 8:32 PM
After the films about Dylan going electric and Springsteen going acoustic, I cannot wait for the 2+ hour Oscar bait biopic all about when Tom Waits went full Cookie Monster
Reposted by Chris Thorburn
It's so funny knowing someone who created a meme @cbthorburn.bsky.social
“you come up with a mean nickname to call this guy on TV?”
“sure did boss, real fuckin sexy just like you asked”
“sure did boss, real fuckin sexy just like you asked”
I'm not sure this nickname will have the impact they think it will
June 27, 2025 at 10:29 AM
It's so funny knowing someone who created a meme @cbthorburn.bsky.social
Reposted by Chris Thorburn
Two months till #edfringe? Here, have a time-ordered list of gig recommendations: noblefailure.org/ed25
Ben Target!
@cbthorburn.bsky.social!
Elf Lyons!
@jennyfromthequiz.bsky.social!
@josielong.bsky.social!
@joznorris.bsky.social!
@leslieis.cool!
@turlygod.bsky.social!
@vixleyton.bsky.social!
Ben Target!
@cbthorburn.bsky.social!
Elf Lyons!
@jennyfromthequiz.bsky.social!
@josielong.bsky.social!
@joznorris.bsky.social!
@leslieis.cool!
@turlygod.bsky.social!
@vixleyton.bsky.social!
June 3, 2025 at 10:09 AM
Two months till #edfringe? Here, have a time-ordered list of gig recommendations: noblefailure.org/ed25
Ben Target!
@cbthorburn.bsky.social!
Elf Lyons!
@jennyfromthequiz.bsky.social!
@josielong.bsky.social!
@joznorris.bsky.social!
@leslieis.cool!
@turlygod.bsky.social!
@vixleyton.bsky.social!
Ben Target!
@cbthorburn.bsky.social!
Elf Lyons!
@jennyfromthequiz.bsky.social!
@josielong.bsky.social!
@joznorris.bsky.social!
@leslieis.cool!
@turlygod.bsky.social!
@vixleyton.bsky.social!
when the casino asked me to leave my own stag do
May 1, 2025 at 11:32 AM
when the casino asked me to leave my own stag do
Reposted by Chris Thorburn
🍌 TOP BANANA 🍌
Tonight at 7pm & 9pm! Catch our weekly new act / new material show, featuring all the best newcomers and a top headliner - for just £3!
@cbthorburn.bsky.social & #KatieGreen host and headline
🎟 buff.ly/VMwVeVx
.
.
.
#comedy #edinburgh #whatsonedinburgh #monkeybarrel
Tonight at 7pm & 9pm! Catch our weekly new act / new material show, featuring all the best newcomers and a top headliner - for just £3!
@cbthorburn.bsky.social & #KatieGreen host and headline
🎟 buff.ly/VMwVeVx
.
.
.
#comedy #edinburgh #whatsonedinburgh #monkeybarrel
March 19, 2025 at 12:10 PM
🍌 TOP BANANA 🍌
Tonight at 7pm & 9pm! Catch our weekly new act / new material show, featuring all the best newcomers and a top headliner - for just £3!
@cbthorburn.bsky.social & #KatieGreen host and headline
🎟 buff.ly/VMwVeVx
.
.
.
#comedy #edinburgh #whatsonedinburgh #monkeybarrel
Tonight at 7pm & 9pm! Catch our weekly new act / new material show, featuring all the best newcomers and a top headliner - for just £3!
@cbthorburn.bsky.social & #KatieGreen host and headline
🎟 buff.ly/VMwVeVx
.
.
.
#comedy #edinburgh #whatsonedinburgh #monkeybarrel
Reposted by Chris Thorburn
Much gig goodness coming to Glasgow Comedy Festival (glasgowcomedyfestival.com/events/) this month, go see e.g.
Joe Sutherland!
Kemah Bob!
Fern Brady!
@cbthorburn.bsky.social!
Kieran Hodgson!
@jainedwards.bsky.social!
Richard Brown!
Watching Bad Movies With Great Comedians! With more Chris Thorburn!
Joe Sutherland!
Kemah Bob!
Fern Brady!
@cbthorburn.bsky.social!
Kieran Hodgson!
@jainedwards.bsky.social!
Richard Brown!
Watching Bad Movies With Great Comedians! With more Chris Thorburn!
March 11, 2025 at 1:22 PM
Much gig goodness coming to Glasgow Comedy Festival (glasgowcomedyfestival.com/events/) this month, go see e.g.
Joe Sutherland!
Kemah Bob!
Fern Brady!
@cbthorburn.bsky.social!
Kieran Hodgson!
@jainedwards.bsky.social!
Richard Brown!
Watching Bad Movies With Great Comedians! With more Chris Thorburn!
Joe Sutherland!
Kemah Bob!
Fern Brady!
@cbthorburn.bsky.social!
Kieran Hodgson!
@jainedwards.bsky.social!
Richard Brown!
Watching Bad Movies With Great Comedians! With more Chris Thorburn!
Reposted by Chris Thorburn
My muppet and I saw you from across the bar and we really dig your vibe
March 1, 2025 at 3:08 PM
My muppet and I saw you from across the bar and we really dig your vibe
David Lynch was my favourite director and I’m absolutely floored by his loss. Here’s the stupid joke of mine he inspired. Thanks for everything David.
January 16, 2025 at 8:17 PM
David Lynch was my favourite director and I’m absolutely floored by his loss. Here’s the stupid joke of mine he inspired. Thanks for everything David.
Can’t believe it’s that time already.
January 3, 2025 at 1:19 PM
Can’t believe it’s that time already.
Not sure what to get that special someone for Christmas? Well it was two days ago so I’m sorry. You’ve fucked it.
Anyway I’m bringing a new Work In Progress to Glasgow Comedy Festival in March and tickets are on sale now.
www.glasgowcomedyfestival.com/performances...
Anyway I’m bringing a new Work In Progress to Glasgow Comedy Festival in March and tickets are on sale now.
www.glasgowcomedyfestival.com/performances...
December 27, 2024 at 10:57 AM
Not sure what to get that special someone for Christmas? Well it was two days ago so I’m sorry. You’ve fucked it.
Anyway I’m bringing a new Work In Progress to Glasgow Comedy Festival in March and tickets are on sale now.
www.glasgowcomedyfestival.com/performances...
Anyway I’m bringing a new Work In Progress to Glasgow Comedy Festival in March and tickets are on sale now.
www.glasgowcomedyfestival.com/performances...
