Chris Johnson
@captainslim.lol
Retired airline pilot, cryptography (not to be confused with cryptocurrency) enthusiast.
Signal DMs: https://signal.captainslim.lol
Signal DMs: https://signal.captainslim.lol
Reposted by Chris Johnson
What's striking about Trump's lies, and those of his apologists, is that they're not even plausible. They don't try to be plausible. As others have noted, that's kind of the point. True authoritarian control and power is telling a blatant and obvious lie, and showing you can get away with it.
Q: Can you explain what's going on with the bandages on Trump's hand?
LEAVITT: We've given you an explanation. The president is literally constantly shaking hands.
LEAVITT: We've given you an explanation. The president is literally constantly shaking hands.
December 14, 2025 at 7:56 PM
What's striking about Trump's lies, and those of his apologists, is that they're not even plausible. They don't try to be plausible. As others have noted, that's kind of the point. True authoritarian control and power is telling a blatant and obvious lie, and showing you can get away with it.
Reposted by Chris Johnson
This is going to be an interesting one to watch, given it was probably "wipe the phone instead of unlocking during a 'border search'".
IMO, the better approach: Use a strong passphrase, turn off the phone before landing, and say "keep it, we'll have the ACLU sort it out"
IMO, the better approach: Use a strong passphrase, turn off the phone before landing, and say "keep it, we'll have the ACLU sort it out"
New from 404 Media: a man has been charged for allegedly wiping a Google Pixel phone before CBP could search it. Search was by a CBP Tactical Terrorism Response Team, which ACLU says "interrogate innocent travelers." Man is described as an activist online
www.404media.co/man-charged-...
www.404media.co/man-charged-...
Man Charged for Wiping Phone Before CBP Could Search It
The exact circumstances around the search are not known. But activist Samuel Tunick is charged with deleting data from a Google Pixel before CBP’s Tactical Terrorism Response Team could search it.
www.404media.co
December 9, 2025 at 4:27 PM
This is going to be an interesting one to watch, given it was probably "wipe the phone instead of unlocking during a 'border search'".
IMO, the better approach: Use a strong passphrase, turn off the phone before landing, and say "keep it, we'll have the ACLU sort it out"
IMO, the better approach: Use a strong passphrase, turn off the phone before landing, and say "keep it, we'll have the ACLU sort it out"
I was promised wild monkeys. I didn’t see any wild monkeys.
December 6, 2025 at 8:10 AM
I was promised wild monkeys. I didn’t see any wild monkeys.
Gotta love watching your own flight land from the tail camera.
November 20, 2025 at 12:52 AM
Gotta love watching your own flight land from the tail camera.
I tried using my new Apple Digital ID, the one you derive from your passport, at a Miami airport TSA checkpoint today. My phone didn’t react at all when I held it by the NFC reader, as if the reader wasn’t even turned on. 🤷🏼♂️
November 18, 2025 at 10:37 PM
I tried using my new Apple Digital ID, the one you derive from your passport, at a Miami airport TSA checkpoint today. My phone didn’t react at all when I held it by the NFC reader, as if the reader wasn’t even turned on. 🤷🏼♂️
Reposted by Chris Johnson
You can now add your U.S. Passport to Apple Wallet on iPhone and Watch for use at airports! Just tap the + icon in wallet and add Digital ID at the top:
November 12, 2025 at 7:29 PM
You can now add your U.S. Passport to Apple Wallet on iPhone and Watch for use at airports! Just tap the + icon in wallet and add Digital ID at the top:
Reposted by Chris Johnson
well done sir no one suspects a thing
November 12, 2025 at 7:38 PM
well done sir no one suspects a thing
Reposted by Chris Johnson
Trump: "Nobody knows what magnets are."
November 10, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Trump: "Nobody knows what magnets are."
Reposted by Chris Johnson
sure, you might not be able to eat or go to the doctor, but check out how nice Trump's new marble shitter is
October 31, 2025 at 5:04 PM
sure, you might not be able to eat or go to the doctor, but check out how nice Trump's new marble shitter is
Reposted by Chris Johnson
October 20, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Reposted by Chris Johnson
When college kids publicly say "Israel's war on Gaza is bad" that is full-blown anti-Semitism that requires the federal government to crack down on all colleges.
When Young Republicans in their 20s and 30s privately praise Hitler and "joke" about the Holocaust, well, that's just freedom baby.
When Young Republicans in their 20s and 30s privately praise Hitler and "joke" about the Holocaust, well, that's just freedom baby.
October 15, 2025 at 6:53 PM
When college kids publicly say "Israel's war on Gaza is bad" that is full-blown anti-Semitism that requires the federal government to crack down on all colleges.
When Young Republicans in their 20s and 30s privately praise Hitler and "joke" about the Holocaust, well, that's just freedom baby.
When Young Republicans in their 20s and 30s privately praise Hitler and "joke" about the Holocaust, well, that's just freedom baby.
Reposted by Chris Johnson
Weeks before his death, you say?
Julius Caesar was the first Roman to put his own living face on coins, weeks before his death. It is one of the deepest cultural signifiers of something autocracies do and republics do not.
“Render unto Caesar.” A practice so notoriously arrogant Jesus himself dunked on it with snarky wordplay.
“Render unto Caesar.” A practice so notoriously arrogant Jesus himself dunked on it with snarky wordplay.
Treasury Department Has Plans To Mint Dollar Coin Featuring Donald Trump's Likeness | Defector
The United States Department of the Treasury has developed, to the brink of production, a dollar coin that features the face and likeness of President Donald Trump, according to a source within the Tr...
defector.com
October 3, 2025 at 8:32 PM
Weeks before his death, you say?
Took the Shinkansen back to Tokyo, was able to see Mt. Fuji again.
September 30, 2025 at 4:37 AM
Took the Shinkansen back to Tokyo, was able to see Mt. Fuji again.
Donald Trump, scientist
Trump: "It's too much liquid. Too many different things are going into that baby at too big a number. The size of this thing when you look at it. It's like 80 different vaccines and beyond vaccines."
September 22, 2025 at 11:26 PM
Donald Trump, scientist
On the Shinkansen (Japanese bullet train) from Tokyo to Kyoto.
September 21, 2025 at 4:28 AM
On the Shinkansen (Japanese bullet train) from Tokyo to Kyoto.
Reposted by Chris Johnson
I still can't believe a large segment of Red America looks at this pampered crybaby, slathered in orange makeup with his cotton candy combover, doing his little dances to the Village People and going on endlessly about his passion for interior decorating, and thinks "now *that* is an Alpha Male"
September 18, 2025 at 11:34 PM
I still can't believe a large segment of Red America looks at this pampered crybaby, slathered in orange makeup with his cotton candy combover, doing his little dances to the Village People and going on endlessly about his passion for interior decorating, and thinks "now *that* is an Alpha Male"
Reposted by Chris Johnson
one of the clearest signs you're dealing with a strong and principled political movement is when they want to make it illegal to make fun of them
September 15, 2025 at 3:54 PM
one of the clearest signs you're dealing with a strong and principled political movement is when they want to make it illegal to make fun of them
Reposted by Chris Johnson
I, too, wish that the president of the United States was a completely different person
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/12/o...
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/12/o...
September 13, 2025 at 6:35 AM
I, too, wish that the president of the United States was a completely different person
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/12/o...
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/12/o...
Reposted by Chris Johnson
Kirk didn't serve in the military or hold office. The war hero treatment -- half-mast flags, military guard, Air Force Two escort, calls for a statue at the Capitol or to lie in the Rotunda -- shows that for MAGA, service to Trump has become the highest, most honorable form of service.
September 12, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Kirk didn't serve in the military or hold office. The war hero treatment -- half-mast flags, military guard, Air Force Two escort, calls for a statue at the Capitol or to lie in the Rotunda -- shows that for MAGA, service to Trump has become the highest, most honorable form of service.
Reposted by Chris Johnson
Me, into the Abyss: AAAAAHHHH
Abyss, back at me: No shit
Abyss, back at me: No shit
September 10, 2025 at 4:43 PM
Me, into the Abyss: AAAAAHHHH
Abyss, back at me: No shit
Abyss, back at me: No shit
Reposted by Chris Johnson
One day after the Supreme Court lifted the ban on racial profiling, federal agents swarmed a car in Van Nuys.
Four masked agents with guns drawn yanked people out, slammed them to the ground, and pointed a weapon at a pregnant woman.
There is no justification for this. None.
Four masked agents with guns drawn yanked people out, slammed them to the ground, and pointed a weapon at a pregnant woman.
There is no justification for this. None.
September 10, 2025 at 5:34 AM
One day after the Supreme Court lifted the ban on racial profiling, federal agents swarmed a car in Van Nuys.
Four masked agents with guns drawn yanked people out, slammed them to the ground, and pointed a weapon at a pregnant woman.
There is no justification for this. None.
Four masked agents with guns drawn yanked people out, slammed them to the ground, and pointed a weapon at a pregnant woman.
There is no justification for this. None.
Reposted by Chris Johnson
DEFINITIVE PROOF THE “SPACE FORCE” ANNOUNCEMENT WAS PRE RECORDED!
If you look closely at the video, it features Donald Trump in the right side of the frame, and if you zoom in you can clearly tell that he is alive, which is impossible because he is dead.
If you look closely at the video, it features Donald Trump in the right side of the frame, and if you zoom in you can clearly tell that he is alive, which is impossible because he is dead.
September 2, 2025 at 6:59 PM
DEFINITIVE PROOF THE “SPACE FORCE” ANNOUNCEMENT WAS PRE RECORDED!
If you look closely at the video, it features Donald Trump in the right side of the frame, and if you zoom in you can clearly tell that he is alive, which is impossible because he is dead.
If you look closely at the video, it features Donald Trump in the right side of the frame, and if you zoom in you can clearly tell that he is alive, which is impossible because he is dead.
Now he’s capitalizing the first letter of every word? That’s new. He’s really gone around the bend.
Trump declares intention to issue an Executive Order mandating Voter ID for all votes, restricts mail-in voting to exceptions, and insists on paper ballots only.
August 31, 2025 at 3:32 PM
Now he’s capitalizing the first letter of every word? That’s new. He’s really gone around the bend.
It was objectively funny.
August 28, 2025 at 8:31 PM
It was objectively funny.
Reposted by Chris Johnson
Guy In Philosophy Class Needs To Shut The Fuck Up https://theonion.com/guy-in-philosophy-class-needs-to-shut-the-fuck-up-1819568055/
August 25, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Guy In Philosophy Class Needs To Shut The Fuck Up https://theonion.com/guy-in-philosophy-class-needs-to-shut-the-fuck-up-1819568055/