Ben Schrager
@benschrager.bsky.social
Sometimes acting in plays, sometimes writing them.
Go Birds, Go Phils, fuck TERFs
I was bad at Twitter, now I get to be bad this.
Go Birds, Go Phils, fuck TERFs
I was bad at Twitter, now I get to be bad this.
Reposted by Ben Schrager
i hope the eagles are sitting at home thinking about putting kevin patullo in the stocks in the town square
January 18, 2026 at 3:12 AM
i hope the eagles are sitting at home thinking about putting kevin patullo in the stocks in the town square
Whenever I see that stupid boombox, my immediate thought is “I can’t believe the Eagles lost to these fucking dorks.”
You can still laugh at the Niners as an Eagles fan because one of us capitalized on window and the other has a little boombox gimmick.
January 18, 2026 at 4:02 AM
Whenever I see that stupid boombox, my immediate thought is “I can’t believe the Eagles lost to these fucking dorks.”
*sighing, acknowledging solidarity includes actually good Vikings fans*
Skol
Skol
This makes me feel more patriotic than the national anthem ever could
January 17, 2026 at 3:08 PM
*sighing, acknowledging solidarity includes actually good Vikings fans*
Skol
Skol
*Bleeding from my eyes, jamming a thumbtack further into my palm:*
The Phillies are running it back!
The Phillies are running it back!
January 16, 2026 at 5:34 PM
*Bleeding from my eyes, jamming a thumbtack further into my palm:*
The Phillies are running it back!
The Phillies are running it back!
Reposted by Ben Schrager
spike lee's greatest work isn't Do The Right Thing or When The Levees Broke, it's his casting of Michael Rapaport in Bamboozled to play a character that is exactly who Michael Rapaport actually is, without Michael Rapaport realizing it
whenever I see people making fun of Michael Rapaport, I'm like, please continue, you are doing great
January 16, 2026 at 4:06 PM
spike lee's greatest work isn't Do The Right Thing or When The Levees Broke, it's his casting of Michael Rapaport in Bamboozled to play a character that is exactly who Michael Rapaport actually is, without Michael Rapaport realizing it
Reposted by Ben Schrager
I wrote about The Tantrum State and living in it. Personally I do not care for it very much. defector.com/fascists-are...
Fascists Are Pathetic | Defector
Two days before a shouting cluster of its agents surrounded the car of a Minneapolis mother and shot her to death last week, ICE was demanding answers from the Hilton hotel group on X.com. “Why did yo...
defector.com
January 15, 2026 at 2:33 PM
I wrote about The Tantrum State and living in it. Personally I do not care for it very much. defector.com/fascists-are...
I knew the odds of the Phillies re-signing Ranger were slim to none (especially with all their other focuses for FA).
Still…
Still…
patrick star from spongebob squarepants is crying with tears coming out of his eyes
Alt: patrick star from spongebob squarepants is crying with tears coming out of his eyes
media.tenor.com
January 14, 2026 at 7:54 PM
I knew the odds of the Phillies re-signing Ranger were slim to none (especially with all their other focuses for FA).
Still…
Still…
Reposted by Ben Schrager
Hard to find a bigger treat to freedom of the press than the President openly reminding a powerful journalist, on TV, that the journalist only has his job because of the President, and everyone being so lazily used to this sort of thing they don't even bother to edit it out for propriety's sake.
DOKOUPIL: When I travel the country, they tell me they don't feel it because grocery prices are up--
TRUMP: They're going to now. I've only been here for 11 months. I inherited a mess. If she got in, you wouldn't have this job right now.
TRUMP: They're going to now. I've only been here for 11 months. I inherited a mess. If she got in, you wouldn't have this job right now.
January 14, 2026 at 2:39 PM
Hard to find a bigger treat to freedom of the press than the President openly reminding a powerful journalist, on TV, that the journalist only has his job because of the President, and everyone being so lazily used to this sort of thing they don't even bother to edit it out for propriety's sake.
Small versions of Big things should utilize the -ette suffix more, like Cigars/Cigarettes
Fun Sized Snickers should be Snickerettes, pebbles should be Rockettes, etc.
Fun Sized Snickers should be Snickerettes, pebbles should be Rockettes, etc.
January 14, 2026 at 3:33 PM
Small versions of Big things should utilize the -ette suffix more, like Cigars/Cigarettes
Fun Sized Snickers should be Snickerettes, pebbles should be Rockettes, etc.
Fun Sized Snickers should be Snickerettes, pebbles should be Rockettes, etc.
The Testament of Ann Lee is a beautiful depiction of the timeless story of how a gay man and a straight woman can love each other enough to build a religious movement
January 13, 2026 at 11:21 PM
The Testament of Ann Lee is a beautiful depiction of the timeless story of how a gay man and a straight woman can love each other enough to build a religious movement
Reposted by Ben Schrager
If this person who burned a synagogue had cited the Quran in defending their antisemitic attack, we'd be reading dozens of news stories about Islamic extremism. Since he cited the Book of Revelation, the media really needs to connect this to extremist forms of white Christianity.
The FBI says that a suspect in the arson fire at the Beth Israel Congregation in Jackson, Mississippi, admitted to targeting the institution because of its “Jewish ties.”
Court documents say 19-year-old Stephen Spencer Pittman called the historic house of worship "a synagogue of Satan."
Court documents say 19-year-old Stephen Spencer Pittman called the historic house of worship "a synagogue of Satan."
Suspect in Beth Israel Burning Called It a ‘Synagogue of Satan’
A suspect in the arson fire at the Beth Israel Congregation in Jackson, Mississippi, allegedly admitted to targeting it because of its “Jewish ties.”
www.mississippifreepress.org
January 12, 2026 at 11:33 PM
If this person who burned a synagogue had cited the Quran in defending their antisemitic attack, we'd be reading dozens of news stories about Islamic extremism. Since he cited the Book of Revelation, the media really needs to connect this to extremist forms of white Christianity.
Reposted by Ben Schrager
Paul Verhoeven undefeated in creating a movie that flies right over the heads of the people it’s making fun of
Rightwing influencers are so bad at interpreting source material that they can only do it correctly by accident, when they're trying to make a joke
January 12, 2026 at 2:25 PM
Paul Verhoeven undefeated in creating a movie that flies right over the heads of the people it’s making fun of
“One half, he’s cooking, and the other half is completely raw” is gonna become a texting go-to for me for years to come
“I want AJ Brown packing his bags… And I also want Kevin Patullo flipping burgers at the local McDonald’s.”
January 12, 2026 at 3:28 PM
“One half, he’s cooking, and the other half is completely raw” is gonna become a texting go-to for me for years to come
Reposted by Ben Schrager
Supposedly the muntjac is having a huge hormone surge because his mate is in heat, which is why he's behaving aggressively.
To which I can only say: fellas, you ever get so horny you fight a rhino
To which I can only say: fellas, you ever get so horny you fight a rhino
January 11, 2026 at 11:36 PM
Supposedly the muntjac is having a huge hormone surge because his mate is in heat, which is why he's behaving aggressively.
To which I can only say: fellas, you ever get so horny you fight a rhino
To which I can only say: fellas, you ever get so horny you fight a rhino
Good morning, it’s a beautiful day to fire Kevin Patullo
January 12, 2026 at 1:51 PM
Good morning, it’s a beautiful day to fire Kevin Patullo
Reposted by Ben Schrager
America is yearning for "it."
January 9, 2026 at 9:39 PM
America is yearning for "it."
Ok, of the remaining teams, I think I go:
1) Bills
2) Texans
3) Bears (they’re fun! Chaos!)
4) Seahawks
5) Chargers
6) Broncos
5) Getting hit by a bus
6) Rams
7) Niners
8) Steelers
9) Getting hit by a 2nd bus driven by Kevin Patullo
10) Patriots
1) Bills
2) Texans
3) Bears (they’re fun! Chaos!)
4) Seahawks
5) Chargers
6) Broncos
5) Getting hit by a bus
6) Rams
7) Niners
8) Steelers
9) Getting hit by a 2nd bus driven by Kevin Patullo
10) Patriots
January 12, 2026 at 3:14 AM
Ok, of the remaining teams, I think I go:
1) Bills
2) Texans
3) Bears (they’re fun! Chaos!)
4) Seahawks
5) Chargers
6) Broncos
5) Getting hit by a bus
6) Rams
7) Niners
8) Steelers
9) Getting hit by a 2nd bus driven by Kevin Patullo
10) Patriots
1) Bills
2) Texans
3) Bears (they’re fun! Chaos!)
4) Seahawks
5) Chargers
6) Broncos
5) Getting hit by a bus
6) Rams
7) Niners
8) Steelers
9) Getting hit by a 2nd bus driven by Kevin Patullo
10) Patriots
Sum up the 2025 Philadelphia Eagles with an image saved on your phone
January 12, 2026 at 1:19 AM
Sum up the 2025 Philadelphia Eagles with an image saved on your phone
Reposted by Ben Schrager
Eagles offense with a 35th percentile performance, based on EPA/drive.
That's with 10 of 11 starters available on the NFL's most expensive offense. Going up against a bottom-5 defense.
Counted on defense to bail them out all year. In the end, they were who we thought they were.
That's with 10 of 11 starters available on the NFL's most expensive offense. Going up against a bottom-5 defense.
Counted on defense to bail them out all year. In the end, they were who we thought they were.
January 12, 2026 at 1:08 AM
Eagles offense with a 35th percentile performance, based on EPA/drive.
That's with 10 of 11 starters available on the NFL's most expensive offense. Going up against a bottom-5 defense.
Counted on defense to bail them out all year. In the end, they were who we thought they were.
That's with 10 of 11 starters available on the NFL's most expensive offense. Going up against a bottom-5 defense.
Counted on defense to bail them out all year. In the end, they were who we thought they were.
Reposted by Ben Schrager
we burned a whole year with this roster because Nick Sirianni just chose to promote his buddy in the building rather than run actual Offensive Coordinator search and he should be held accountable for that.
January 12, 2026 at 12:35 AM
we burned a whole year with this roster because Nick Sirianni just chose to promote his buddy in the building rather than run actual Offensive Coordinator search and he should be held accountable for that.
This take underestimated the fact that it is still Kevin Patullo and Nick Sirianni.
This is admittedly a dumb take, BUT: In a way, I’d almost take a one possession lead going into the half over being up two or three possessions, since in theory (in theory!) it forces Patullo and Sirianni not to get complacent play it safe with the three and out game
January 11, 2026 at 11:40 PM
This take underestimated the fact that it is still Kevin Patullo and Nick Sirianni.
This is admittedly a dumb take, BUT: In a way, I’d almost take a one possession lead going into the half over being up two or three possessions, since in theory (in theory!) it forces Patullo and Sirianni not to get complacent play it safe with the three and out game
January 11, 2026 at 11:10 PM
This is admittedly a dumb take, BUT: In a way, I’d almost take a one possession lead going into the half over being up two or three possessions, since in theory (in theory!) it forces Patullo and Sirianni not to get complacent play it safe with the three and out game
I call this celebration The “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?”
January 11, 2026 at 10:03 PM
I call this celebration The “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?”
Reposted by Ben Schrager
Crucial context: ICE agents have typically been taught not to get scared, shoot fleeing moms in the head, and then call them a bitch afterwards on days 48 and 49 of their training.
Chris Murphy: "The amount of training that's given to an ICE officer has been cut in half by this administration. The number of days of training they get are 47. You know why they get 47 days? As an homage to the vanity of POTUS. No wonder the number of violent incidents are going through the roof."
January 11, 2026 at 5:54 PM
Crucial context: ICE agents have typically been taught not to get scared, shoot fleeing moms in the head, and then call them a bitch afterwards on days 48 and 49 of their training.
Reposted by Ben Schrager
Ashley st Clair currently to the left of half the 2028 dem field
Losing my shit at Ashley St Clair doing a reverse Naomi Wolf.
January 11, 2026 at 8:21 PM
Ashley st Clair currently to the left of half the 2028 dem field