Ben Allan
@benallan.bsky.social
Subeditor / lamestream media left-wing govt mouthpiece / right-wing govt propagandist trapped in Dunedin, New Zealand. Opinions those of the Voice of the Mysterons. Used to program binary load lifters, very similar to your vaporators in most respects
I have eaten
the plums
that you were storing
at room temperature
in accordance
with the instructions
Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and at room temperature
the plums
that you were storing
at room temperature
in accordance
with the instructions
Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and at room temperature
February 10, 2026 at 10:00 AM
I have eaten
the plums
that you were storing
at room temperature
in accordance
with the instructions
Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and at room temperature
the plums
that you were storing
at room temperature
in accordance
with the instructions
Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and at room temperature
"That bottle of soda water you've just carried home from the supermarket WILL explode if you just twist it open" is information my brain 100% retains, and 100% refuses to present at the pertinent time.
February 10, 2026 at 5:51 AM
"That bottle of soda water you've just carried home from the supermarket WILL explode if you just twist it open" is information my brain 100% retains, and 100% refuses to present at the pertinent time.
Reposted by Ben Allan
all these ads are geared toward people our age because they think we have all the money but the joke is on them. 8 or 10 guys have all the money.
February 9, 2026 at 1:02 AM
all these ads are geared toward people our age because they think we have all the money but the joke is on them. 8 or 10 guys have all the money.
It's weird to be a sub and get online and be able to watch people confidently read intent or a political position that you just know for a fact isn't there at all into a headline in real time, but on the other hand I guess it's a nice reminder that your job has an actual effect in the world.
February 8, 2026 at 11:41 PM
It's weird to be a sub and get online and be able to watch people confidently read intent or a political position that you just know for a fact isn't there at all into a headline in real time, but on the other hand I guess it's a nice reminder that your job has an actual effect in the world.
Good luck to my boys out there during the Super Bowl today.
February 8, 2026 at 9:39 PM
Good luck to my boys out there during the Super Bowl today.
Got some dire warnings from the Android operating system on my new phone when I was switching Gemini off about how my "apps and phone may not function correctly" if I did, but it's been a few days now and the phone seems to be doing all the things I actually want it to do, weird
February 7, 2026 at 3:49 AM
Got some dire warnings from the Android operating system on my new phone when I was switching Gemini off about how my "apps and phone may not function correctly" if I did, but it's been a few days now and the phone seems to be doing all the things I actually want it to do, weird
The more we find out, the degree to which Epstein seems to basically have been a Bond villain is somewhat incredible, except A) no Bond film would dare make the villain a pedophile, and B) no Bond villain would seem as unsophisticated as hitting someone in the head with a rock
February 6, 2026 at 11:41 PM
The more we find out, the degree to which Epstein seems to basically have been a Bond villain is somewhat incredible, except A) no Bond film would dare make the villain a pedophile, and B) no Bond villain would seem as unsophisticated as hitting someone in the head with a rock
Reposted by Ben Allan
who called it Heated Rivalry and not Fuck Ice
February 6, 2026 at 3:08 PM
who called it Heated Rivalry and not Fuck Ice
I just poured over half a can of Emerson's Hazed and Confused into a slug trap I installed under the cabbages and it was genuinely upsetting.
All can say is 1) it better kill some slugs; 2) who are appreciative of the fact they get to go out classy.
All can say is 1) it better kill some slugs; 2) who are appreciative of the fact they get to go out classy.
February 5, 2026 at 4:13 AM
I just poured over half a can of Emerson's Hazed and Confused into a slug trap I installed under the cabbages and it was genuinely upsetting.
All can say is 1) it better kill some slugs; 2) who are appreciative of the fact they get to go out classy.
All can say is 1) it better kill some slugs; 2) who are appreciative of the fact they get to go out classy.
Jesus H Christ.
INBOX: Washington Post Ukraine Correspondent Lizzie Johnson announces that she has been laid off in the middle of a below-freezing war zone without power, heat, or running water.
February 4, 2026 at 10:53 PM
Jesus H Christ.
Reposting for no particular reason
... "Look at these Muppets" oh please, they *wish* they had leadership of Kermit's quality
February 4, 2026 at 10:38 PM
Reposting for no particular reason
The state of the world at the moment is already more than enough to stop one from even semi-permanently establishing any sense of peace or calm, and yet my brain still expects me to randomly stop every so often and spend 5 minutes being mad at The Rise of Skywalker.
February 3, 2026 at 8:29 PM
The state of the world at the moment is already more than enough to stop one from even semi-permanently establishing any sense of peace or calm, and yet my brain still expects me to randomly stop every so often and spend 5 minutes being mad at The Rise of Skywalker.
Embarrassing for us as a species that we have not yet evolved past "rich and powerful people get to do consequence-free sex crime bacchanals" when given a solid 2000 years.
February 1, 2026 at 12:16 AM
Embarrassing for us as a species that we have not yet evolved past "rich and powerful people get to do consequence-free sex crime bacchanals" when given a solid 2000 years.
Watching the recent French adaptation of The Three Musketeers and if there was a Best Hats category at the Oscars, this would have won.
January 30, 2026 at 6:45 AM
Watching the recent French adaptation of The Three Musketeers and if there was a Best Hats category at the Oscars, this would have won.
In an attempt at fairness towards Christopher Luxon, I can maybe see a few politicians on the left drawing positive reaction for rocking up with KFC for people, but boy is it not a move in tune with the PM's whole...vibe.
January 29, 2026 at 11:01 AM
In an attempt at fairness towards Christopher Luxon, I can maybe see a few politicians on the left drawing positive reaction for rocking up with KFC for people, but boy is it not a move in tune with the PM's whole...vibe.
I realised last night that it has taken the existence of the show Shrinking to actually get me to grasp the truth that Harrison Ford is in fact, a mortal human being.
January 28, 2026 at 10:13 PM
I realised last night that it has taken the existence of the show Shrinking to actually get me to grasp the truth that Harrison Ford is in fact, a mortal human being.
Reposted by Ben Allan
I always point out that Sauron was defeated because he literally couldn't comprehend the idea that anyone would seek to destroy the One Ring rather than selfishly using it for personal power.
One thing I found deeply moving about resistance in the Twin Cities was the universalism of loving your neighbor, the philosophy driving the opposition to the ICE/BP invasion. I couldn't help but notice the contrast with the blood and soil-ism of Miller and Vance. www.theatlantic.com/ideas/2026/0...
January 28, 2026 at 7:03 AM
I always point out that Sauron was defeated because he literally couldn't comprehend the idea that anyone would seek to destroy the One Ring rather than selfishly using it for personal power.
Imagine the confusion of being this bear of little brain at taking the fall for the wild unpopularity of what his government superiors explicitly ordered him to do.
BREAKING Greg Bovino has been removed as Border Patrol "commander at large" and will return to El Centro Calif, where he is expected to retire soon. A stunning turnaround after Pretti killing. Bovino's traveling blue city crackdown is over www.theatlantic.com/politics/202...
Gregory Bovino Gets Demoted
The Border Patrol chief was the public face of a traveling immigration crackdown on cities governed by Democrats.
www.theatlantic.com
January 27, 2026 at 1:45 AM
Imagine the confusion of being this bear of little brain at taking the fall for the wild unpopularity of what his government superiors explicitly ordered him to do.
Probably to Chch's great benefit that Alex Casey moved down, really - previously articles like this were only being written about Auckland and Wellington. (Also the fact this problem exists is never not crazy to me.)
thespinoff.co.nz/society/27-0...
thespinoff.co.nz/society/27-0...
Worst seats in the house at Christchurch’s Court Theatre? Apparently, there’s a lot of them
Audience members as well as people working on shows say in some seats you can’t see parts of the stage, while in others you can peer behind the scenes. And then there’s the sore backs, necks and knees...
thespinoff.co.nz
January 26, 2026 at 8:41 PM
Probably to Chch's great benefit that Alex Casey moved down, really - previously articles like this were only being written about Auckland and Wellington. (Also the fact this problem exists is never not crazy to me.)
thespinoff.co.nz/society/27-0...
thespinoff.co.nz/society/27-0...
Reposted by Ben Allan
Here’s a short poem about the power of poetry to change the world.
January 18, 2026 at 9:47 AM
Here’s a short poem about the power of poetry to change the world.
When the copywriter has a bit on their plate just now
January 22, 2026 at 6:27 AM
When the copywriter has a bit on their plate just now
Here is what for me was a delightfully unexpected clashing of spheres in which Kumail Nanjiani gives a shout-out to Glenn Phillips. Solidarity @kumail.bsky.social, the entire nation of NZ broke down over that match you couldn't find footage of Bulgaria as well.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2gL...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2gL...
Kumail Nanjiani on World Cups, Hollywood and India-Pakistan Relations
YouTube video by The Grade Cricketer
www.youtube.com
January 18, 2026 at 12:09 PM
Here is what for me was a delightfully unexpected clashing of spheres in which Kumail Nanjiani gives a shout-out to Glenn Phillips. Solidarity @kumail.bsky.social, the entire nation of NZ broke down over that match you couldn't find footage of Bulgaria as well.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2gL...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2gL...
David Kirk with an incredible opportunity to pull a Ted Lasso here.
January 16, 2026 at 7:11 AM
David Kirk with an incredible opportunity to pull a Ted Lasso here.
Reposted by Ben Allan
RT if you've never had a tab of ChatGPT open 'just to do quick research'
![You’ve got super fans pausing and zooming in on individuals frames of your documentary. One allegedly shows one of the Duffers with a ChatGPT tab open on their computer. In your presence, what did they use ChatGPT for?
I mean, are we even sure they had ChatGPT open?
I’m personally not, but the internet seems sure.
Well, there’s a lot of chatter where [social media users] are like, “We don’t really know, but we’re assuming.” But to me it’s like, doesn’t everybody have it open, to just do quick research?
I do.
How can you possibly write a storyline with 19 characters and use ChatGPT, I don’t even understand.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:7t2urmt3i33jl6tjgiolio6g/bafkreidw2tmcr2ayq74oqmjm5pn2tdox6hlxnpqevhuqqj6oa7nsslx3oi@jpeg)
January 13, 2026 at 8:45 PM
RT if you've never had a tab of ChatGPT open 'just to do quick research'