A.Valliard
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valliard.bsky.social
A.Valliard
@valliard.bsky.social
Allegorist, ink scribbler, occasional ham actor. They/them. Perpetrator of THE CITY OF LOST INTENTIONS: A Guide for the Artistically Waylaid.
Out now! (unfortunately)
www.thecityoflostintentions.com
www.valliard.com
Pinned
"Being a Compendium of Fallibility, a Bestiary of Artistic Fears & Foibles, and an Unhelpful Travel Guide to the City of Lost Intentions, with particular notice paid to its denizens—the transmogrified souls of self-damned artists—in the dubious company of Montcorbier, a disaffected psychopomp."
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It's essentially a sort of morbid Where's Wally where you try to find your place in writers'/artists' hell. There's 151 listed denizens of this city and 10 levels of artistic villainy. You're undoubtedly in there somewhere.
(I certainly am.)

#booksky
November 19, 2025 at 8:47 AM
The City of Lost Intentions: A Guide for the Artistically Waylaid is also available in BOOKSHOPS, where you can not only buy and own it immediately, but also support the dwindling, Amazon-ravaged bookstore ecosystem.

#booksky #art #bookshops #Brisbane #Sydney #Melbourne #Dublin
November 20, 2025 at 5:47 AM
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"The fundamental interconnectedness of all things."
#ink #scribbleau #portrait #art #spilledcoffee
October 27, 2025 at 9:39 AM
It's essentially a sort of morbid Where's Wally where you try to find your place in writers'/artists' hell. There's 151 listed denizens of this city and 10 levels of artistic villainy. You're undoubtedly in there somewhere.
(I certainly am.)

#booksky
November 19, 2025 at 8:47 AM
It’s that horrible time again! Remember, “The City of Lost Intentions” makes a fine gift for the malingering wastrel/artist in your life (which might be YOU).
thecityoflostintentions.com
#booksky #weirdbooks #absurdist #writingcommunity
£7 / $10 USD / €8 / $15 AUD
November 19, 2025 at 1:03 AM
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November 3, 2025 at 11:26 PM
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Trying to be more efficient, so I'm going to call all body parts "flaps."
November 5, 2025 at 11:47 PM
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It's great if the well-meaning and good-hearted are inspired, but it's even better if the soulless and calculating are scared.
November 5, 2025 at 2:13 PM
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New awareness campaign
November 3, 2025 at 3:23 PM
I've had rather a lot of people recommending AI to me lately, so I've drawn Shakespeare stabbing a robot in the eye with a quill.

#art #ink #scribbleau #verymuchnotAI
November 6, 2025 at 8:31 AM
Early rehearsal scribbles for the upcoming Kate Gaul directed COWBOIS! A "rollicking queer western" featuring a cast of horribly talented and charming actors and a lot of flouncing and swaggering around. Brilliant! www.seymourcentre.com/event/cowbois/
#art #illustration #theatre #ink
October 31, 2025 at 11:07 AM
People will literally rather spin double-headed coins and bet against themselves in private atonement for an unremembered past than go to therapy.
October 31, 2025 at 11:00 AM
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BACK in stock at the delightful Modern Times! The creepy little guidebook IS also available at Readings, Berkelouw's, Gleebooks & Avid Reader, etc., but for sweaty locals on King Street, Newtown, here or Better Read Than Dead is the most desirable option.
March 29, 2025 at 9:11 AM
"The fundamental interconnectedness of all things."
#ink #scribbleau #portrait #art #spilledcoffee
October 27, 2025 at 9:39 AM
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He set about doing the dishes with a sort of wild abandon he had never known in his youth, had never imagined possible. One, two! One, two! Plates and glasses, forks and knives, all fell before him. One, two! One, two! "Snicker-snack!" he shouted, startling the cat.
October 12, 2025 at 4:02 PM
Obscure and pointless Goon Show reference, but changed my phone’s message sound to Grytpype-Thynne and was awoken by an alarming ivory nasal drawl asking for a mutton-chop telescope. #Recommend
October 15, 2025 at 3:49 AM
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damn. hoping it at least signifies something
It is a tale
Told by an idiot
October 10, 2025 at 4:09 AM
Borzoi Hellhound! Another dubious doglike scribble for/of "The Tell-Tale Hound" #ink #illustration #musicaltheatre #folkhorror
September 13, 2025 at 12:52 PM
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Never too early for a poster! I love this image by @valliard.bsky.social. This show’s very dear to my heart, based on a notorious Bedlam Six song I wrote in 2007.
Producers who like folk horror, panting dog puppets and fast lyrics get in touch!
August 8, 2025 at 11:00 AM
There's some magnificently chaotic, pervy, absurdist, Bacchanalian business going on up at New Theatre
for 3 FINAL SHOWS, if any Sydneysiders are idle. "The Frogs: In Hell They Sing Show Tunes" adapted VERY loosely after Aeschylus. Cheap tix on Thurs, matinee on Saturday! #sydneytheatre #art #ink
September 3, 2025 at 2:37 AM
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i met anubis in the realm of the underworld, big strong guy by the way, had a dog’s head, i’m not so sure about that. and he said to me, mr president, you’ve got the heaviest soul we’ve ever weighed down here. can you believe it? they’ve never seen a soul that heavy in all of duat
September 2, 2025 at 4:48 AM
Emergency Room scribbles. (don't ask)
August 30, 2025 at 11:05 AM
Charlie Brooker’s description of a show as “as realistic as a cotton-wool tiger riding a tractor through a teardrop” remains both poignant and one of those sentences never before heard in the English language.
August 29, 2025 at 6:43 AM
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OK, should you require a copy of THE BIG BOOK OF UNFORTUNATE AUTHOR DEATHS (PDF), download it here:
drive.google.com/file/d/1MfWz...
July 23, 2025 at 8:50 AM
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MC: Can I get a volunteer?

[teen's hand shoots up]

MC (chuckling): The eager young man in the second row, come on up!

[teen takes seat in armchair on stage; ninety years pass; he falls from his seat dead, a withered old man]

MC: The relentlessness of time, everyone! The relentlessness of time!
June 24, 2025 at 8:48 AM