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Emi the Sweary Cook🌵

@undercoveremi.bsky.social

2.1K followers 530 following 7.7K posts

Freelance writer, Full-time fan trash, good cook. Temporarily posting a lot about cancer treatment and recovery, but only temporarily. She/her

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Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · Oct 18

I’m picking up some new friends from the latest Twitter exodus, so I should reintroduce myself.

I’m Emi! I live in Houston, TX. I write sometimes but mostly I cook, swear, and hang out with my awesome husband and my two ridiculous cats. I also talk about movies and tv a lot. Y’all means all.

This is Asha. The cutest tiny calico cat laying on a dusty (sorry!) wood floor staring at the camera with big wide amber eyes. She is a princess and the ruler of the household. Her hobbies including bullying her brother, taking baths, drowning toy mice in her water bowl, and napping atop her 6 ft cat tower

A bowl of Texas chili with no beans topped with shredded cheese and a corner slice of cornbread

A bowl of minestrone soup topped with grated Parmesan cheese and two slices of French bread

Sterling Mallory Archer the enormous tuxedo goof. He is stretched out on a kitchen counter with a goofy face because he has one brain cell. He’s the sweetest guy and he loves big hugs. He requires at least 30 minutes of dedicated attention in two sessions every single day

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Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 6h

Beyond fucking parody at this point

The New York Times @nytimes.com · 14h

In @nytopinion.nytimes.com

The antidote to our polarized politics “is a creative, re-energized political center,” the Times editorial board writes.

Opinion | America Still Has a Political Center, and It’s the Key to Winning

The antidote to our polarized politics is a creative, re-energized political center.

nyti.ms

Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 6h

They’ve recently changed the screening age to 45 since we’re seeing younger and younger cancer diagnoses. I just finished chemo for stage 3 colon cancer and I’m not even 40. Thank you for promoting colonoscopies!

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Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 6h

If I leave the door open, I can see this building from my shower. It rules.

Gemma di Lemma @jinglejangle.bsky.social · 14h

#architecture
Republic Bank, Houston, USA 🇺🇸
Philip Johnson / architect.

Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 18h

Came here to post this lol

Reposted by Emi the Sweary Cook🌵

jen rice @jenrice.bsky.social · 19h

houston: as you may know, there's an important election going on *right now* to fill a seat in congress. this is a big deal. if you live in district 18, the governor has deliberately denied you representation in congress since march. now is your chance to vote. here's some info🧵

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Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 21h

The husband and I still say “Oooh! Rock Block!” to each other years later. No one gets it.

Reposted by Emi the Sweary Cook🌵

MMOC @solarfish.bsky.social · 22h

How is it 5pm today and I'm just now figuring out that early voting started in my county today‽

I am extremely online and didn't know. We're so cooked. Can't wait to see the abysmal turnout numbers for this midterm.

Hey y'all, Early voting is started in TX. Review your ballot and vote!

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Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 21h

Fuck CBS for their capitulation this year, of course. I’m just a really big fan of Rose McIver. She’s about my size and build, and everything that looks good on her works on me too. Half my wardrobe is inspired by her iZombie fits!

Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 21h

First world problems, I know, but fucking cursed streaming services are fucking with me. I have Paramount+ through Amazon (I know, I know) just to watch fucking Ghosts, and even though it’s supposed to be there, Amazon just keeps asking me to buy the season. I should just cancel but ugh!

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Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 1d

Tired: bringing a knife to a gun fight
Wired: bringing a knife to your MRI

A sign in the MRI prep room with objects you cannot take into the MRI room

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Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 1d

MRI isn’t for two hours and I’m already climbing the inside of my skull by my fingernails. Scanxiety is a whole bag of bitch

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Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 1d

I had stage 3 cancer and spent over $25k this year on medical care. If I’d had a catastrophic policy only I’d be bankrupt. My insurance has paid over $200k. Also under 40.

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Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 1d

Oh no! Eardrum perforations hurt so fucking bad. I’m sorry.

Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 1d

Gotta get in the beep boop chugga errrrrk tube again today to make sure there’s no new cancer anywhere and I’m still good. Trying not to climb the walls until the results are in probably tomorrow. 😬

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Reposted by Emi the Sweary Cook🌵

John Skiles Skinner @skiles.blue · 1d

Once when canvassing I asked a voter his #1 concern and it was "yard sales are not enforcing sales tax"

Michael Caley @michaelcaley.bsky.social · 2d

Actual Voters have takes so much wilder than anyone online could imagine

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Reposted by Emi the Sweary Cook🌵

tinybaby @tiny.baby · 1d

people playing music/videos on their phone speakers in public is more than just mildly annoying and is instead a leading indicator of the decline of community and empath

Zach Weinersmith @zachweinersmith.bsky.social · 5d

Do you have any extremely niche, but serious, ethical stances?

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Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 1d

I’m glad I’m taking a break to pay off credit cards before I buy more furniture. The tariff shit is confusing and I don’t want a surprise multi thousand dollar shipping bill after the fact. Living through a spent old man’s fascist whims is fucking exhausting.

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Reposted by Emi the Sweary Cook🌵

lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 2d

your analysis of this political moment is going to fail if you keep using reductionist labels like "wine mom". first of all, there are dozens of factions just within that one term, from whiskey women to chardonnay chicas, and understanding their unique informal coalitions can take decades of study

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Reposted by Emi the Sweary Cook🌵

Jenny Staff Johnson @htownjenny.bsky.social · 3d

Houston #NoKings 📸 by @htownmark.bsky.social

Large crowd, signs like no kings, justice for all, couple of inflatable frogs

Close-up of the head of a large inflatable frog with a crown it

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Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 3d

Of course, those who do want children should absolutely have them and smother them with love. Y’all will do a much better job raising them. And I’ll buy them toys and cool books and shit. I’m only 6 years into being an aunt but apparently my gift game fucks

Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 3d

I decided not to have children early on because I’m not a very patient person and with my history of abuse, I was afraid I would treat a child like I was treated. I wasn’t willing to take the risk. I’m perfectly happy with just me and my husband.

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Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 3d

My mother wouldn’t have had children if she’d grown up thinking that was an option. Motherhood never suited her, and neither did marriage so she was stuck raising two kids she didn’t want all by herself while trying to grow the career she actually wanted. It wasn’t fair.

Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 3d

It’s not that complicated, people. If you don’t want kids, don’t have kids. If you force it because it’s expected of you, you’ll be a shitty parent. Better to not be a parent at all.

The Times & Sunday Times @thetimes.com · 3d

Like many couples, Will Storr and his wife Farrah assumed they would become parents effortlessly. When that didn’t happen, he began a different journey

My wife and I made a decision not to have children. Was it selfish?

www.thetimes.com

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Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 4d

But it heats so efficiently!

Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 4d

I love the pre-peeled garlic. I can see it so I know it isn’t bad, like half the bulbs in the store are