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The ol' ALFer

@theolalfer.bsky.social

800 followers 490 following 5K posts

Stuck on Earth with the humans. That's OK. I like humans. I like their cats better. Not the real ALF, just parody, all respect to Paul Fusco and Alien Productions. Mastodon: @[email protected] Author's personal account: @john-pilgrim.bsky.social

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The ol' ALFer @theolalfer.bsky.social · 7h

This comes to mind... youtube.com/shorts/-MvUB...

Pepto Bismol Gingerbread ad

YouTube video by AdCentral

youtube.com

The ol' ALFer @theolalfer.bsky.social · 8h

BWAHAHAHA... I wonder what I would put on a mixtape for Scougs... 😈

The ol' ALFer @theolalfer.bsky.social · 8h

Well, the laundry basket is extra comfy tonight, and you know what pic I mean, so I think my point is made.

The ol' ALFer @theolalfer.bsky.social · 8h

Are you seriously asking that question?

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The ol' ALFer @theolalfer.bsky.social · 9h

You're gonna make me post that one pic again, aren't you?

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The ol' ALFer @theolalfer.bsky.social · 9h

My daily mantra.

Runa @utterrunacy.bsky.social · 11h

Sometimes all you can do is chuckle. 🤷🏽‍♀️

The ol' ALFer @theolalfer.bsky.social · 9h

Yeah. That's what I look like under the fur. And layer(s) of stored energy.

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The ol' ALFer @theolalfer.bsky.social · 11h

Good. They're pretty soft against raids.

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The ol' ALFer @theolalfer.bsky.social · 11h

Well, who stole them, and where did they take them to? I propose a raid.

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The ol' ALFer @theolalfer.bsky.social · 11h

I am strangely aroused.

The ol' ALFer @theolalfer.bsky.social · 11h

I'm confused. @cousinnudaq.bsky.social did this when they caught him, and he got an extra 30 days for it.

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The ol' ALFer @theolalfer.bsky.social · 17h

Oh, there's never a mystery with cats.

Cats know where Jimmy Hoffa is.

Cats probably buried Jimmy Hoffa.

The ol' ALFer @theolalfer.bsky.social · 18h

I think you get Big Willie energy. Sorta ironic, isn't it? Who said God didn't have a sense of humor?

Riker Googling @rikergoogling.bsky.social · 18h

what happens if you reverse the polarity of big dick energy

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The ol' ALFer @theolalfer.bsky.social · 18h

Hey, Willie - when you're in the fifth dimension, do you square the negative inverse root of pi to ensure your warp bubble stabilization matrix remains in alignment with M'Hyz'rt's Law, or do you just sorta wing it like I do, then lie to the insurance company if something breaks?

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The ol' ALFer @theolalfer.bsky.social · 1d

I DON'T CARE, WILLIE, STOP THE CAR I'M HUNGRY

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The ol' ALFer @theolalfer.bsky.social · 1d

How did the moderators let this through...?

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The ol' ALFer @theolalfer.bsky.social · 1d

I know, right? @replicatorunit.bsky.social's kinda dumb. I keep telling him it's A-L-F, not A-S-S.

The ol' ALFer @theolalfer.bsky.social · 1d

This link is asking me to re-enter my password... ah, looks legit. I mean, Worf sent it, right?

The ol' ALFer @theolalfer.bsky.social · 1d

Tragically, there is a physical limit to what my digestive system can hold.

I mean, just because I haven't found it, doesn't mean there isn't one... right?

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The ol' ALFer @theolalfer.bsky.social · 1d

Wendy's, maybe not. KFC, definitely yes.

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Reposted by The ol' ALFer

ALFsplaining - the ALF Podcast @alfsplaining.bsky.social · 3d

Tomorrow on ALFsplaining:

📺 ALF gets bonked on the noggin!
📺 ALF runs Cosmique Cosmetics!
📺 Brian takes up golf!
📺 Kate and Willie play chess!

Can we explain any of this?

Find out tomorrow at open.spotify.com/show/5PqNWGR...
or
linktr.ee/ALFsplaining

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The ol' ALFer @theolalfer.bsky.social · 1d

I should have won an Emmy for that role. Still chafes me.

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The ol' ALFer @theolalfer.bsky.social · 2d

S'arite, I've already judged Tribble.

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The ol' ALFer @theolalfer.bsky.social · 2d

You didn't skeet enough about it, obvs.

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The ol' ALFer @theolalfer.bsky.social · 2d

Oh, he was offering tickets to see the Mariners. Maybe he found someone.

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