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Halloweean Miles Schlong

@tedcruznipples.com

14K followers 4.2K following 31K posts

Area man, unfortunately Bluesky’s #1 Ken Bone hater in Los Angeles he/him

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · Jan 24

Everything is the dumbest shit I’ve ever seen

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 19h

Congrats man

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 19h

The customer fucking sucks

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 19h

Donald sir, I think you absolutely can get in to Heaven. But the more time you spend here on this Earth, the more you risk fucking that up for yourself. So in my opinion, you best get going.

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 20h

Oh hell no

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 20h

“You know I'm automatically attracted to beautiful. I just start kissing them. It's like a magnet. Just kiss. I don't even wait. And when you're a star they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything."

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 20h

if anybody is good at lip reading or can isolate the audio, I'd be very curious to learn more about what these two were talking about here. it certainly didn't sound on the level.

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 20h

Trump's conversation with Indonesian President Prabowo Subianto is caught on a hot mic. Hard to tell exactly what they are talking about, but Subianto asks Trump about meeting Eric Trump and Don Jr, who supposedly have nothing to do with government while they run the family business.

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 20h

“One thing that didn’t make me question my sanity: incestuous pedophilia. I knew it was the lifestyle for me right from the jump.”

Joel S. @joelhs.bsky.social · 21h

Of course the "Free Press" decided that this is the person the world needs to hear from right now.

"Free Press" headline: "Woody Allen Remembers Diane Keaton"

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 21h

This email could have been a moment where you shut the fuck up

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 21h

🫡

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 21h

Trump is a very depraved man

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 21h

I blame Jon

Reposted by Halloweean Miles Schlong

Jacquie @jmteo.bsky.social · 21h

Me whenever I'm forced to think about Loomer

a bald man with a beard is sitting in a car looking up at the sky .

ALT: a bald man with a beard is sitting in a car looking up at the sky .

media.tenor.com

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 21h

Frankly Jon, if I had to guess, it’s because of all the extramarital sloppy toppy she’s been giving him, as well as the fact that she lets him smash them buns to smithereens.

Jon Cooper @joncooper-us.bsky.social · 23h

Everybody Around Trump Hates the Unhinged Laura Loomer. Except Trump.

She has zero qualifications, zero experience, zero talent except self-promotion. So how’d she get the national security adviser fired?

Everybody Around Trump Hates the Unhinged Laura Loomer. Except Trump.

She has zero qualifications, zero experience, zero talent except self-promotion. So how’d she get the national security adviser fired?

newrepublic.com

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 22h

Trump 2028: I have personality problems and I’m going to Hell

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 22h

Trump: "I don't know what it is. I like the tough people better than I the soft, easy ones. I don't know what the hell that is. That's a personality problem I suspect. But this gentleman from a place called Turkey has one of the most powerful armies in the world... I want to thank President Erdogan"

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 22h

Elves

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 22h

No offense but MTG is dumber than the sack of dog shit I tossed into the dumpster this morning. There’s no strategy here. She’s pissed about some perceived slight and sticking it to Trump.

Ahmed Baba @ahmedbaba.bsky.social · 22h

Marjorie Taylor Greene is one of the only Republicans who sees where this is headed.

Trump is weak. He’s tanking the economy and raising prices. He’s underwater on key issues. The GOP is likely headed to a midterm loss.

This isn’t a moral awakening. MTG is positioning herself for a post-Trump GOP.

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Reposted by Halloweean Miles Schlong

💀 'hyperbolic vituperations' Cryptid 🎃 @bradicality.bsky.social · 1d

This losing season is a lot like a real sick snuff film i saw

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 1d

“Second plane has hit”

🏰meg⚔️ @Birthright Audiobook! @impavid.us · 4d

In honor of spooky month, share a 4 word horror story that only someone in your profession would understand

I'll go first: Six page commercial lease.

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 1d

Bruh? 🤔😂

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 1d

It’s not

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 1d

The worst part about cleaning your apartment is knowing you’re going to have to clean it again in the not too distant future. Frankly, it’s not fair.

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 1d

“a dog walked into an open fire and died” —> “founders fund has the juice” seems like sound logic to me

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 1d

Ooh, that would be awesome

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 1d

She’s joining the cast of Matlock. Calling it now.

Pop Base @popbase.tv · 2d

Taylor Swift will make an exclusive announcement on GMA (Good Morning America) tomorrow, October 13th

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 1d

It makes no sense. We all know the baldness can come for us at any time

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 1d

I’m calling bullshit on this commercial where the guy says he stopped hanging out with his friends because they were making wisecracks about his thinning hair. For all our faults, men don’t make fun of other men for thinning hair — it just doesn’t happen.

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