samantha morgan (i’m kidding)
@sammorgancomedy.bsky.social
LA standup comedian & writerer. smart, dumb, and stoney✨
I’m thirsty: buymeacoffee.com/sammorgancomedy
I’m thirsty: buymeacoffee.com/sammorgancomedy
Reposted by samantha morgan (i’m kidding)
If they just took up crochet instead of ruining our lives it would all be FINE but f*ck crochet I guess. ❤️
All super rich guys sound the same now. It’s all “I sleep four hours a night and spend the other twenty hours a day developing a product that’s going to bring us the best widespread poverty anyone’s ever seen.”
December 4, 2025 at 9:51 PM
If they just took up crochet instead of ruining our lives it would all be FINE but f*ck crochet I guess. ❤️
If they just took up crochet instead of ruining our lives it would all be FINE but f*ck crochet I guess. ❤️
All super rich guys sound the same now. It’s all “I sleep four hours a night and spend the other twenty hours a day developing a product that’s going to bring us the best widespread poverty anyone’s ever seen.”
December 4, 2025 at 9:51 PM
If they just took up crochet instead of ruining our lives it would all be FINE but f*ck crochet I guess. ❤️
“Rocket Man” is annoying. Sorry Elton 💋
December 4, 2025 at 9:49 PM
“Rocket Man” is annoying. Sorry Elton 💋
Reposted by samantha morgan (i’m kidding)
life became cost prohibitive once the free trial expired
December 4, 2025 at 5:00 PM
life became cost prohibitive once the free trial expired
Reposted by samantha morgan (i’m kidding)
F*cking hell.
December 4, 2025 at 4:35 PM
F*cking hell.
Reposted by samantha morgan (i’m kidding)
I refuse to participate in Spotify wrapped this year.
It’s none of ur DAMN business how much I listen to Barry Manalow.
It’s none of ur DAMN business how much I listen to Barry Manalow.
December 3, 2025 at 7:08 PM
I refuse to participate in Spotify wrapped this year.
It’s none of ur DAMN business how much I listen to Barry Manalow.
It’s none of ur DAMN business how much I listen to Barry Manalow.
Reposted by samantha morgan (i’m kidding)
🖤 Black Friday: “THE BEST SALE OF THE YEAR!”
🤖 Cyber Monday: “we extended the BEST SALE OF THE YEAR!!!”
💨 regular Tuesday: “TAKE AN EXTRA 15 (!!!!) PERCENT OFF THE EXTENSION OF THE BEST SALE OF THE YEAR !!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH”
🤖 Cyber Monday: “we extended the BEST SALE OF THE YEAR!!!”
💨 regular Tuesday: “TAKE AN EXTRA 15 (!!!!) PERCENT OFF THE EXTENSION OF THE BEST SALE OF THE YEAR !!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH”
December 2, 2025 at 5:55 PM
🖤 Black Friday: “THE BEST SALE OF THE YEAR!”
🤖 Cyber Monday: “we extended the BEST SALE OF THE YEAR!!!”
💨 regular Tuesday: “TAKE AN EXTRA 15 (!!!!) PERCENT OFF THE EXTENSION OF THE BEST SALE OF THE YEAR !!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH”
🤖 Cyber Monday: “we extended the BEST SALE OF THE YEAR!!!”
💨 regular Tuesday: “TAKE AN EXTRA 15 (!!!!) PERCENT OFF THE EXTENSION OF THE BEST SALE OF THE YEAR !!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH”
I refuse to participate in Spotify wrapped this year.
It’s none of ur DAMN business how much I listen to Barry Manalow.
It’s none of ur DAMN business how much I listen to Barry Manalow.
December 3, 2025 at 7:08 PM
I refuse to participate in Spotify wrapped this year.
It’s none of ur DAMN business how much I listen to Barry Manalow.
It’s none of ur DAMN business how much I listen to Barry Manalow.
When I wanna look like the lumpy stuffed animal that’s in the garage somewhere. ❤️
this is for when you want to look like you did in that one weird dream
December 2, 2025 at 6:42 PM
When I wanna look like the lumpy stuffed animal that’s in the garage somewhere. ❤️
Reposted by samantha morgan (i’m kidding)
this is for when you want to look like you did in that one weird dream
December 2, 2025 at 3:35 PM
this is for when you want to look like you did in that one weird dream
Reposted by samantha morgan (i’m kidding)
Tomorrow should be
Why are you emailing me again Wednesday?!
Why are you emailing me again Wednesday?!
🖤 Black Friday: “THE BEST SALE OF THE YEAR!”
🤖 Cyber Monday: “we extended the BEST SALE OF THE YEAR!!!”
💨 regular Tuesday: “TAKE AN EXTRA 15 (!!!!) PERCENT OFF THE EXTENSION OF THE BEST SALE OF THE YEAR !!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH”
🤖 Cyber Monday: “we extended the BEST SALE OF THE YEAR!!!”
💨 regular Tuesday: “TAKE AN EXTRA 15 (!!!!) PERCENT OFF THE EXTENSION OF THE BEST SALE OF THE YEAR !!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH”
December 2, 2025 at 6:34 PM
Tomorrow should be
Why are you emailing me again Wednesday?!
Why are you emailing me again Wednesday?!
🖤 Black Friday: “THE BEST SALE OF THE YEAR!”
🤖 Cyber Monday: “we extended the BEST SALE OF THE YEAR!!!”
💨 regular Tuesday: “TAKE AN EXTRA 15 (!!!!) PERCENT OFF THE EXTENSION OF THE BEST SALE OF THE YEAR !!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH”
🤖 Cyber Monday: “we extended the BEST SALE OF THE YEAR!!!”
💨 regular Tuesday: “TAKE AN EXTRA 15 (!!!!) PERCENT OFF THE EXTENSION OF THE BEST SALE OF THE YEAR !!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH”
December 2, 2025 at 5:55 PM
🖤 Black Friday: “THE BEST SALE OF THE YEAR!”
🤖 Cyber Monday: “we extended the BEST SALE OF THE YEAR!!!”
💨 regular Tuesday: “TAKE AN EXTRA 15 (!!!!) PERCENT OFF THE EXTENSION OF THE BEST SALE OF THE YEAR !!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH”
🤖 Cyber Monday: “we extended the BEST SALE OF THE YEAR!!!”
💨 regular Tuesday: “TAKE AN EXTRA 15 (!!!!) PERCENT OFF THE EXTENSION OF THE BEST SALE OF THE YEAR !!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH”
I have a PhD in Microsoft paint 🎨 ❤️
November 29, 2025 at 12:42 AM
I have a PhD in Microsoft paint 🎨 ❤️
three more followers and I’ll have my grade point average from fall semester of junior year ❤️
November 25, 2025 at 4:35 PM
three more followers and I’ll have my grade point average from fall semester of junior year ❤️
Reposted by samantha morgan (i’m kidding)
OH. COME. ON.
November 24, 2025 at 1:27 PM
OH. COME. ON.
We need to bring back the pillow mint ❤️
November 21, 2025 at 11:50 PM
We need to bring back the pillow mint ❤️
brb eating a Hawaiian roll ❤️
November 21, 2025 at 11:06 PM
brb eating a Hawaiian roll ❤️
Declutterring tip I found on the inter webs:
Imagine all your belongings have poop on them and then only keep what you would want to salvage from the poop. ❤️
Honestly solid?
Imagine all your belongings have poop on them and then only keep what you would want to salvage from the poop. ❤️
Honestly solid?
November 21, 2025 at 9:23 PM
Declutterring tip I found on the inter webs:
Imagine all your belongings have poop on them and then only keep what you would want to salvage from the poop. ❤️
Honestly solid?
Imagine all your belongings have poop on them and then only keep what you would want to salvage from the poop. ❤️
Honestly solid?
Tap dancing doesn’t make any sense to me ❤️
November 21, 2025 at 12:18 AM
Tap dancing doesn’t make any sense to me ❤️
i miss Prince 💜
November 20, 2025 at 5:56 PM
i miss Prince 💜
Diseased sinus: a new fragrance by Chanel ✨
November 18, 2025 at 7:13 PM
Diseased sinus: a new fragrance by Chanel ✨
Reposted by samantha morgan (i’m kidding)
