Paul Ockenden
@ockenden.com
Ex PC Pro columnist. Ex-owner of one of the UK's first digital agencies. Now happily retired. I was once famous for missing deadlines, now I don’t miss them at all!
Based in Shoreham-by-Sea (between Brighton and Worthing) in West Sussex, UK.
Based in Shoreham-by-Sea (between Brighton and Worthing) in West Sussex, UK.
Here's a thing: When it comes to awards, service levels, etc., you often get bronze, silver and gold. But sometimes there's also platinum, and it always sits higher than gold.
Yet, for at least A DECADE now, gold has been more valuable than platinum.
Yet, for at least A DECADE now, gold has been more valuable than platinum.
February 6, 2026 at 11:06 PM
Here's a thing: When it comes to awards, service levels, etc., you often get bronze, silver and gold. But sometimes there's also platinum, and it always sits higher than gold.
Yet, for at least A DECADE now, gold has been more valuable than platinum.
Yet, for at least A DECADE now, gold has been more valuable than platinum.
Reposted by Paul Ockenden
People who say they're 'minded' to do something come across like an absolute cunt. There are no exceptions to this rule.
February 6, 2026 at 12:47 PM
People who say they're 'minded' to do something come across like an absolute cunt. There are no exceptions to this rule.
Reposted by Paul Ockenden
Farage says, "this is far bigger than the Profumo Scandal..."
Well he would, wouldn't he?
Well he would, wouldn't he?
February 5, 2026 at 7:09 PM
Farage says, "this is far bigger than the Profumo Scandal..."
Well he would, wouldn't he?
Well he would, wouldn't he?
Lots of fuss about Mandelson, and rightly so.
But what nobody mentions is that he actually appeared to function well as the US ambassador.
OK, probably because of what he had in common with tRump, but the choice of him in the job wasn’t /quite/ as stupid as people are making out. Almost.
But what nobody mentions is that he actually appeared to function well as the US ambassador.
OK, probably because of what he had in common with tRump, but the choice of him in the job wasn’t /quite/ as stupid as people are making out. Almost.
February 5, 2026 at 5:00 PM
Lots of fuss about Mandelson, and rightly so.
But what nobody mentions is that he actually appeared to function well as the US ambassador.
OK, probably because of what he had in common with tRump, but the choice of him in the job wasn’t /quite/ as stupid as people are making out. Almost.
But what nobody mentions is that he actually appeared to function well as the US ambassador.
OK, probably because of what he had in common with tRump, but the choice of him in the job wasn’t /quite/ as stupid as people are making out. Almost.
Meanwhile, over on Arsebook, they are selling kids!
February 4, 2026 at 10:31 PM
Meanwhile, over on Arsebook, they are selling kids!
Reposted by Paul Ockenden
Sorry to soil my timeline but this did make me laugh…you?
Took me a moment…
Greg Bovino was asked how he felt about his demotion today. "Well, obviously, I'm not happy", he replied. Someone in the crowd shouted back, "So which one are you?"
Took me a moment…
Greg Bovino was asked how he felt about his demotion today. "Well, obviously, I'm not happy", he replied. Someone in the crowd shouted back, "So which one are you?"
January 29, 2026 at 7:43 PM
Sorry to soil my timeline but this did make me laugh…you?
Took me a moment…
Greg Bovino was asked how he felt about his demotion today. "Well, obviously, I'm not happy", he replied. Someone in the crowd shouted back, "So which one are you?"
Took me a moment…
Greg Bovino was asked how he felt about his demotion today. "Well, obviously, I'm not happy", he replied. Someone in the crowd shouted back, "So which one are you?"
Fascinating. Well worth a watch.
January 29, 2026 at 8:28 PM
Fascinating. Well worth a watch.
Genuine massive LOL at this.
My favourite Mark Rothko is 'POV Claudia Winkleman visits Antarctica (1969)' www.artsy.net/artwork/mark...
Mark Rothko | Untitled (Black on Gray) (1969) | Artsy
From Anderson Collection at Stanford University, Mark Rothko, Untitled (Black on Gray) (1969), Acrylic on canvas, 93 × 76 1/8 in
www.artsy.net
January 27, 2026 at 5:39 PM
Genuine massive LOL at this.
Reposted by Paul Ockenden
Liz Truss waiting patiently by her phone for Reform to ring, not realising it's actually a penguin biscuit
January 26, 2026 at 12:34 PM
Liz Truss waiting patiently by her phone for Reform to ring, not realising it's actually a penguin biscuit
Reposted by Paul Ockenden
Advert for some historical recreation thing on Channel 5 with "AI Generated" written at the bottom, like saying it is makes it all ok. Perhaps TOTP can do the same, just stick a sign in the corner saying "Paedophile" and play the Gary Glitter episodes.
January 25, 2026 at 12:47 PM
Advert for some historical recreation thing on Channel 5 with "AI Generated" written at the bottom, like saying it is makes it all ok. Perhaps TOTP can do the same, just stick a sign in the corner saying "Paedophile" and play the Gary Glitter episodes.
Reposted by Paul Ockenden
24th Jan is the birthday of both @adrianedmondson.bsky.social and the Emperor Hadrian.
Ladies and Gentlemen we give you.....
...Hadrian Edmondson. 😳😐
Ladies and Gentlemen we give you.....
...Hadrian Edmondson. 😳😐
January 24, 2026 at 10:48 AM
24th Jan is the birthday of both @adrianedmondson.bsky.social and the Emperor Hadrian.
Ladies and Gentlemen we give you.....
...Hadrian Edmondson. 😳😐
Ladies and Gentlemen we give you.....
...Hadrian Edmondson. 😳😐
Reposted by Paul Ockenden
Hey, funny story. Penguins live around the South Pole. You almost couldn’t get further away from Greenland (on the surface of the Earth) if you tried. Really demonstrates the level of knowledge the Trump administration has about the country it thinks it should annex.
January 24, 2026 at 3:28 AM
Hey, funny story. Penguins live around the South Pole. You almost couldn’t get further away from Greenland (on the surface of the Earth) if you tried. Really demonstrates the level of knowledge the Trump administration has about the country it thinks it should annex.
Can someone test Trump's weewee please. I think the old fella must have a UTI. Over the years I've known several geriatric people who've behaved oddly with a urine infection. It's quite common in the old and infirm.
January 20, 2026 at 2:10 PM
Can someone test Trump's weewee please. I think the old fella must have a UTI. Over the years I've known several geriatric people who've behaved oddly with a urine infection. It's quite common in the old and infirm.
Reposted by Paul Ockenden
Fairly sure it’s unintentional, but the end date on this mug being sold by the Smithsonian does make it sound a little like they’re saying America dies in 2026…
January 19, 2026 at 9:04 PM
Fairly sure it’s unintentional, but the end date on this mug being sold by the Smithsonian does make it sound a little like they’re saying America dies in 2026…
Reposted by Paul Ockenden
"And we now have María on the line who would like to swap a Nobel Peace Prize for the presidency of Venezuela..."
January 16, 2026 at 10:29 AM
"And we now have María on the line who would like to swap a Nobel Peace Prize for the presidency of Venezuela..."
From my local paper. Isn’t this the very definition of a council house?
January 16, 2026 at 3:19 PM
From my local paper. Isn’t this the very definition of a council house?
It’s a bit worrying when reporting a fraudulent transaction via your bank’s online help facility, and the person you are speaking to sounds just like a fraudster!
January 9, 2026 at 2:36 PM
It’s a bit worrying when reporting a fraudulent transaction via your bank’s online help facility, and the person you are speaking to sounds just like a fraudster!
Reposted by Paul Ockenden
The mask dropped sometime ago, but the true face of the brutality of the Trump administration and their lickspittles screams louder every day and remember Farage is made in this image #poetry #reneegood #politics #justice #farage
January 9, 2026 at 9:23 AM
The mask dropped sometime ago, but the true face of the brutality of the Trump administration and their lickspittles screams louder every day and remember Farage is made in this image #poetry #reneegood #politics #justice #farage
Reposted by Paul Ockenden
Listening to the rebroadcast if the 1970s Bowie prog on 6 music. They cut out his 2HB "that's a pun" comment from the original!
January 4, 2026 at 12:49 PM
Listening to the rebroadcast if the 1970s Bowie prog on 6 music. They cut out his 2HB "that's a pun" comment from the original!
Reposted by Paul Ockenden
This risks undermining the dignity and stature of the FIFA peace prize
January 3, 2026 at 9:37 AM
This risks undermining the dignity and stature of the FIFA peace prize
Reposted by Paul Ockenden
It bears repeating: music lovers use their hi-fi to listen to music. Audiophiles use music to listen to their hi-fi.
January 2, 2026 at 12:55 PM
It bears repeating: music lovers use their hi-fi to listen to music. Audiophiles use music to listen to their hi-fi.
London fireworks were great, but why add those stupid video overlays? They aren’t real. People there don’t see them. The fireworks stand on their own without that nonsense.
(Maybe some people watching really believe the London Eye can turn into a giant telly).
Oh, and Happy New Year!
(Maybe some people watching really believe the London Eye can turn into a giant telly).
Oh, and Happy New Year!
January 1, 2026 at 12:20 AM
London fireworks were great, but why add those stupid video overlays? They aren’t real. People there don’t see them. The fireworks stand on their own without that nonsense.
(Maybe some people watching really believe the London Eye can turn into a giant telly).
Oh, and Happy New Year!
(Maybe some people watching really believe the London Eye can turn into a giant telly).
Oh, and Happy New Year!
As a boomer I’m supposed to moan that everything is worse these days. And sure, many things are. But not Twiglets.
The modern ones are MUCH nicer than those from a few decades ago. They are lighter, crisper, yet still have the same flavour. Well done Jacobs!
The modern ones are MUCH nicer than those from a few decades ago. They are lighter, crisper, yet still have the same flavour. Well done Jacobs!
December 28, 2025 at 10:43 PM
As a boomer I’m supposed to moan that everything is worse these days. And sure, many things are. But not Twiglets.
The modern ones are MUCH nicer than those from a few decades ago. They are lighter, crisper, yet still have the same flavour. Well done Jacobs!
The modern ones are MUCH nicer than those from a few decades ago. They are lighter, crisper, yet still have the same flavour. Well done Jacobs!