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Keith Taylor

@mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social

1.5K followers 360 following 5.6K posts

Bestselling author of This Is the Way the World Ends: an Oral History of the Zombie War: http://amzn.to/3O6xBWm Anti-Brexit and pro-Free Movement. Denizen of Mongolia Posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7bv2ca3yawj662o7qxd5xyt7/feed/aaak2agiw6iwg

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · Apr 4

Apropos of absolutely nothing at all, my novel This Is the Way the World Ends: an Oral History of the Zombie War contains lots of valuable tips to help you survive the collapse of society.

I mean... most of the tips are zombie related, but they're transferable.

www.amazon.com/This-Way-Wor...

The front cover of This Is the Way the World Ends: an Oral History of the Zombie War, a novel by Keith Taylor. It depicts a bleached skull half buried in sand beneath a cloudy sky

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 11h

Congrats :) It's a real bastard of a time to lose that much.

Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 11h

Best used as a general guide rather than a hard limit on the individual level. I look healthy, but going by BMI I'm a touch overweight because I lift heavy things for fun. I could lose 50lbs before dipping out of the 'normal' zone. That would take me *below* 0% body fat. I'd be dead.

Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 11h

It is, however, exactly the kind of thing you'd expect from someone so dull and empty they have to outsource their imagination to a machine.

Reposted by Keith Taylor

mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 1d

I thought my office kitchen playlist had gone really off the rails because I distinctly heard Stayin' Alive by the Bee Gees but it turns out someone's just learning CPR in the conference room

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 20h

In our exciting new reality a US military sniper will get himself killed because his AI spotter keeps telling him his aim is “right there, baby, don’t stop” while making loud, robotic orgasm sounds like Neo getting throated by that mirror

Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 21h

It’s 9:40AM in Mongolia. Maybe you accidentally switched into my time zone. Sometimes twisting your pinkie finger in your ear (clockwise) can help reset you to the correct zone.

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 1d

Trump’s neck dimple goes all the way down.

Enjoy the image.

Reposted by Keith Taylor

wargen @funeralpig.bsky.social · 1d

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. One for practice and the other one is the "main" grave.

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 1d

In my salad days I smoked and ate junk food and drank every night. Now I eat salads.

Anyway, I’m suing @merriam-webster.com. This is false… word… thing.

Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 1d

Labour could serve the interests of the UK and its voters, or they could give it to Farage. Abandon this tired argument. Voters aren't hostages.

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 1d

There's nothing better than a long, confusing, run-on sentence full of clauses that almost break your brain, struggling as you must to work out if the punctuation makes sense before realising that it doesn't, and needn't, because it's the poetry of it that matters. Then a short sentence for dessert.

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 1d

Coffee cake was just liquids evening up the score.

Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 1d

Yay, fixed it! When my landlord told me it would be 24hrs before he could get someone out to dismantle the mechanism I made the sensible, measured, adult decision to balance on a windowsill 13 floors up and just beat the fuck out of it until it gave in.

Windows are my bitch.

Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 1d

Managed to lock a tilt and turn window in my bedroom in the wrong position due to my own stupidity, leaving it locked but stuck tilted open. Need a pro to access the cams to reset them. Nobody available until tomorrow.

Tonight will be -11°C and snowy. Fuck.

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 1d

Same. A Labour Party that can accept Brexit is a Labour Party that will never again have my vote. I don't care what political calculations they make to justify it.

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 1d

Labour should have been doing that since the moment they took power. The framing should have been that Starmer had to come in to fix Farage's mess.

Of course that approach was ruled out when Starmer was advised to turn off his brain and draw thick red lines across every fuckin' surface.

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 1d

A+. I’ve lost count of the number of times reviewers have held me personally responsible for the opinions and actions of people I made up in my head.

Reposted by Keith Taylor

Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 2d

could a depressed person do this?

[eats a third bagel]

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 2d

If it makes it any better I love the *smell* of tea. Just can't get on board with the taste.

Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 2d

I live alone and don't drink coffee, tea or any other hot drinks, and yet I own eight mugs because I'm an adult and that's the law.

David Veevers @davidveevers.bsky.social · 3d

My household consists of 2 adults and 2 kids yet we own 31 tea mugs.

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 2d

Yes, this is one issue that doesn't particularly worry me (not having a uterus helps, of course). Very few of the overtly religious Brits close to me have ever suggested they're all that concerned about abortion, and almost all of them think Farage is a scumbag. I don't see a potential coalition.

Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 2d

Margaret Thatcher would have celebrated her 100th birthday today. Fortunately she’s dead.

Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 2d

Mine vanished in the pub the other week. Turns out a friend picked it up and took it home to her ger on the Mongolian steppe. So maybe start there?

Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 2d

Sorrysgiving seems to come around faster every year

Cap’n Watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 2d

Sorry I missed Canadian thanksgiving again. Sorry. Sorry. Anyway, sorry.