Keith Taylor
@mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social
Bestselling author of This Is the Way the World Ends: an Oral History of the Zombie War: http://amzn.to/3O6xBWm
Anti-Brexit and pro-Free Movement. Denizen of Mongolia
Posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7bv2ca3yawj662o7qxd5xyt7/feed/aaak2agiw6iwg
Anti-Brexit and pro-Free Movement. Denizen of Mongolia
Posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7bv2ca3yawj662o7qxd5xyt7/feed/aaak2agiw6iwg
Pinned
Apropos of absolutely nothing at all, my novel This Is the Way the World Ends: an Oral History of the Zombie War contains lots of valuable tips to help you survive the collapse of society.
I mean... most of the tips are zombie related, but they're transferable.
www.amazon.com/This-Way-Wor...
I mean... most of the tips are zombie related, but they're transferable.
www.amazon.com/This-Way-Wor...
Reposted by Keith Taylor
People are temporary. The emotional damage from a good plot twist is forever.
December 2, 2025 at 8:04 PM
People are temporary. The emotional damage from a good plot twist is forever.
Reposted by Keith Taylor
New at Burger King: the Unspeakable Meal, orderable via grim nod
December 1, 2025 at 7:57 PM
New at Burger King: the Unspeakable Meal, orderable via grim nod
As we’re approaching the season it’s important to once again remember that in the book there was only one Marley. To avoid embarrassment please remember to correctly code shift based on whether you’re talking to a fan of reading or a fan of the Muppets.
December 2, 2025 at 2:14 AM
As we’re approaching the season it’s important to once again remember that in the book there was only one Marley. To avoid embarrassment please remember to correctly code shift based on whether you’re talking to a fan of reading or a fan of the Muppets.
Long-sighted people can only do far off magic. Is this your card over there?
December 1, 2025 at 10:30 PM
Long-sighted people can only do far off magic. Is this your card over there?
Reposted by Keith Taylor
I always find the guy at the local cheese shop grating.
December 1, 2025 at 5:32 PM
I always find the guy at the local cheese shop grating.
Reposted by Keith Taylor
Expanding my capacity to receive by punching a few more belt notches
December 1, 2025 at 7:38 PM
Expanding my capacity to receive by punching a few more belt notches
Reposted by Keith Taylor
Breaking the delivery robot open like a crab and eating the insides.
December 1, 2025 at 8:05 PM
Breaking the delivery robot open like a crab and eating the insides.
Reposted by Keith Taylor
my doctor wrote down that I'm incredibly strong. perhaps even the strongest person who ever lived
December 1, 2025 at 10:13 PM
my doctor wrote down that I'm incredibly strong. perhaps even the strongest person who ever lived
Reposted by Keith Taylor
Crypto Leaders Call For Infusion Of 20 Million Dopes To Stabilize Market
Crypto Leaders Call For Infusion Of 20 Million Dopes To Stabilize Market
BOSTON—Stressing that the move would help keep digital currencies liquid through the coming year, crypto leaders called for an infusion of 20 million dopes Thursday to stabilize the market. “We’re cal...
theonion.com
December 1, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Crypto Leaders Call For Infusion Of 20 Million Dopes To Stabilize Market
Pound-Foolish rocking up in Derry in his makeup and big shoes ready to fuck shit up
December 1, 2025 at 3:59 PM
Pound-Foolish rocking up in Derry in his makeup and big shoes ready to fuck shit up
To be fair this 'kill them all' thing is just an honest mistake that happens when, instead of hiring an honourable career officer with an understanding of the law, a firm grasp of military strategy and a deep appreciation of the unfortunate and unavoidable moral weight of warfare, you hire a cunt.
December 1, 2025 at 1:05 PM
To be fair this 'kill them all' thing is just an honest mistake that happens when, instead of hiring an honourable career officer with an understanding of the law, a firm grasp of military strategy and a deep appreciation of the unfortunate and unavoidable moral weight of warfare, you hire a cunt.
Reposted by Keith Taylor
do we think Ben Whishaw struggles to date because of how weird it must be to sleep with someone who has Paddington's voice
December 1, 2025 at 12:03 PM
do we think Ben Whishaw struggles to date because of how weird it must be to sleep with someone who has Paddington's voice
Hit the 'saved' tab if you want a reminder of all the posts you tried to like while drunk.
December 1, 2025 at 11:10 AM
Hit the 'saved' tab if you want a reminder of all the posts you tried to like while drunk.
I was hoping that turning down a request for a date with someone eyewateringly beautiful but problematically young would feel more virtuous than this. Where's my 'reluctantly not a creep' medal?
December 1, 2025 at 10:31 AM
I was hoping that turning down a request for a date with someone eyewateringly beautiful but problematically young would feel more virtuous than this. Where's my 'reluctantly not a creep' medal?
Woke up to a Facebook message from someone I briefly dated 25 years ago and haven't spoken with in 17 years that read "I always find it comforting that you still look like Kyle MacLachlan through any age".
This is the best thing you can say to a middle-aged man. Thank you kindly, Siobhan.
This is the best thing you can say to a middle-aged man. Thank you kindly, Siobhan.
December 1, 2025 at 1:27 AM
Woke up to a Facebook message from someone I briefly dated 25 years ago and haven't spoken with in 17 years that read "I always find it comforting that you still look like Kyle MacLachlan through any age".
This is the best thing you can say to a middle-aged man. Thank you kindly, Siobhan.
This is the best thing you can say to a middle-aged man. Thank you kindly, Siobhan.
Reposted by Keith Taylor
When I was a kid, my grandpa caught me out back smoking a brisket, so he made me cater an entire wedding
December 1, 2025 at 12:03 AM
When I was a kid, my grandpa caught me out back smoking a brisket, so he made me cater an entire wedding
Reposted by Keith Taylor
I saw a Cybertruck driver use a turn signal correctly today. He also used it incorrectly but the point is that who knew they even have them
November 30, 2025 at 3:50 PM
I saw a Cybertruck driver use a turn signal correctly today. He also used it incorrectly but the point is that who knew they even have them
Reposted by Keith Taylor
walking with my hands behind my back so people think i am wise
November 30, 2025 at 3:51 PM
walking with my hands behind my back so people think i am wise
RoboCop, but the only part of Alex Murphy's body that could be salvaged was the butt
November 30, 2025 at 10:02 AM
RoboCop, but the only part of Alex Murphy's body that could be salvaged was the butt
The last three women who hit on me were all either married or in a 1year+ relationship, and I can't help but wonder what the fuck kind of weird pro-infidelity energy I'm putting out to make this the case. I'm getting dead silence from women I like who are actually available.
November 30, 2025 at 7:25 AM
The last three women who hit on me were all either married or in a 1year+ relationship, and I can't help but wonder what the fuck kind of weird pro-infidelity energy I'm putting out to make this the case. I'm getting dead silence from women I like who are actually available.
Reposted by Keith Taylor
yeah i'm a cam girl (the cam is short for "camembert")
November 28, 2025 at 4:13 AM
yeah i'm a cam girl (the cam is short for "camembert")
Reposted by Keith Taylor
You really could just put a tight camera on John Candy with nothing but him and the driver's seat of a car in frame and then watch him almost wordlessly do five of the funniest minutes in the history of movies.
a man smoking a cigarette in a car with planes trains and automobiles on the bottom right
ALT: a man smoking a cigarette in a car with planes trains and automobiles on the bottom right
media.tenor.com
November 27, 2025 at 5:31 AM
You really could just put a tight camera on John Candy with nothing but him and the driver's seat of a car in frame and then watch him almost wordlessly do five of the funniest minutes in the history of movies.
Reposted by Keith Taylor
hittin my family with some new laughs this season. going to try out a single, loud “ha!” to start
November 25, 2025 at 11:40 PM
hittin my family with some new laughs this season. going to try out a single, loud “ha!” to start
Reposted by Keith Taylor
At my in-laws for Thanksgiving and it’s crystal clear I’m the strongest guy here. My wife has one uncle who played football but when I threw his walker over the stream behind their house, everyone agreed I can’t be stopped. Alpha.
November 26, 2025 at 12:32 AM
At my in-laws for Thanksgiving and it’s crystal clear I’m the strongest guy here. My wife has one uncle who played football but when I threw his walker over the stream behind their house, everyone agreed I can’t be stopped. Alpha.
Reposted by Keith Taylor
*pronounces tomatoes like comatose*
November 26, 2025 at 12:10 AM
*pronounces tomatoes like comatose*