Joni Baloni 🐈💨
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kielbasanova.bsky.social
Joni Baloni 🐈💨
@kielbasanova.bsky.social
After seeing "The Lost Boys" the first time, I couldn't wait to be an adult so I could have my own snack shelf in the fridge that no one is allowed to touch.
November 25, 2025 at 3:59 AM
When you walk in and interrupt them talking about you.
November 25, 2025 at 3:49 AM
Seems like everyone's taking Ozempic lately but my Dr said I have to "eat right" and "exercise". This is fckin bullshit.
November 25, 2025 at 12:21 AM
I enjoy learning about the hierarchy in various types of workplaces. This weekend I found out in comedy it's:

Host/Opener: "I took the bus here."
Feature: "I drove here."
Headliner: "I flew here."
November 24, 2025 at 5:01 PM
As if Mondays aren't already bad enough, I have the Hamm's beer jingle stuck in my head today. "From the land of sky blue waters...."
November 24, 2025 at 4:17 PM
Reposted by Joni Baloni 🐈💨
I dont knowhow to talk to people who think AI is harmless and amusing
November 24, 2025 at 1:52 PM
A line from The Great Muppet Caper you don't really relate to until you're older is in the beginning credits when Gonzo talks about how tempting it is to jump from the hot air balloon and plummet to the ground.
November 23, 2025 at 11:44 PM
Reposted by Joni Baloni 🐈💨
Seeing A Clockwork Orange when I was like 10 is why I'm like this.
November 23, 2025 at 8:34 PM
Reposted by Joni Baloni 🐈💨
November 23, 2025 at 11:03 PM
An astrologer trying to tell me about myself:
November 23, 2025 at 11:15 PM
Them: My body is a temple.

Me:
November 23, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Reposted by Joni Baloni 🐈💨
A group chat for people who struggle with negative self talk but love to build other people up.
November 22, 2025 at 8:24 PM
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are you black friday because what's the deal bro
November 23, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Reposted by Joni Baloni 🐈💨
Luke violated the Prime Directive by tricking the Ewoks into thinking C3PO was a deity
November 23, 2025 at 6:47 PM
I'll write you a love poem, but it'll probably sound like Dr. Seuss wants to fck you.
November 23, 2025 at 7:15 PM
Helpful Holiday Hint: Give the most annoying family member a ride to the gathering so no one will be upset when you leave early.
November 23, 2025 at 6:03 PM
My Grandpa taught me how to drive, but pretty sure countless hours of playing Atari Night Driver is why I've never crashed into a tree or a house.
November 23, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Apartment life is great because no one in our family wants to walk up 4 flights of stairs, so we never have to host for Thanksgiving or Christmas.
November 23, 2025 at 5:39 PM
Did your Mom ever talk Jehovah's Witnesses that showed up on her doorstep into babysitting her kids while she went "to the store", or was she not an alcoholic?
November 23, 2025 at 9:58 AM
Reposted by Joni Baloni 🐈💨
one way i harness anxiety is by allowing it to make me 10 minutes early for everything
November 22, 2025 at 8:19 PM
without downloading new pics, what is it like dating you?
November 22, 2025 at 6:17 PM
Reading RFK Jr's love poem makes me want to stop giving blow jobs.
November 22, 2025 at 5:53 PM
"OWmyfuckingmotherfuckerfuckmejesuschrist!!" - me, stubbing my toe.
November 22, 2025 at 6:36 AM
Do I really need to order this or am I just depressed?
November 22, 2025 at 3:48 AM
Sometimes my refrigerator sounds like a Wookie in labor. Probably all good, right?
November 21, 2025 at 11:09 PM