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Hermshu

@hermshu.bsky.social

1.7K followers 400 following 4.3K posts

How are you? I’m fine. Search Hermshu on streamers for a bad time

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Hermshu @hermshu.bsky.social · Nov 6

The good news is we’re all going to die one day.

Hermshu @hermshu.bsky.social · 7h

Choose your Crest capitalism anxiety challenge.

A supermarket aisle with an absurd variety of Crest toothpastes on the shelves, such as Crest with Scope, Crest Whitening, etc.

Hermshu @hermshu.bsky.social · 8h

Who else is regretting their lost and wasted youth?

Hermshu @hermshu.bsky.social · 10h

Sally Jenkins: “Eva Braun was a #GirlBoss”

Reposted by Hermshu

Truckstop Vigilante @brenthor.bsky.social · Jun 5

You, 6ft tall, full head of hair: i cant get into these crevices im too big and they snag my hair.

Me, 5'6 and bald, emerging from a crevice: yeah I wouldn't know, man

Reposted by Hermshu

Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 1d

In 1980, my mom invented the double bow for shoe tying and revolutionized babysitting.

Hermshu @hermshu.bsky.social · 11h

Special underwear that sends a notification to your phone when you piss or shit yourself. 💡

Hermshu @hermshu.bsky.social · 13h

They’re weary from the Thumb Wars.

Hermshu @hermshu.bsky.social · 13h

My thumbs aren’t strong enough to post in two places.

Hermshu @hermshu.bsky.social · 15h

I had constructed the perfect skeet in my mind, one that would cut through the lies and put us all in a brand new paradigm in which we would create a better world together, but I saw a cute video of a donkey and I forgot it. So instead I offer this: Chesty Cheetah.

Reposted by Hermshu

TeenagePhlebotomy @teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social · 16h

Hot dog not wrong.

Image of a person in a hot dog suit on a grass field. The hot dog is pointing. There's a speech bubble coming from the hot dog's mouth. It says, "Well I think you're all lips and assholes."

Hermshu @hermshu.bsky.social · 1d

I only stand for Take Me Out To The Ball Game.

Reposted by Hermshu

Alex Degen (Magic Serple 2025) @adactivity.bsky.social · 1d

It’s all happening on x dot com where I do my banking

Hermshu @hermshu.bsky.social · 2d

The Last of Sauce, starring Pesto Pascal

You know what? I think I’m done with posting for a while.

Hermshu @hermshu.bsky.social · 2d

*nerd voice* Um, you forgot to put on your sunscreen ☝️

Hermshu @hermshu.bsky.social · 2d

My man has been living it up in the sunshine.

Reposted by Hermshu

🎃punkin spice spooky geist💀 @pretty-vulgar.bsky.social · 2d

Sunbaked Steve is a sex god.

Hermshu @hermshu.bsky.social · 2d

I was pulling my punches, but I gotta say it. You remind me of beloved actor Paul Giamatti.

Reposted by Hermshu

𝗱𝗿𝗼𝗷𝗼🪾🍂 @apexamigo.bsky.social · 2d

when i have an orgasm
a flag that says "cum"
shoots out of my penis

Reposted by Hermshu

Midge @midge.bsky.social · 3d

People over 40 watching birds at the bird feeder

Picture of a crowd going wild with enthusiasm

Hermshu @hermshu.bsky.social · 3d

No need to click on this. The picture gives it away. He’s gonna be the ball holder.

Headline: “Injured Lillard has unique role with Blazers” below a photo of Damian Lillard in a Blazers uniform holding a basketball with one arm up near his head, showing off his skill as a ball holder.

Hermshu @hermshu.bsky.social · 3d

People are mad at Saudi Arabia for doing 9/11, but you have to understand that it was a different time. Everyone was doing 9/11 back then.

Hermshu @hermshu.bsky.social · 3d

As a white guy with a beard, I gotta say that there are too many white guys with beards. Fuck off, I was first.

Hermshu @hermshu.bsky.social · 5d

If you haven’t put tinfoil on your sofa to try to deter your cat from peeing on it, have you really lived?

Hermshu @hermshu.bsky.social · 5d

What’s the most inappropriate song to belt out while cryving?

Hermshu @hermshu.bsky.social · 5d

Don’t fall asleep with wet hair challenge.