Bee™️
@haillemmy.bsky.social
Pinned
Bee™️
@haillemmy.bsky.social
· Jul 18
Chapter 5: The Baboon Job
Mwanza Tanzania 2009
b-e-jacobssen.medium.com
I promised that you would all eventually get to read the story of how I stole a monkey for a man.
Well...
Here it is.
The Baboon Job.
b-e-jacobssen.medium.com/chapter-5-th...
Well...
Here it is.
The Baboon Job.
b-e-jacobssen.medium.com/chapter-5-th...
I used to snort cocaine and mescaline together in quantities that frightened most everyone in my life and at no point was I ever this unhinged or delusional.
Every part of this is bonkers. The intro is bonkers. The transition to his health is bonkers. The mention that other presidents didn't need cognitive exams is bonkers. The claim that this screening test is somehow hard is bonkers. The idea that criticism of him is treason is bonkers. All of it.
December 10, 2025 at 3:54 AM
I used to snort cocaine and mescaline together in quantities that frightened most everyone in my life and at no point was I ever this unhinged or delusional.
What do I look like I do for a living? Wrong answers only.
December 10, 2025 at 1:27 AM
What do I look like I do for a living? Wrong answers only.
As someone who just sat through a five-hour delay and didn’t land in Boston until 2:50 AM, how about you make sure airports are actually staffed before running your mouth, you fucking dipshit.
Duffy on what he's doing to improve the airport experience for travelers: "Maybe I want a workout area where people might get some blood flowing doing some pull ups or step ups in the airport."
December 9, 2025 at 3:04 AM
As someone who just sat through a five-hour delay and didn’t land in Boston until 2:50 AM, how about you make sure airports are actually staffed before running your mouth, you fucking dipshit.
Look, if Glenn wanted to get his dick sucked so bad he could hire a pro for short money and it would be far less embarrassing than whatever this is.
Some people really need to experience shame again.
Some people really need to experience shame again.
Oh good, Glenn Beck has created an AI George Washington. You will be shocked to learn that the AI George Washington created by Glenn Beck sounds exactly like what would happen if Glenn Beck built an AI George Washington to sound exactly like Glenn Beck.
December 8, 2025 at 7:05 PM
Look, if Glenn wanted to get his dick sucked so bad he could hire a pro for short money and it would be far less embarrassing than whatever this is.
Some people really need to experience shame again.
Some people really need to experience shame again.
Movie you've watched more than six times with a Gif. Hard mode-no Star Wars, Marvel.
December 8, 2025 at 1:22 AM
Movie you've watched more than six times with a Gif. Hard mode-no Star Wars, Marvel.
Rizzo.
Hard not to like the Muppet version of myself.
Hard not to like the Muppet version of myself.
Forget your astrology sign
Who is your favorite muppet and why?
Who is your favorite muppet and why?
December 7, 2025 at 9:58 PM
Rizzo.
Hard not to like the Muppet version of myself.
Hard not to like the Muppet version of myself.
This my “I forgot that I am 45 and had one too many drinks last night at a punk rock show and now I feel like hot buttered ass and I am paying dearly for my mistake” face.
I *did* have fun though.
I *did* have fun though.
December 7, 2025 at 5:21 PM
This my “I forgot that I am 45 and had one too many drinks last night at a punk rock show and now I feel like hot buttered ass and I am paying dearly for my mistake” face.
I *did* have fun though.
I *did* have fun though.
Reposted by Bee™️
this has become a very important video to me
December 7, 2025 at 4:29 AM
this has become a very important video to me
If you see this post your favorite Pokémon.
(You know it’s valid. Don’t argue with me.)
(You know it’s valid. Don’t argue with me.)
December 6, 2025 at 8:36 PM
If you see this post your favorite Pokémon.
(You know it’s valid. Don’t argue with me.)
(You know it’s valid. Don’t argue with me.)
Bold talk from a man who built his life around compartmentalization: toady, Stepford husband, while at night it’s a prayer group alibi, & a twink in six-inch heels named Kyler, still panting from a “sermon” where he preached biblical marriage while raw-dogging hypocrisy in a Marriott chair stack.
‘Mother of God’: Stephanie Ruhle Blown Away When Speaker Johnson Says Women Can’t Mentally ‘Compartmentalize’
Source: Mediaite
share.newsbreak.com/g7jk0ctx
Source: Mediaite
share.newsbreak.com/g7jk0ctx
‘Mother of God’: Stephanie Ruhle Blown Away When Speaker Johnson Says Women Can’t Mentally ‘Compartmentalize’ - NewsBreak
MSNBC’s Stephanie Ruhle could not believe her ears when Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) and his wife offered some retrograde thoughts on women’s brains. On Fri
share.newsbreak.com
December 6, 2025 at 5:05 PM
Bold talk from a man who built his life around compartmentalization: toady, Stepford husband, while at night it’s a prayer group alibi, & a twink in six-inch heels named Kyler, still panting from a “sermon” where he preached biblical marriage while raw-dogging hypocrisy in a Marriott chair stack.
“We’re both absorbing the full risk of our splendor,” he mumbled, slumped on a tile bench, business card still stuck to his back with sweat. His last coherent thought was a ketamine swoon and a bottle of poppers on loan from someone named BeefBoy.
Holy smokes! If you acted like Palantir CEO Alex Karp in a corporate meeting, they would report you to HR. Just saying.
December 6, 2025 at 3:53 PM
“We’re both absorbing the full risk of our splendor,” he mumbled, slumped on a tile bench, business card still stuck to his back with sweat. His last coherent thought was a ketamine swoon and a bottle of poppers on loan from someone named BeefBoy.
I’ve been in this short meat suit for 45 years and I still act surprised when I’m standing in a crowd and the only thing I can see is other people’s shoulder blades. Or worse.
December 6, 2025 at 3:32 AM
I’ve been in this short meat suit for 45 years and I still act surprised when I’m standing in a crowd and the only thing I can see is other people’s shoulder blades. Or worse.
Bryce “I failed HS Biology because I spent too much time sticking my dick in wall sockets so now I have no clue how the human body works” Harper.
Good thing the guy can hit a ball because he’s got shit for brains.
Good thing the guy can hit a ball because he’s got shit for brains.
December 6, 2025 at 2:00 AM
Bryce “I failed HS Biology because I spent too much time sticking my dick in wall sockets so now I have no clue how the human body works” Harper.
Good thing the guy can hit a ball because he’s got shit for brains.
Good thing the guy can hit a ball because he’s got shit for brains.
So, what you’re saying is that this guy is next in line to run the FBI after Kash gets the boot.
BREAKING on MS NOW:
Brian Cole Jr., the suspect accused of being the Jan. 6 pipe bomber, confessed to agents that he planted the bombs and has indicated he supported President Trump, according to two people familiar with his interview.
Brian Cole Jr., the suspect accused of being the Jan. 6 pipe bomber, confessed to agents that he planted the bombs and has indicated he supported President Trump, according to two people familiar with his interview.
December 5, 2025 at 3:44 PM
So, what you’re saying is that this guy is next in line to run the FBI after Kash gets the boot.
After many delays, I have arrived.
I needed this coffee. Bad.
I needed this coffee. Bad.
December 5, 2025 at 3:29 PM
After many delays, I have arrived.
I needed this coffee. Bad.
I needed this coffee. Bad.
I love an airport bar.
Chicago bound. ✈️
Chicago bound. ✈️
December 4, 2025 at 10:32 PM
I love an airport bar.
Chicago bound. ✈️
Chicago bound. ✈️
When you see this, post an image from your gallery to describe your mental health.
December 4, 2025 at 8:58 PM
When you see this, post an image from your gallery to describe your mental health.
I am obligated to post this image every time Danny boy here steps on his own dick.
December 4, 2025 at 2:51 PM
I am obligated to post this image every time Danny boy here steps on his own dick.
As a lifelong wagon supremacist, I feel compelled to clarify: our movement does not endorse huffing leaded gas fumes straight from the tank like this guy.
Sean Duffy on slashing fuel economy standards: "This rule will actually allow you to bring back the 1970s station wagon. Maybe a little wood paneling on the side. We can bring back choice to consumers."
December 4, 2025 at 2:10 PM
As a lifelong wagon supremacist, I feel compelled to clarify: our movement does not endorse huffing leaded gas fumes straight from the tank like this guy.
I'm not usually one for eugenics, but this is exactly why you don't let every pair of balls reproduce unchecked.
If this guy's DNA makes it into the next generation, we’ve failed as a species.
If this guy's DNA makes it into the next generation, we’ve failed as a species.
Palantir CEO Says Making War Crimes Constitutional Would Be Good for Business
gizmodo.com/palantir-ceo...
gizmodo.com/palantir-ceo...
Palantir CEO Says Making War Crimes Constitutional Would Be Good for Business
Alex Karp vows to use his
gizmodo.com
December 4, 2025 at 12:20 PM
I'm not usually one for eugenics, but this is exactly why you don't let every pair of balls reproduce unchecked.
If this guy's DNA makes it into the next generation, we’ve failed as a species.
If this guy's DNA makes it into the next generation, we’ve failed as a species.
My ‘25 top record.
Sad bastard shit - incredibly on brand for yours truly.
Sad bastard shit - incredibly on brand for yours truly.
December 3, 2025 at 3:34 PM
My ‘25 top record.
Sad bastard shit - incredibly on brand for yours truly.
Sad bastard shit - incredibly on brand for yours truly.
Who wrote this, Cobra Commander?
December 2, 2025 at 6:58 PM
Who wrote this, Cobra Commander?
Reposted by Bee™️
Rich women should marry rich women. Then take over the world.
December 1, 2025 at 10:01 PM
Rich women should marry rich women. Then take over the world.