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Bee™️

@haillemmy.bsky.social

1K followers 960 following 9.1K posts

Feral but functional. 🏳️‍🌈 https://b-e-jacobssen.medium.com/

b-e-jacobssen.medium.com

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Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · Jul 18

I promised that you would all eventually get to read the story of how I stole a monkey for a man.

Well...

Here it is.

The Baboon Job.

b-e-jacobssen.medium.com/chapter-5-th...

Chapter 5: The Baboon Job

Mwanza Tanzania 2009

b-e-jacobssen.medium.com

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 12h

Oh, I stopped thinking about the damage those fumes did to me over the course of 17 years.

I’m surprised my brain simply hasn’t melted.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 12h

Yeah. We’re in the same age group so we definitely got some solid lead exposure early on in life.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 12h

Yeah, you’re probably right.

Plus, I’d have to leave the house and that would necessitate me wearing pants and that is a bridge too far at 10pm.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 12h

Speak for yourself.

My microplastics are breeding!

There’s a vibrant colony inside my brain that is (not so) slowly driving me insane.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 12h

Fuck. Now I want a beer and a smoke.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 12h

I miss the early 00’s.

We knew all that shit was bad for us but we didn’t care.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 12h

That’s a universal truth right there.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 12h

I was an unfiltered Lucky Strike person for years.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 12h

I’d be lying if I said I don’t miss smoking.

I’m glad I quit (ages ago) but there are times when I’m tempted to start back up again.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 12h

I hope I live long enough to see what kids say about our generation when we’re old.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 12h

That’s where the flavor is!

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 13h

No skincare, no sunscreen, and everyone smoked.

It's amazing how much older *everyone* looked.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 13h

Oh, I wish I could still behave like that.

My body would revolt.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 13h

Eh, it's why I like you.

Don't ever change.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 13h

Talk radio, even in the best times, is infuriating.

I treat it like booze. Very small doses and never on back-to-back days.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 13h

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 14h

Don't pay any attention to him. He's just a cranky crusty crab.

The offseason is *almost* as much fun as the season. All of the trade and free agent speculation makes the winter go by faster.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 17h

I mean…technically she’s correct.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 19h

Five months until Opening Day 2026!

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 19h

Bland peanuts are a crime!

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 21h

I’ve never had them this way but it looks great!

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 23h

Hope she has fun with her macular degeneration!

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 23h

Oh, I see them there all the time, in and out of uniform. 😂😂

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 23h

I do what I can.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 1d

Not exactly what you're looking for but eh, close enough.

Also, you're welcome.

An ad for the "recto flute"

A butt plug with a whistle built in. Three devices are shown in the image. One in blue, one in pink, and one in red.

It is what you think it is. A butt plug with a hole in the base, ostensibly where music or sound comes out.

God help me. I had to type "slide-whistle butt plug" into Google and now my search algorithm is going to be filled with all sorts of demented things.