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Gherkin Inspector🔞

@gherkininspectr.bsky.social

130 followers 240 following 1.7K posts

🔞! 18+ ONLY !🔞 NSFW 25 | He/Him | Hi! I write smutty fanfic about robots, monsters, aliens, and weird guys! I'll be linking my posts on Ao3 as I make them. Proship DNI Buy me a Coffee: https://ko-fi.com/machball

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Gherkin Inspector🔞 @gherkininspectr.bsky.social · 13h

The CSB is run by the federal government, so it's no surprise. This one is a classic: www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtWy...

Caught in the Storm: Extreme Weather Hazards

YouTube video by USCSB

www.youtube.com

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Gherkin Inspector🔞 @gherkininspectr.bsky.social · 15h

In related news, I need to put panties on a Dell tower

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Gherkin Inspector🔞 @gherkininspectr.bsky.social · 17h

Turning the peripherals into a cybersex organ was the goal, I had a little keyboard at the bottom of the screen that would light up, and I planned to encourage users to mash alternating keys or slide their fingers across the rows like a piano, but I never got that far.

Gherkin Inspector🔞 @gherkininspectr.bsky.social · 17h

Unconventional erogenous zones was the core idea, where the computer gets off on your pressing buttons. I can't bring robot sex to life convincingly without some pretty crazy stuff, but a computer program that you can fuck? Everyone already has a mouse and keyboard... What if it could feel those?

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Gherkin Inspector🔞 @gherkininspectr.bsky.social · 17h

It was the little things I was getting hung up on back then, like not knowing how to apportion screen space, or trying to poll inputs in juuuust the right way to make the game actually feel interesting... I've gotten a lot better since then, though. Might be tempted to have another go sometime soon.

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Gherkin Inspector🔞 @gherkininspectr.bsky.social · 17h

🫡

Gherkin Inspector🔞 @gherkininspectr.bsky.social · 17h

YEAHHH I was going for a sort of Yes Man angle where the AI in the game would be talking down to you, in a friendly but patronizing way.

Gherkin Inspector🔞 @gherkininspectr.bsky.social · 17h

Do you have any vintage/obscure recs? I need to watch more stuff, I haven't watched hardly any TV in ages...

Gherkin Inspector🔞 @gherkininspectr.bsky.social · 17h

Yeahhhhh!!! At some point, I might be tempted to come back and finish it, but I gotta focus on chasing that bag rn...

Gherkin Inspector🔞 @gherkininspectr.bsky.social · 17h

Still really proud of this snippet I wrote for an Erotic Typing Tutor game I was messing with a while ago...

There's a bit of a thought experiment to do with keyboards. It goes something like this:
If you sit enough monkeys down at typewriters, one of them will, by pure chance, eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare, just by randomly banging on the buttons.
Technically, if you had either infinite time, infinite monkeys, or both, this is true.
However, the odds of this happening in reality are impossibly small.
Lets take their likelihood of typing just the famous 'To be or not to be' soliloquy from Hamlet.
We'll ignore punctuation, capitalization, and formatting, and assume they only have to type the right letters in order, with just 26 to choose from.
The chance of the correct letter sequence being typed at random is so unimaginably small that if I try to calculate it as a floating point number, the result gets rounded down to 0.
1,554 digits are required to represent the number of possible permutations that are equal in length to this passage.
For reference, the number of human hair widths required to span the entire diameter of the known universe fits comfortably in just 31 digits.
I'd print that number out for you, but the width of the known universe is a bit fuzzy, so there isn't a single precise answer.
Where was I again? Right.
The odds of you typing up the complete works of Shakespeare at random are incomprehensibly microscopic, but we could have a lot of fun trying!
I'd definitely enjoy having you bang on the keyboard like a baboon, even if you don't produce any works of classic literature.
Now smash some keys, my little monkey!

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Gherkin Inspector🔞 @gherkininspectr.bsky.social · 17h

You guys gotta hop on Placid Plastic Duck Simulator, the halloween event goes CRAZY

Reposted by Gherkin Inspector🔞

Yoink_0 @yoink-0.bsky.social · 18h

Designed with Designed with
activists in mind gamers in mind

Coloured sketches of Kinger from the Amazing Digital Circus in swim trunks & a speedo.

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Gherkin Inspector🔞 @gherkininspectr.bsky.social · 17h

That's the most expensive subscription, and OpenAI *still* loses money on each one on average.

Reposted by Gherkin Inspector🔞

Moominable Object @chimeracauldron.bsky.social · 21h

by the year 2035 you'll be able to access a chatgpt holodeck that let's you have missionary post-marital sex with lady dimatresca for the cost of a car payment per hour while a town in Ohio gets the last of its water extracted to render her boobs(bra stays on)

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Gherkin Inspector🔞 @gherkininspectr.bsky.social · 21h

Thanks elliott! I appreciate it :)

Gherkin Inspector🔞 @gherkininspectr.bsky.social · 22h

That's literally just Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia. That game had no right to be so damn hard

Gherkin Inspector🔞 @gherkininspectr.bsky.social · 22h

OMG You should... CG or Polygonal?

Gherkin Inspector🔞 @gherkininspectr.bsky.social · 22h

Thank you!

Gherkin Inspector🔞 @gherkininspectr.bsky.social · 23h

THIS CAME OUT SO GOOD...

Reposted by Gherkin Inspector🔞

🔞Obagam @obagams.bsky.social · 23h

One of the rare instances a traditional smut drawing worked out for me #deltaruined

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Gherkin Inspector🔞 @gherkininspectr.bsky.social · 23h

If someone gave *me* a monthly $200 subscription they wouldn't just get regurgitated content slurry.

🦎galileo🍉 @galileogb.bsky.social · 1d

Sonic saying, "Support your local, human, erotica creators. You need chatgpt to suck your e-dick for you? You absolutely fucking LOSER"

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Reposted by Gherkin Inspector🔞

onion person @junlper.beer · 23h

we love edgy jokes about gas chambers and rape unless it’s jokes about charlie kirk dying, which if you do that, you’ll be punished and deported and free speech revoked

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Gherkin Inspector🔞 @gherkininspectr.bsky.social · 23h

You know, the meter's saying this is based

Reposted by Gherkin Inspector🔞

༺☆༻ @softservemelting.bsky.social · 23h

a very shitty doodle based off of me seeing a really pretty racing jacket at work and going 'i bet [redacted] would wear this just to distract people if there was a racing adventure'

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Gherkin Inspector🔞 @gherkininspectr.bsky.social · 23h

Thank you! :D