Evan Allgood
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evoooooooooooo.bsky.social
Evan Allgood
@evoooooooooooo.bsky.social
Writer for The New Yorker, McSweeney's, The Believer, The Millions, The Novelizers, Current Affairs, Points in Case, Vol. 1 Brooklyn

https://www.evanallgood.com/
Pinned
Considering our mortality
December 17, 2025 at 11:46 PM
Some shots from snowy Green-Wood Cemetery yesterday
December 17, 2025 at 2:48 PM
December 17, 2025 at 1:32 AM
Reposted by Evan Allgood
*walking in a winter wonderland*
ME: where's bluebird?
BIRD: gone
ME: w... who are you?
*bird looks around shiftily*
BIRD: I'm new bird
December 16, 2023 at 4:33 PM
When I remove the window AC without throwing out my back
December 14, 2025 at 11:23 PM
Reposted by Evan Allgood
Jimmy Fallon would host the Hunger Games.
December 9, 2025 at 6:31 PM
(cracks knuckles) Welp, time to prove how lucid I am by posting the most insane thing anyone has ever read
Every part of this is bonkers. The intro is bonkers. The transition to his health is bonkers. The mention that other presidents didn't need cognitive exams is bonkers. The claim that this screening test is somehow hard is bonkers. The idea that criticism of him is treason is bonkers. All of it.
December 10, 2025 at 3:52 AM
Reposted by Evan Allgood
Come work with me! Salary range $85,000-$100,000. Benefits include a union, fairly low insurance premiums and so many cat photos. job-boards.greenhouse.io/propublica/j...
Copy Editor
New York City, United States; Remote, United States
job-boards.greenhouse.io
December 9, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Reposted by Evan Allgood
Will Arnett was on Conan and told a story about how Conan dealt with the death of his parents by accusing Jason Bateman of killing them. It’s so funny.
December 9, 2025 at 5:35 PM
Reposted by Evan Allgood
JMU fans looking at Alabama like
December 7, 2025 at 2:58 PM
Reposted by Evan Allgood
I wrote a bit for McSweeney's about Isaac Chotiner interviewing Santa Claus. Just a little something for the holiday season. Enjoy!
The New Yorker’s Isaac Chotiner Interviews Santa Claus
For several centuries, Santa Claus has been one of the most prolific mythical gift-givers in the world. Formerly known as Saint Nicholas of Myra, a...
www.mcsweeneys.net
December 4, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Always humbling when somebody's rock bottom in a TV show or movie is like a Tuesday for me
December 5, 2025 at 2:54 AM
Reposted by Evan Allgood
Brutus before and after you adopt him. This big mush has been waiting at Sean Casey Animal Rescue for months! He loves people, treats, and walks; other dogs, not so much
November 13, 2025 at 10:13 PM
Reposted by Evan Allgood
December 4, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Genuinely annoyed that no one told me this existed
December 4, 2025 at 3:57 PM
Reposted by Evan Allgood
BIG NEWS, I'm pleased to say that Hallowzine.ink has released @evoooooooooooo.bsky.social 's piece "Don Draper Pitches Halloween Costumes" in 4K!!! As a pdf. hallowzine.ink/Don_Draper_I...
Hallowzine! A Zine Featuring Fiction, Poetry, and Comics for Halloween
Hallowzine.ink
December 3, 2025 at 11:59 PM
What's your dream Knives Out cast? I think this would be fun:

Meryl Streep
Patrick Stewart
Florence Pugh
A$AP Rocky
Marion Cotillard
Timothy Olyphant
Greta Lee
Matthew Rhys
John Hodgman (assisting Blanc)
December 2, 2025 at 8:33 PM
Reposted by Evan Allgood
“You better not be NBA Live ‘97 David Robinson when you get back from that *walk* with your cousins!”

{me coming back from the *walk* with my cousins}
November 27, 2025 at 12:36 AM
Reposted by Evan Allgood
Was not expecting this blatant xenophobia on my tv first thing in the morning...
November 27, 2025 at 1:40 PM
Reposted by Evan Allgood
Astoria the Wild Turkey finds a sheltered spot in a garden and relaxes on a bed of fallen leaves in The Battery. 🦃 ❤️ 🍃
November 27, 2025 at 3:40 PM
Obligatory
November 26, 2025 at 2:39 AM
Reposted by Evan Allgood
November 25, 2025 at 5:07 PM
(Mitch Hedberg voice) That's a downtown newspaper box
November 25, 2025 at 5:17 AM
Reposted by Evan Allgood
I've got a new Shout co-authored with my talented bud Jordan De Padova and illustrated beautifully by Livia Weiner. Sláinte!
www.newyorker.com/humor/shouts...
Lesser-Known Celebrity-Owned Alcohol Brands
Featuring Walton Goggins’s Weirdly Hot Jalapeño Tequila and Sydney Sweeney’s Pure White Rum.
www.newyorker.com
November 20, 2025 at 10:06 PM
Reposted by Evan Allgood
A minute with Romeo and Juliet, the Central Park coyotes, as seen at night through thermal video. 🐺 ❤️
November 22, 2025 at 9:03 PM