banner
LightNews
ceefaux.bsky.social
CEEFAUX
@ceefaux.bsky.social
3.4K followers 2 following 460 posts
The TV listings you never did know that you didn't not need, in glorious teletext several times a day. GSOH. Non-smoker preferred. Ring top bell. Your home is at risk if you store dynamite in it.
Posts Media Videos Starter Packs
ceefaux.bsky.social
CEEFAUX @ceefaux.bsky.social · 30m
We had the weekend off.
19.00 STARKSY AND HUTCH American police action drama about a cool Californian copy and his new partner, a wooden box with a wire latticed front for the storage and protection of rabbits.
2 1 22
ceefaux.bsky.social
CEEFAUX @ceefaux.bsky.social · 3d
Remember to sicut and subscribe
21.00 FILM: ET TU FAST ET TU FURIOUS. Latin version of the popular street racing franchises. Starring VIn Diesel.
7 5 32
ceefaux.bsky.social
CEEFAUX @ceefaux.bsky.social · 4d
21.00 FILM: CASINO ROYALE WITH CHEESE What they call that James Bond film in Paris.
1 15 62
ceefaux.bsky.social
CEEFAUX @ceefaux.bsky.social · 4d
Well that's that ruined already
2 1 28
ceefaux.bsky.social
CEEFAUX @ceefaux.bsky.social · 4d
Thanks everyone!
6 46
ceefaux.bsky.social
CEEFAUX @ceefaux.bsky.social · 5d
22.00 FILM: EVRI-THING, EVRI-WHERE ALL AT ONCE. Award-winning multiverse adventure when you parcel is somehow at the depot, in transit, in your safe place, left with a neighbour, delayed, returned to sender, in your green bin, all at the same time- but never actually with you.
41 130
ceefaux.bsky.social
CEEFAUX @ceefaux.bsky.social · 6d
Gappy goosday
22.30 FILM: GOODGELLAS Martin Scorcese's gangster epic performed entirely by amateur ventriloquists.
3 7 50
ceefaux.bsky.social
CEEFAUX @ceefaux.bsky.social · 6d
It's #mathsmonday
19.300 CHARLIE'S ANGLES More action, adventure and basic trigonometry with the girls. This week's episode: A-cute case of poisoning.
2 7 40
ceefaux.bsky.social
CEEFAUX @ceefaux.bsky.social · 9d
In honour of #patriciaroutledge #richarddddddd #itspronouncedCEEFO
20.00 KEEPING UP WHATSAPPEARANCES Hyacinth fumes when she can see that the Vicar has read her note, the two little blue ticks are there, and that every time she types her full name a bucket emoji rather than the bunch of flowers emojoi appears. Also, Richard's status is set to 'But Hyacinth...'
2 11 52
ceefaux.bsky.social
CEEFAUX @ceefaux.bsky.social · 10d
Merry Christmas
22.45 FILM: DIE HARDY When terrorists take over an LA skyscraper that they don't count on being somehow thwarted by one fat man with a little moustache who has ended up covered in ink, paint and tar and sawdust and keeps hitting his head and going 'dooohhhhh' and blaming his thin English friend.
4 6 44
ceefaux.bsky.social
CEEFAUX @ceefaux.bsky.social · 11d
Mother of God, it's Thursday
21.00 LINE OF DUTY FREE Pursuing a lead at Manchester's Terminal One, Ted declares "I'm interested in one thing, and one thing only, and that's industrial sized Toblerones. And maybe cheap bottles of Gin. On, and do you have any overpriced M&M's tins?"
2 6 45
ceefaux.bsky.social
CEEFAUX @ceefaux.bsky.social · 12d
Happy birthday Hugh Grant! Admittedly it was last month, but we've been busy, sorry.
21.00 FILM: NOTTING BENNY HILL. After he spills coffee all over her, Hugh Grant is chased around a posh London location at 10 times normal speed by Julia Roberts in a bra. Warning: some sax scenes.
9 74
ceefaux.bsky.social
CEEFAUX @ceefaux.bsky.social · 12d
Bring out the new listing
21.00 FILM: FORREST GIMP Tom Hanks plays the submissive hero who goes by the motto "Mmmm mm mmmm m mmm mm mmmmmmmm".
4 5 52
ceefaux.bsky.social
CEEFAUX @ceefaux.bsky.social · 13d
Happy memories from 2023 #rydercup
15.00 LIVE: THE SHAUN RYDER CUP 2023 Coverage of the prestigious events which sees the Happy Mondays front man attempt to get through three days without twisting his melons.
4 62
ceefaux.bsky.social
CEEFAUX @ceefaux.bsky.social · 14d
22.00 FILM: CHILDREN OF MEH Distinctly average story about a something or other. TBH I was my phone during it, couldn't really say what happened. It was OK I guess, passed me by really.
1 5 49
ceefaux.bsky.social
CEEFAUX @ceefaux.bsky.social · 15d
22.00 FILM: With Edward Norton and Brad Pitt.
4 12 78
ceefaux.bsky.social
CEEFAUX @ceefaux.bsky.social · 16d
Yes! Defo something coming soonish probably possibly - hope that clears things up.
1
ceefaux.bsky.social
CEEFAUX @ceefaux.bsky.social · 17d
Happy Friday...if you can
17.30 GARTH MERENGHI'S A DARKPLACE IN THE SUN Maurice and Sheila has £350,000 to buy a Spanish property. But why did they choose Casa Del Muerto (literally Spanish for 'House of the Dead'). Why pick a house that drips with red cells, white cells, platelets and plasma (i.e. blood). It was a choice they would live to regret, although not for long as they were swallowed by a Perro del Demonio (Devil Dog - also Spanish).
5 11 59
ceefaux.bsky.social
CEEFAUX @ceefaux.bsky.social · 18d
17,45 WORDLE GUMMIDGE Listing in the form of WORDLE puzzle, innit. SWAPS HEADS STOOD STILL SCARE CROWS Quite hard to explain on ALT-TEXT, sorry, so sorry.
2 38 140
ceefaux.bsky.social
CEEFAUX @ceefaux.bsky.social · 19d
You can get cream for that
4
ceefaux.bsky.social
CEEFAUX @ceefaux.bsky.social · 19d
It's a listing for the film BIG, you know, the one where a boy wishes he was 'Big' and wakes up as Tom Hanks the next day. Anyway, enough of that, the listing is zoomed in really tight so you can hardly read it because it's the LISTING that has got big. Brilliant eh? TBH, now we've written it out we're not sure it's that funny really. We'd probably delete it if we hadn't spent ages writing all this down.
3 6 71
ceefaux.bsky.social
CEEFAUX @ceefaux.bsky.social · 20d
22.00 FILM: SHALLOW GRAVY Three flatmates must hide a dead body in a limited supply of Bisto. Please note, this film contains stock footage.
7 28 120
ceefaux.bsky.social
CEEFAUX @ceefaux.bsky.social · 21d
19.00 THE F ALL GUY Lee Majors stars as the man who does absolutely nothing.
6 15 97
ceefaux.bsky.social
CEEFAUX @ceefaux.bsky.social · 21d
21.00 UNEXPECTED ITEM IN THE FLEABAGGING ARE Turns to camera "To be honest, I think we all know the 'item' in question is absolutely expected when it comes to that area."
2 6 35
ceefaux.bsky.social
CEEFAUX @ceefaux.bsky.social · 23d
#doctorwho #amillionpointstotonyslattery
18.05 DR WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY? Sci-fi series that appears to now just be being made up as they go along (knowing wink at audience).
5 4 54