Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Captain Howdy

@captainhowdy.bsky.social

4K followers 320 following 2.9K posts

Occasional maker of pictures. Fourthwall: https://captain-howdy-shop.fourthwall.com/en-gbp Redbubble: https://www.redbubble.com/people/captain-howdy/shop?asc=u

captain-howdy-shop.fourthwall.com

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Pinned

Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 12d

The Slasher Olympics heralds the start of this year's Hallowmeme Countdown.
🎃

The 6 panel Bronze Medal meme. The top left panel shows an athlete bowing his head to receive his medal, but the athlete is now Freddy Krueger. The top right panel shows him biting down on the medal. The middle left panel shows him kissing the woman who placed the medal around his neck. The middle right panel shows him shouting with joy as he sticks up two middle fingers. The bottom left panel has him opening a lively bottle of Champagne. The bottom right panel shows him spraying his face with Champagne as he chugs from the bottle. He's standing on the 3rd place podium, which features the number 45+ (his rough killcount). Michael Myers is standing on the 2nd place podium with a killcount of 150+. On the 1st place podium is Jason Voorhees, with an approximate killcount of 160+. Before anyone dives in to tell me that, actually, I'm wrong because so-and-so has killed more people than such-and-such, I don't care. I looked at numerous sites that claim to have answered this exact question, and Michael and Jason often swap places, so I just went with the character I like more.

3 27 140

Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 2h

Today's Hallowmeme.

The "Sad Keanu" meme which shows the actor eating his lunch on a wooden bench, but he has now has Elvira for company and seems quite chuffed by the fact she's decided to join him for a sandwich and help him feed the birds. Maybe they'll watch a cheesy horror double-bill when they've finished eating.

Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 19h

"You cannot punch ectoplasm."

If you enjoy comedy horrors, the overlooked gem 'Housebound' is on BBC2 at 00.50, tonight.

The movie poster for "Housebound" (2014) which shows a slightly unusual family portrait sitting within a weathered wooden frame. The family consists of a smiling mother, a scowling daughter, a somewhat bemused stepfather and a terrifying figure under a stitched sheet with its taloned hand resting on the daughter's shoulder.

4 20

Reposted by Captain Howdy

Gregk Foley @gregk.co.uk · 20h

No other film ending has ever gone this hard. Every time this rolls up on-screen I immediately think, “Damn right I have.”

Final shot of SUSPIRIA before the credits roll, which begin with the following:

You have been watching
"SUSPIRIA"

4 80 390

Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 1d

Cellar dwellers:

The "Two Guys On A Bus" meme, but everything is now tinted blue and there are 6 guys on the bus. 5 of them are smiling at the guy in the front, who's gripping the top of the seat in front of him and looks absolutely terrified. An homage to the scene from "In the Mouth of Madness" (1994) where John Trent, who's riding a bus, falls asleep and dreams that Sutter Cane, the author of spooky tales, tells him that his favourite colour is blue. John then wakes to find he's still on the bus and everything, and everyone, himself included, is blue. Of course he screams. Who wouldn't? That's some weapons-grade trippy shit.

The "Steal His Look" meme which usually shows some hipster type and gives a breakdown of how much money you'd have to spend to achieve the same look. The hipster type is now Michael Myers from "Halloween" (1978) and the items requires are as follows: A Prada Press-Stud Long-Sleeved Jumpsuit = £1,690. An Etsy Captain Kirk 1975 Replica Mask = £499. A 2.5L tin of Farrow & Ball All White Paint (to give your Kirk mask the suitable chill factor) = £52. A 24cm Dick 1778 Chef's Knife = £732. Gucci Men's Ankle Boot With Interlocking G = £755. The grand total comes to £3,728 or you could just borrow a carving knife from your granny's kitchen and steal the rest with maximum menace.

The "Pondering My Orb" meme which shows a wizard seated behind an ornate wooden table, gazing lovingly at his crystal ball. The wizard is now the Tall Man from "Phantasm" (1979) and the orb is now one of his super-shiny death spheres. There's a figure peering round a door in the background, and although he looks a lot like Elijah Wood's Frodo, I can categorically state he is, in fact, the teenage Mike from "Phantasm".

The "Distracted Boyfriend" meme, but the boyfriend is now skinned super-pervert Frank Cotton from "Hellraiser (1987). His disgruntled girlfriend is Julia, another super-pervert, although she's managed to retain her skin (for now), and the object of Frank's attention is Pinhead, chief Cenobite and keen advocate of properly ouchy sadomasochism.

1 12

Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 1d

Today's Hallowmeme.

A black and white version of the 4 panel Drake meme, but Drake has been replaced by Kichi's mother from "Onibaba" (1964). In the top left panel, she's all smiles as she points at the hannya demon mask in the top right panel. In the bottom left panel she's now wearing the mask, but seems to be having a hard time removing it. The bottom right panel has a picture of her daughter-in-law screaming in fear, and rightly so, because her mother-in-law looks like a demon. My advice: don't put on clearly cursed masks you've stolen from dead samurai. Or from anyone, really.

2 3 21

Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 1d

Yeah, saw this last night. I even went on to their site to make sure it was legit, which it totally is. Wasn't even thinking of buying one until I noticed it was a limited edition, and now the bastards have me considering where to put it.
I'm such an easy mark.

1 1

Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 1d

From this day in 2016.

The album cover for "Abbey Road" which usually shows all 4 Beatles using the zebra crossing outside what was then EMI Studios, but Paul and Ringo have been replaced by Madness in nutty train mode (thanks to a colour version of the black and white photo used on the cover of "One Step Beyond").

1 7 88

Reposted by Captain Howdy

David Quantick @quantick.bsky.social · 1d

RIP Diane Keaton.

6 14 140

Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 1d

It's full of love, if that helps.

1 1

Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 1d

"He was a consummate actor. He knew what was required & he knew he could deliver it. He stuck acting in his back pocket & behaved like a human being. He was a total actor because he was a total person."
Mel Brooks on John Candy

I cannot conceive of a better tribute than 'John Candy: I Like Me'.

A bruised-yet-smiling John Candy gives the perfect full-stop to his Oscar-worthy performance as Del Griffith in the final moments of "Planes, Trains and Automobiles" (1987). And I don't use the Oscar mention lightly. I've always believed that, were he still with us, he'd already have won one for an incredible performance in a more serious role.

4 10 63

Reposted by Captain Howdy

David Ziggy Greene (Jam bookshop) @jambookshopuk.bsky.social · 2d

An independent bookshop is one of the best things you can support right now.

Visit one today & spend £10 on a book.
#bookshopday

2 28 40

Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 2d

From the vaults:

The "Fastest Things on Earth" meme which depicts four things that are increasingly faster than the other. The top left object is a cheetah, kicking up a cloud of dust. The speed bar below it indicates a yellow line that goes about 1/6 of the way along. The top right object is an airplane, with contrails streaming behind it. The speed bar below it indicates a light orange line that goes about 1/3 of the way along. The bottom left object is the speed of light, with a comet-like tail spreading out behind it. The speed bar below it indicates an orange line that goes about 2/3 of the way along. The bottom right object is Jason Voorhees. The speed bar below it is a full red line, because even though we only ever see him walking, this fucker can really shift when the cameras aren't looking.

The Screaming Woman and Cat meme, but the screaming woman is now Quint, the captain of the Orca from 'Jaws'. His friend, (although history tells us otherwise), is Matt Hooper, also from 'Jaws'. The cat has been replaced with the image of the shark from the 'Jaws' book/movie poster. On the plate in front of him are 3, small yellow barrels. Can he get all 3 down before the dessert trolley arrives? I believe so.

The "You Know, I'm Something of a Scientist Myself" meme, but the image is now in black and white. Willem Dafoe is still Willem Dafoe, but he's no longer Norman Osborn from the 'Spider-Man' movies - he's now Thomas Wake, from "The Lighthouse" (2019), complete with his lighthouse keeper's hat and big bushy beard. In the background we can see Ephraim Winslow/Thomas Howard (Robert Pattinson) arguing with the one-eyed gull. On the grassy area behind them is the mermaid scrimshaw Winslow finds, but it's now a much larger statue. Walking up the stairs, and to the left of Mr. Dafoe, is the "actual" mermaid from the movie (Valeriia Karaman). The wording now reads: "Ye know, I be something of a lighthouse keeper meself."

The "Why Would X Do This" meme. The 1st image shows Dr. Loomis from "Halloween" (1978) pointing a smoking gun at the slumped figure of Michael Myers in a chair. The 2nd image shows Dr. Loomis, gun at his side, looking straight at the camera. Michael Myers remains slumped in the chair. The 3rd and final image shows Dr. Loomis, gun still at his side, still looking straight at us, as the figure of Michael Myers now sits bolt upright in his chair, (because that boy is practically immortal).

2 2 15

Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 2d

In fairness, the flying bike is still cool, but it ain't no interplanetary craft.

Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 2d

Alt. text: a short clip "The Joy of Sect" episode of The Simpsons showing The Leader leaving a barn in his spanky flying saucer, much to the amazement of the gathered crowd. But as he rises higher it begins to fall apart, revealing The Leader sitting on a flying bicycle while making funny noises.

1 6

Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 2d

2 4 36

Reposted by Captain Howdy

couchtripper @couchtripper.com · 2d

#eggs #hats #etc

7 27

Reposted by Captain Howdy

Joe Scaramangaaaaarrrrrggghhh!🎃 @joescaramanga.co.uk · 26d

Not sure what this is doing in my local B&M car park, but I'm ok with it.

A b&w printed picture of Keith Harris and Orville on a white board surrounded by bushes in a car park.

10 14 98

Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 2d

Today's Hallowmeme.

The "Trade Offer" meme which shows a long-haired man in a suit, with his fingers templed in front of him and an aloof look on his face, as he offers you a trade deal from his blacklit office. The man is now clearly one of the living dead, with a deathly pallor, red eyes, pointy teeth and some serious Spock ears. His offer is that he will receive all of your blood, while you receive life eternal as his willing slave. Tough call. I guess you could always take the offer and stake him on the first night when his guard is down and he's banging on about how you need to call him "Master", then you get all of eternity to do as you please.

1 1 14

Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 2d

Lovely photos, Pete. We had beautiful blue skies and white fluffy clouds right up until the moment we set foot on the sands, when it suddenly became a singular flat grey and decidedly haunted.

1 3

Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 2d

When we got there, the tide was about as far out as it could possibly get. We walked for 2 miles across an eerie, completely deserted beach, until we eventually reached the sea. I threw the single symbolic stone I'd picked up earlier into the waves and we headed back to the café for a sandwich.

2 17

Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 2d

It was all rainbows and butterflies prior to this.

The wooden Lifeboat Horse at Wells-Next-The-Sea stands on a sandbank as it waits for the tide to return.

Reposted by Captain Howdy

HappyToast @happytoast.co.uk · 2d

Monster Month day 11 - Holey Joe

A white cartoon character with a hole where it's face should be

7 6 71

Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 2d

"QUIS EST ISTE QUI UENIT"

This is why you should never blow old whistles you find on the beach.
#WhoIsThisWhoIsComing

A dark figure follows me across the lone and level sands of the beach at Wells-Next-The-Sea. I'm sure it's nothing supernatural...

2 1 24

Reposted by Captain Howdy

Hey Kids Rock'n'Roll @heykidsshop.bsky.social · 2d

NEW! from heykidsrocknroll.etsy.com
My Little PLAGUE DOCTOR!
It's Octoberrific fun!

A paper model of a plague doctor. He is dressed in black with a long-nosed white mask and a white satin ribbon on the end of a cocktail stick cane

The same model but on a red background with some atmospheric fairy lights

3 10 41

Reposted by Captain Howdy

Helen Day @lbflyawayhome.bsky.social · 2d

An observation test for you - for your inner 8 year-old

“The artist has hidden 12 things in this picture. How many can you find?”

Treasure magazine, 1964
Official answers coming soon

(Even if you don’t reply, could you please ‘like’ or share this one? 🙏)

Black-and-white picture of two children playing in woodland. Also in the picture, there are 12 hidden animals including an owl, a bat and a squirrel.

82 260 860