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Bergamot Jones

@bergamohjones.bsky.social

690 followers 190 following 3.1K posts

Making #art #scifi and #problems. Former dog inventory specialist. Edging 40. Icon by me.

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Bergamot Jones @bergamohjones.bsky.social · Jun 15

A beginning is a very delicate time. Know, then, that the year is 10,191.

Bergamot Jones @bergamohjones.bsky.social · Jun 15

You can just skeet Dune (1984). Nobody can stop you.

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Bergamot Jones @bergamohjones.bsky.social · 5h

The communion wafer burned Lucy because she's a protestant, not because she's a vampire

Bergamot Jones @bergamohjones.bsky.social · 5h

Catholic vampire whom everyone assumes is sneaking blood on the side but when they finally catch him he's like "no, man, it's literally the blood and flesh of Christ, how do you believe in crosses and holy water but not the miracle of transubstantiation"

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Bergamot Jones @bergamohjones.bsky.social · 5h

I don't think anyone can save for three? Botched dental operations in a row

Bergamot Jones @bergamohjones.bsky.social · 5h

Me: Ah, the collet of yon high-efficiency fluorescent bulb is loos'd, but mark: p'raps pressure would correct it.
{the bulb explodes violently, spraying tiny shards of glass everywhere}
Me: Ah; my folly I've detected,
In a matter not expected;
Pressur'd gas I've not respected.

Bergamot Jones @bergamohjones.bsky.social · 9h

Someone who was born in 2001: All I have ever known is financial crashes, the US fighting interminable wars, and opioid crises

Someone born in 1980: All I have ever known is financial crashes, the US fighting interminable wars, and opioid crises

Someone born in 1960: Star Wars was pretty good

tweety fish of innsmouth @sifu.tweety.fish · 22h

youth culture, like named generations, is a transient effect of the baby boom and we'll be well rid of it

derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 22h

Tyler the Creator on whether youth culture still exists. I don't know if this is completely true, but it does seem more true today than in the past.

Bergamot Jones @bergamohjones.bsky.social · 10h

If you believe IMDB, Paul Newman rejected the lead role in every film he ever starred in, including a few he was the protagonist of

Reposted by Bergamot Jones

Katherine Stark @kastark.bsky.social · 14h

Casting spells and worshipping the devil in TTRPGs is so old school

Come to Lancer, where you get to be a woke gay antifa mech pilot fighting for communism

Dan Arndt Is Budgeting For PAXU @danarndtwrites.bsky.social · 23h

D&D is satanic again let's go

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Reposted by Bergamot Jones

Dia Lacina @dialacina.com · 1d

The cover of Everybody Poops with the subtitle added "(But you shit wrong, Pikachu)" and a tearful Pikachu and a mean pointing finger have been added to the grid of images on the cover

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Bergamot Jones @bergamohjones.bsky.social · 1d

People who are into EDM think I mean I went to an EDM show. People who are into ENM also think I mean EDM

Bergamot Jones @bergamohjones.bsky.social · 21d

I mixed up the initialisms "EDM" and "ENM" and accidentally had a lovely evening

Bergamot Jones @bergamohjones.bsky.social · 1d

Ottawa is a weird city—it has a bunch of small towns nearby, plus the other side of the river there's an equally large Quebecois city, Gatineau. So often people will say National Capital Region when they mean all of that. Which means I just got sniped by "Queer events in the NCR this weekend"

Reposted by Bergamot Jones

Miner Edgar @m155edgar.bsky.social · Sep 11

The Iron soldier is dead. The blade of diamond had dulled and lost it strength, the power of cyclones have dissipated into the air.

A Diabattles V2 unit sits abandoned in the harsh desert, as two suns set. Digitally composited Toy photography and stock images recreating the introduction of 'Fang of the Sun Dougram'.

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Bergamot Jones @bergamohjones.bsky.social · 1d

Now that's cinema. Immaculate

Alex Plante 🐀👑 @aplante.com · Apr 28

joe wright, director of pride & prejudice (2005) reading letterboxd reviews

3 photos

1. joe wright reading review by kylie (5 stars) "why does it zoom on on the pig like that"
2. a frame from the movie of a giant pig. joe wright voiceover:"because this pig turned up on the day"
3. joe wright looking down the barrel of the camera, saying "and it had the biggest balls i'd ever seen in my life"

Reposted by Bergamot Jones

Denice (Dee), the Red Witch @deetheredwitch.bsky.social · 1d

Good Morning, World.

Paper sign on a telephone pole that says 'the only boots worth licking are worn by goth girls'.

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Bergamot Jones @bergamohjones.bsky.social · 1d

Need some good choasts to feed the eggbug

Bergamot Jones @bergamohjones.bsky.social · 1d

These Demon Lords Are Chumps: My Fantasy Life In Another World Won't Stick!

Reposted by Bergamot Jones

reki ver ka @reki.gay · 1d

guy that keeps jumping under trucks to get isekai'd again but through some contrivance he gets isekai'd right back again every chapter

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Bergamot Jones @bergamohjones.bsky.social · 1d

Cured by stir fried tofu

Bergamot Jones @bergamohjones.bsky.social · 1d

I am afflicted with "didn't eat dinner before 11 pm" disease

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Bergamot Jones @bergamohjones.bsky.social · 2d

Tech companies should not be run by people who have never had to navigate a voice-based phone menu

Reposted by Bergamot Jones

haya🔞 @hayabusart.bsky.social · 11d

been workin on a new character

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Bergamot Jones @bergamohjones.bsky.social · 2d

The solutions being "don't live on nothing but beef and gin"

Bergamot Jones @bergamohjones.bsky.social · 2d

Coming down with diseases that have goofy names because we functionally solved them in the 1900s

Brooke @brooklynmarie.bsky.social · 3d

Jordan Peterson critically ill with pneumonia, neuropathy, and sepsis

Jordan Peterson is sick, and suffering from "spiritual attacks" (and surely it's not the drugs, or long COVID, or a meat-only diet, or...)

boingboing.net

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Reposted by Bergamot Jones

cb! @heckish.bsky.social · 2d

someone in my community has been detained by ICE and is seeking funds to cover legal fees and care for his daughter. please donate and share if you are able to: gofund.me/8a49e30bb

Donate to Ayudemos a nuestro amigo Reynaldo a recuperar su libertad, organized by Johely Quintero

Hace tres semanas, nuestro querido amigo Reinaldo fue detenid… Johely Quintero needs your support for Ayudemos a nuestro amigo Reynaldo a recuperar su libertad

gofund.me

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Bergamot Jones @bergamohjones.bsky.social · 2d

Only officers talk to the computer everyone else just uses the okudagrams like a normal person

Bergamot Jones @bergamohjones.bsky.social · 2d

I hate that the thing everyone takes away from Star Trek is "control the computer by speaking at full volume into the air like a complete asshole" and not the post-capitalist diversity-embracing culture of care and equality

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