Alistair Barrie
@alistairbarrie.com
Comedian, allegedly. Latest special 'Woke in Progress' out now on ITVX: www.alistairbarrie.com
I seem to remember Nigel Farage was prepared to ‘pick up a rifle’ if Brexit wasn’t delivered.
I wonder if he’ll be so keen to do the same if ‘the bravest man I know’ starts World War Three.
I wonder if he’ll be so keen to do the same if ‘the bravest man I know’ starts World War Three.
January 19, 2026 at 8:07 PM
I seem to remember Nigel Farage was prepared to ‘pick up a rifle’ if Brexit wasn’t delivered.
I wonder if he’ll be so keen to do the same if ‘the bravest man I know’ starts World War Three.
I wonder if he’ll be so keen to do the same if ‘the bravest man I know’ starts World War Three.
America is the land that elevated celebrity to preposterous heights.
I know which 80 year old American ‘celebrity’ I wish was in The White House.
I know which 80 year old American ‘celebrity’ I wish was in The White House.
Dolly Parton is 80 today. America would be much better if more Dollys had positions of prominence.
January 19, 2026 at 4:39 PM
America is the land that elevated celebrity to preposterous heights.
I know which 80 year old American ‘celebrity’ I wish was in The White House.
I know which 80 year old American ‘celebrity’ I wish was in The White House.
Absolute total complete and utter madness. Peak 2026. (It’s Jan 19th…)
“We have embedded a notorious US military surveillance company whose founder is a close ally of President Trump into the heart of our military at a moment in which the US is threatening to invade our NATO ally, Greenland.” – @carolecadwalla.bsky.social on Palantir
https://bit.ly/4sHG9al
https://bit.ly/4sHG9al
Peter Thiel's New Model Army
The Palantirisation of the UK military is a national security disaster
broligarchy.substack.com
January 19, 2026 at 2:55 PM
Absolute total complete and utter madness. Peak 2026. (It’s Jan 19th…)
Reposted by Alistair Barrie
There could be no pee tape or kompromat more embarrassing or damaging to Trump’s reputation than his record with Putin or frankly, his overall record as president.
Putin invited to join Trump's new Gaza Peace Board, Kremlin claims
Moscow is currently studying the proposal, Kremlin spokesperson Dmitry Peskov told reporters, according to state news agency TASS.
Moscow is currently studying the proposal, Kremlin spokesperson Dmitry Peskov told reporters, according to state news agency TASS.
Putin invited to join Trump's new Gaza Peace Board, Kremlin claims
kyivindependent.com
January 19, 2026 at 2:37 PM
There could be no pee tape or kompromat more embarrassing or damaging to Trump’s reputation than his record with Putin or frankly, his overall record as president.
You know it's a strange day when you find yourself feeling pissed off on behalf of Kemi Badenoch.
But then that is the unfeasible power wielded by Robutter Jenprick.
But then that is the unfeasible power wielded by Robutter Jenprick.
Robert Jenrick repeatedly and deliberately mispronounces Kemi Badenoch's family name, and when questioned says "If you think this is important, you need your head checking". Migrants and ethnic minorities have heard this for years - it is a coded message we don't fit in. Coded xenophobia and racism.
January 19, 2026 at 2:23 PM
You know it's a strange day when you find yourself feeling pissed off on behalf of Kemi Badenoch.
But then that is the unfeasible power wielded by Robutter Jenprick.
But then that is the unfeasible power wielded by Robutter Jenprick.
Reposted by Alistair Barrie
If you make your money by working you pay twice the rate of tax as someone who uses money to make money - there’s nothing right or fair about that - it can't be justified. Our tax rules were written by people with money - for people with money.
buff.ly/nRpjFq0
buff.ly/nRpjFq0
January 19, 2026 at 11:38 AM
If you make your money by working you pay twice the rate of tax as someone who uses money to make money - there’s nothing right or fair about that - it can't be justified. Our tax rules were written by people with money - for people with money.
buff.ly/nRpjFq0
buff.ly/nRpjFq0
Reposted by Alistair Barrie
I've harped on congressional war powers for a long time and we do need to fix all that, but threatening to invade Greenland while ranting at Norway about the Nobel Peace Prize and imposing trade sanctions on NATO is more the kind of thing you can only fix by not having a literally insane president.
January 19, 2026 at 8:35 AM
I've harped on congressional war powers for a long time and we do need to fix all that, but threatening to invade Greenland while ranting at Norway about the Nobel Peace Prize and imposing trade sanctions on NATO is more the kind of thing you can only fix by not having a literally insane president.
Today I am mostly enjoying the fact the cat has mastered the dog flap but the dog very much has not.
January 19, 2026 at 9:57 AM
Today I am mostly enjoying the fact the cat has mastered the dog flap but the dog very much has not.
Like watching a pond argue with a puddle:
Liz Truss hits out at Robert Jenrick over his comments in The Times asking why she is still a Tory member
January 18, 2026 at 10:55 PM
Like watching a pond argue with a puddle:
Given that the overwhelming majority of Britons now seem to agree Brexit was an absolute disaster, I'd love to know why so many people think voting for/defecting to the party whose leader apparently staked his entire reputation on it being a good idea is...a good idea.
January 18, 2026 at 10:19 PM
Given that the overwhelming majority of Britons now seem to agree Brexit was an absolute disaster, I'd love to know why so many people think voting for/defecting to the party whose leader apparently staked his entire reputation on it being a good idea is...a good idea.
Siri: How many non-sequiturs can you fit in the same statement?
January 18, 2026 at 3:22 PM
Siri: How many non-sequiturs can you fit in the same statement?
Reposted by Alistair Barrie
I think the White House badly underestimates the strength of the pan-European folk memory of 1930s appeasement, and how deep it still cuts. I suppose this is what happens when you learn in school that WW2 started in 1941 in Hawaii.
January 18, 2026 at 1:04 PM
I think the White House badly underestimates the strength of the pan-European folk memory of 1930s appeasement, and how deep it still cuts. I suppose this is what happens when you learn in school that WW2 started in 1941 in Hawaii.
F*ck me. What bit of fawning to a multiple bankrupt, criminal, sex offending, fraudulent, weird, senile, thin-skinned, petulant, bribing, adulterous, congenitally lying, deceitful, monstrous, idiotic, decrepit f*ckwit (have I missed anything?) really does it you Mr Stanley?
Abhorrent prick(s).
Abhorrent prick(s).
These so-called "patriotic" 🇬🇧newspapers who brought you Brexit were never really patriotic at all.
They are driven by a disdain for Britain's European neighbours, and a fawning obsession with America.
They do not really want 🇬🇧 to be sovereign. They're content being a 🇺🇸vassal.
They are driven by a disdain for Britain's European neighbours, and a fawning obsession with America.
They do not really want 🇬🇧 to be sovereign. They're content being a 🇺🇸vassal.
January 18, 2026 at 8:58 AM
F*ck me. What bit of fawning to a multiple bankrupt, criminal, sex offending, fraudulent, weird, senile, thin-skinned, petulant, bribing, adulterous, congenitally lying, deceitful, monstrous, idiotic, decrepit f*ckwit (have I missed anything?) really does it you Mr Stanley?
Abhorrent prick(s).
Abhorrent prick(s).
The more I think about it, the more I believe this is a seriously good idea.
It would also present us with a fantastic excuse for failing to make it out of the group stage.
It would also present us with a fantastic excuse for failing to make it out of the group stage.
What Europe could do is threaten to boycott the World Cup. It won't. But that might actually work. Trump wants his big show.
January 17, 2026 at 11:50 PM
The more I think about it, the more I believe this is a seriously good idea.
It would also present us with a fantastic excuse for failing to make it out of the group stage.
It would also present us with a fantastic excuse for failing to make it out of the group stage.
Perfectly normal job:
Just got threatened with legal action by a heckler (who interrupted my gig to call me a sex offender) after I made him apologise to me in front of the entire audience & then refused to apologise to HIM afterwards. Apparently his ‘partner is a solicitor’.
They walk among us. 🙄
Just got threatened with legal action by a heckler (who interrupted my gig to call me a sex offender) after I made him apologise to me in front of the entire audience & then refused to apologise to HIM afterwards. Apparently his ‘partner is a solicitor’.
They walk among us. 🙄
January 17, 2026 at 11:40 PM
Perfectly normal job:
Just got threatened with legal action by a heckler (who interrupted my gig to call me a sex offender) after I made him apologise to me in front of the entire audience & then refused to apologise to HIM afterwards. Apparently his ‘partner is a solicitor’.
They walk among us. 🙄
Just got threatened with legal action by a heckler (who interrupted my gig to call me a sex offender) after I made him apologise to me in front of the entire audience & then refused to apologise to HIM afterwards. Apparently his ‘partner is a solicitor’.
They walk among us. 🙄
If only there were some examples of authoritarian rulers making ever more ridiculous territorial demands until someone stood up to them that ended badly.
January 17, 2026 at 7:13 PM
If only there were some examples of authoritarian rulers making ever more ridiculous territorial demands until someone stood up to them that ended badly.
Reposted by Alistair Barrie
What Europe could do is threaten to boycott the World Cup. It won't. But that might actually work. Trump wants his big show.
January 17, 2026 at 6:51 PM
What Europe could do is threaten to boycott the World Cup. It won't. But that might actually work. Trump wants his big show.
I reckon Denmark offers to swap Greenland for New York.
I reckon a lot of New Yorkers would go for it and they could start by demolishing Trump Tower.
I reckon a lot of New Yorkers would go for it and they could start by demolishing Trump Tower.
January 17, 2026 at 7:01 PM
I reckon Denmark offers to swap Greenland for New York.
I reckon a lot of New Yorkers would go for it and they could start by demolishing Trump Tower.
I reckon a lot of New Yorkers would go for it and they could start by demolishing Trump Tower.
Reposted by Alistair Barrie
It will not surprise you to learn that Toby Youngs 'Free Speech Union' has obtained a High Court injunction banning the publication of a list of its donors open.substack.com/pub/democrac...
Who funds the Free Speech Union?
Toby Young’s outfit went to court to hide its donors. Today we reveal that funders include US anti-abortion groups, Brexit politicians and Tufton Street insiders.
open.substack.com
January 17, 2026 at 8:45 AM
It will not surprise you to learn that Toby Youngs 'Free Speech Union' has obtained a High Court injunction banning the publication of a list of its donors open.substack.com/pub/democrac...
This would be a lot more convincing if she was bundled off camera by ICE agents after ten seconds.
Melania is delivering a speech on AI that sounds like it was written by AI
January 16, 2026 at 11:07 PM
This would be a lot more convincing if she was bundled off camera by ICE agents after ten seconds.
I was once awarded a life sentence in Alcatraz with no parole.
(Post-truth answer.)
(Post-truth answer.)
If you could give up one prize from your life's work to Donald Trump then what would it be?
January 16, 2026 at 11:04 PM
I was once awarded a life sentence in Alcatraz with no parole.
(Post-truth answer.)
(Post-truth answer.)
I have nobly decided to present Donald Trump with the prize for winning my school debating competition in 1989 to mark the way everybody says he’s the greatest speaker ever, like the best a really great oraltor which many many people have said and also to ensure world peace.
January 15, 2026 at 10:28 PM
I have nobly decided to present Donald Trump with the prize for winning my school debating competition in 1989 to mark the way everybody says he’s the greatest speaker ever, like the best a really great oraltor which many many people have said and also to ensure world peace.
Reposted by Alistair Barrie
Some analogies are so stark it would be remiss to not see them
When was the last time you can remember when insurrectionists like the Proud Boys were rewarded with roles in a new government paramilitary force like ICE?
To help your quest for historical echoes maybe start with the Munich Putsch
When was the last time you can remember when insurrectionists like the Proud Boys were rewarded with roles in a new government paramilitary force like ICE?
To help your quest for historical echoes maybe start with the Munich Putsch
January 15, 2026 at 7:04 PM
Some analogies are so stark it would be remiss to not see them
When was the last time you can remember when insurrectionists like the Proud Boys were rewarded with roles in a new government paramilitary force like ICE?
To help your quest for historical echoes maybe start with the Munich Putsch
When was the last time you can remember when insurrectionists like the Proud Boys were rewarded with roles in a new government paramilitary force like ICE?
To help your quest for historical echoes maybe start with the Munich Putsch
Reform and the Tories now resembling one of those bands who had some big hits a decade or two ago before the main players had a spectacular falling out and now tour separately under variations of the name.
Imagine if UB40 were from deepest Surrey.
Imagine if UB40 were from deepest Surrey.
January 15, 2026 at 7:22 PM
Reform and the Tories now resembling one of those bands who had some big hits a decade or two ago before the main players had a spectacular falling out and now tour separately under variations of the name.
Imagine if UB40 were from deepest Surrey.
Imagine if UB40 were from deepest Surrey.
I mean in fairness, being ‘the most shameless man in parliament’ would seem to evince *some* sort of talent.
So it couldn’t be Jenrick.
So it couldn’t be Jenrick.
A month ago someone in Jenrick's team got in touch to complain that I'd called him "the most shameless man in parliament." I mean.
January 15, 2026 at 4:58 PM
I mean in fairness, being ‘the most shameless man in parliament’ would seem to evince *some* sort of talent.
So it couldn’t be Jenrick.
So it couldn’t be Jenrick.