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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 6h

Well, to be fair, for once he’s not wrong.

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 7h

Vine tomatoes? What is he - fucking royalty???

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 7h

Christ. This is like the girl you dumped unceremoniously, then went back to a few months later saying you’d made a terrible mistake only to find she’s hardly thought about you once and is posting stuff like this all over her social media leaving you in no doubt whatsoever she’s much, much happier.

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Reposted by Alistair Barrie

Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧 @tollytb.bsky.social · 19h

"Do you still get paid in Roubles Ted?"
🐢💨

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 1d

I mean, I even said I was nearly done… #lastgag

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 1d

Ah. Premier Inn WiFi. The merest waft of reception to let you know there is some available, but probably best if you just pay for it.

I’d love to hear the sales pitch: “Oh god it won’t work, no! But it will be enough to give your guests an inkling of hope.”

(This post took 15 goes to send.)

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 1d

Worked for Emma Hamilton…

Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 1d

Imagine being 19 and opting for that haircut out of choice? Vampire meets Nazi War Criminal meets Patrick Bateman meets Mad.

Totally normal kid to walk into a multi-million dollar role at a company his dad just ‘brokered’ a deal for.

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 1d

Dammit!

Right.

Gorky Smiths
Golden Suspicious
Red Lady
Cvox’s
Bramski
Royal Goner
Red Sonja

Bugger. Still none as good as Russets. 😤

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 1d

The women in my mother’s family tend to go on and on. Her mother went to her late nineties, and my Great Aunt Chrissie made it to 103 or 4. Her philosophy being ‘if you can’t laugh, what can you do?’
World’s most infectious giggle, especially when shared with her baby sister (my gran.) ❤️😊

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 1d

Unsolicited Mick lick.

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 2d

Call me naive, but I still retain an innocent belief that my country contains enough sane humans who know he’s a cunt. He may be riding high on a populist/fallen Tory polling wave, but I still refuse to entertain the notion we would ever dream of making him our leader.

I will emigrate. Ironically.

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 2d

Definitely starting to think the most offensive thing about the Riyadh Conedy Festival is the number of variations on ‘They tried to make me go to Riyadh, I said…’

No. No. And no.

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 2d

I’m not disagreeing with the dumbness and the losernrss, but surely, given the entire Trump edifice is built on grievance, all he has done here is create another one. The fact it is based on a complete falsehood is now very clearly a feature, not a bug.

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 2d

I’ve know Omid 25 years and I suspect his motives are a bit more nuanced than that, especially given his very public stance against the Iranian regime.
Chapelle not so much.
And I do think you can subtly shift perceptions through comedy, if not effect change.
I just don’t agree with his call here.

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 2d

‘I feel there is enormous change coming to South Africa, and that is why I played Sun City’ is the same argument, basically.
Except, it’s not like Paul Simon employing black SA musicians is it?
Excellent piece here on what it’s REALLY like being a Saudi comic…

‘Amoral, evil’: vitriolic backlash builds against comics who played Riyadh festival

Murder by bone-saw, lashings for rape victims, punishment amputation, jail for satirists … these are the Saudi human rights abuses fuelling the fury being directed at the likes of Louis CK, Dave Chapp...

www.theguardian.com

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 2d

We’re back to the ‘Boots’ theory of why poverty is so expensive.

Omid is a good friend & a great comic. He makes some fair points here. Given his heritage, I can’t lecture him. But given the ‘geopolitical’ state of the planet right now, especially post-Khashoggi, I’m very disappointed he went.

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 2d

Yup. Britain’s oldest person at the time apparently. Go Gladys!

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 2d

Ah, another person accusing me of ‘snooping’.
I gave that up in about 1984 when I stopped looking for my Christmas presents. I snooped that entire house from top to bottom years ago.
My parents are not going to be there much longer.
There is a world of difference between ‘snooping’ and ‘finding’.

Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 2d

Wow. Way to let me down gently. 😜

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 2d

Absolutely it is.
But I would suggest any reasonable person would agree it’s at least an…’interesting’ choice of bedside decor for the spare room. 😊

Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 2d

Aw. What a nice take. 😊

(Paging all the pompous LACK OF RESPECT people who are so bound up
in their self-important notions of respect they forget to show any of their own…)

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 2d

Oh, could not agree more. Some incredibly pompous asses presuming they can speak for both my parents and the friends they’ve lost. Which reveals a great more about them than they realise. (And not in a good way!)
My mum and I laughed. That’ll do for me. 😊

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 2d

Slightly cynical take.

(Also suspect you’re completely correct. 😜)

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 2d

It says you have a sense of humour, but also compassion and respect.

Nothing wrong with that. 😊

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