Joel
@itsjoels.bsky.social
2.2K followers 1.3K following 18K posts
I wore a tie like Richard Gere.
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itsjoels.bsky.social
Harvey Price time then.

In 2016, I had an ill fated stint as the Social Media Producer on Loose Women on ITV. It was a disaster, I should never have applied for the job, I certainly shouldn’t have been given it. I could do the actual job standing on my head, but the politics of the place…woof.
itsjoels.bsky.social
Massive “prove me wrong, kids!” vibes here.
Reposted by Joel
realpaulputner.bsky.social
I love my local offy. You already feel drunk before you even step into the premises.
itsjoels.bsky.social
Has there ever been a bigger disparity between television show and its theme than Weekend World? I mean, that theme was some fucking hard rocking shit, then it’s Brian Walden talking about train franchises or something.
itsjoels.bsky.social
Neil Buchanan looks wrong in a suit and tie.
Neil Buchanan in a suit and tie.
Reposted by Joel
rufustsuperfly.bsky.social
Milei looks like all the cast of Are You Being Served in one
itsjoels.bsky.social
Waterloo Road casting meeting

“So, we got rid of the shit Northern comedian that everyone hates. Who can replace him?”

“How’s about the other shit Northern comedian that everyone hates?”

“He’s the man for the job!”
Reposted by Joel
daveyjones.bsky.social
At last! Now they've finally realised what AI is for, perhaps they'll stop trying to foist it on every other aspect of our lives
Panel of an old Roger Mellie cartoon - from about 30-odd years ago - in which he is presenting a 'wanking machine' which he has invented for Tomorrow's World. Drawn by Chris Donald.
itsjoels.bsky.social
Sam Matterface. “The ball allegedly went out of play”. It’s not up on a rape charge.
Reposted by Joel
tylerhuckabee.bsky.social
In 2004, Parisian police were conducting a training exercise in the french catacombs and found, after moving past a desk and a tape playing audio of snarling dogs, a fully functional movie theater and bar. When they returned 3 days later, the equipment was gone, with a note: “Do not try to find us.”
Members of the force's sports squad, responsible
- among other tasks - for policing the 170 miles of tunnels, caves, galleries and catacombs that underlie large parts of Paris, stumbled on the complex while on a training exercise beneath the Palais de Chaillot, across the Seine from the Eiffel Tower.
After entering the network through a drain next to the Trocadero, the officers came across a tarpaulin marked: Building site, No access.
Behind that, a tunnel held a desk and a closed-circuit TV camera set to automatically record images of anyone passing. The mechanism also triggered a tape of dogs barking, "clearly designed to frighten people off," the spokesman said.
Further along, the tunnel opened into a vast 400 sq metre cave some 18m underground, "like an underground amphitheatre, with terraces cut into the rock and chairs". There the police found a full-sized cinema screen, projection equipment, and tapes of a wide variety of films, including 1950s film noir classics and more recent thrillers. None of the films were banned or even offensive, the spokesman said.
A smaller cave next door had been turned into an informal restaurant and bar. "There were bottles of whisky and other spirits behind a bar, tables and chairs, a pressure-cooker for making couscous," the spokesman said.
"The whole thing ran off a professionally installed electricity system and there were at least three phone lines down there."
Three days later, when the police returned accompanied by experts from the French electricity board to see where the power was coming from, the phone and electricity lines had been cut and a note was lying in the middle of the floor: "Do not," it said, "try to find us."
Reposted by Joel
griffinkate.bsky.social
PSA: Boots normally charges £18 for its Covid test bundle, but today you can get it for £10 in the Ten-Quid Tuesday deal.

The bundle is 2 packs of 5 tests each, so 10 tests in total.

We're currently in a Covid wave, so it's a really good idea to have some test kits in the house just in case!
itsjoels.bsky.social
They were brought toys and treats by everyone who came to check on them.
itsjoels.bsky.social
Oh, I know. Wasting away.
itsjoels.bsky.social
I haven’t been forgiven for leaving at the weekend.
itsjoels.bsky.social
Some happy rebrand company will have changed them tens of thousands for this. Meanwhile, iPhone prices are rising rising.
lukefoley.me
A “vibrant new identity” and all they’re doing is just taking away the + and calling it a rebrand lmfao
Headline of an article in bold black text that reads as follows –

Apple TV+ Rebrands to Apple
TV, Ditching the Plus Sign for
'Vibrant New Identity'
itsjoels.bsky.social
Might be a sock puppet account for a dog.
itsjoels.bsky.social
Made in colours to appeal to dogs, so kids can watch it with their pets.
Reposted by Joel
joeposting.bsky.social
Dads love to text "Call me when you have a minute" with no way to tell if your family has suffered a terrible tragedy, or if he just needs help with the router.
itsjoels.bsky.social
“And after three weeks, you’ll find a red sock! Where do the socks go? Does the washing machine just love eating socks or something? Hey, black guys drive like this!”
itsjoels.bsky.social
How wonderful. (This is not sarcastic.) 🙂