another good Breaking Bad laff: Walt breaks the glass door to get in Saul's locked office, the secretary won't tell where Saul is without a bribe. Instead of just unlocking the door and leaving to go get cash, Walt exits BACK THROUGH THE BROKEN GLASS

Great Reacher joke, season 2 spoiler:

HENCHMAN: he booked the motel under the name Starlin Castro

ROBERT PATRICK: That's a baseball player, he's a Yankees fan

HENCHMAN: the woman used the name Sarah Connor, who's that?

ROBERT PATRICK: I don't give a shit

The screenshot attached is both an insanely funny post and a 90% accurate summary of roughly every third scene in Reacher

Doesn't feel like a great idea to have the vitamin D, which you can guzzle down like candy, look so similar to the bupropion, which if you have 151 mg in 24 hours instead of 150 mg you'll have a heart attack

if it was smart it would know I don't wanna download that shit!

Wouldn't wanna be some materiel at pax right now

my friend just shared this with me

Me when you try to get under my skin by saying something mean online

Really puts the scale of this conflict into perspective when a phrase like "disproportionate majority" is itself an insulting understatement

Playfully spraying my neighbour with the hose as he's loaded into the coroners van

Designed with gamers in mind.

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark, also near the shoulder of Orion. Another time, when I was at the shoulder of Orion, look I didn't say I've traveled to a lot of places

Trump to China: obey my command or I will destroy the United States

It's funny what's easy and hard to do artificially. Ask a video game programmer for two fleets of giant battleships pelting each other with lasers and they'll say cool, if you ask them for a sad man drinking a glass of water they'll say "are you fucking insane"

Everyone was mad about the big technology of the setting blowing up and main characters dying but I liked all that, my beef was "how tf am I supposed to know which characters fucked after the credits?"

To be fair, republicans have for a long time existed in this bizarre space where an objective description of their words and actions sounds comically slanderous. You can't just SAY "they're beating people for fun and feeding them to alligators when they get bored" you gotta work your way up to it

the right has all the billionaires

I heard the term "emotional labour" once and I don't know what it means but I inferred from context that it means something bad in a relationship so I'll just throw it in here somewhere

that being said. the next president should bulldoze his ballroom and any triumphal arches or other monuments he builds to himself

uh at this time the harpoon was uh kinetically entered into an active uh hurling situation

classic weasel journalism passive voice

the noble preece pi- uh surprise