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Surprised Face Guy

@surprisedface.bsky.social

8.2K followers 530 following 16K posts

You could be one of my first 10,000 followers. Time is not running out. Ranked one of the Top 10 Surprised Face Guys on Bluesky, 2023. Sorry in advance: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaly5qgvbn52

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Surprised Face Guy @surprisedface.bsky.social · Jul 16

Him: “What fresh hell awaits us today.”

Her: “… okay look, no offense, but after this appointment I’m going to find a new gynecologist.”

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Surprised Face Guy @surprisedface.bsky.social · 23m

Fantastic

Surprised Face Guy @surprisedface.bsky.social · 3h

Those are the basic settings of Microsoft Teams.

Surprised Face Guy @surprisedface.bsky.social · 3h

they're dangerous if you PISS THEM OFF

Surprised Face Guy @surprisedface.bsky.social · 4h

It is such a mystery how Americans become so violent. Anyway, at least the murder gore holiday where we give children sugary sweets for dressing like serial killers will be here soon to cheer me up.

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Surprised Face Guy @surprisedface.bsky.social · 13h

WHAT THE FUCK CEEJ

Reposted by Surprised Face Guy

Surprised Face Guy @surprisedface.bsky.social · Apr 11

Me: [pointing to lettuce] “ICEBERG RIGHT AHEAD!”

My wife [groaning audibly]: “okay first of all, again, that’s a cabbage.”

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Reposted by Surprised Face Guy

Surprised Face Guy @surprisedface.bsky.social · Mar 5

Me: “Double or nothing.”

The Judge at My Sentencing: “Okay, first of all, that’s not how this works.”

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Reposted by Surprised Face Guy

Surprised Face Guy @surprisedface.bsky.social · Nov 4

Lady (sexily): "tonight, why don't we use your toys again"

Batman: "I would like that. In the first batdrawer is the batdildo and the batwhip"

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Reposted by Surprised Face Guy

Surprised Face Guy @surprisedface.bsky.social · Oct 21

I am pro-procrastinating. Don't stress about it early. Live your life and get it done as fast as you can last minute.

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Surprised Face Guy @surprisedface.bsky.social · 13h

the Discover Tab circa 2023 would have made the Folsom Street Fair be like "you know, guys, this is a bit much."

Surprised Face Guy @surprisedface.bsky.social · 13h

"Sure, bread is great. But have you considered burning it?" ~James Toast, 4069 BCE

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Surprised Face Guy @surprisedface.bsky.social · 13h

hopefully that dude won some type of nobel prize

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Reposted by Surprised Face Guy

d.ly @dly.bsky.social · 15h

soup is crazy one day someone said dinner will be wet

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Surprised Face Guy @surprisedface.bsky.social · 13h

I've said this many times but people that joined Bluesky in 2024 do not know what it was like to be on Bluesky mid-2023, and describing it accurately sounds like an exaggerated shitpost.

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Reposted by Surprised Face Guy

Chaminda Jayanetti @cjayanetti.bsky.social · 1d

"Post you from a different era" is middle-aged Bluesky code for "lemme see you when you were hot"

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Surprised Face Guy @surprisedface.bsky.social · 13h

Oh wow they're alive.

Surprised Face Guy @surprisedface.bsky.social · 14h

Be right back, gotta go milk the lizard.

Surprised Face Guy @surprisedface.bsky.social · 21h

In another timeline he’s being picked to lead the FBI

Reposted by Surprised Face Guy

KAFUI 🇬🇭 @mykafuiohkafui.bsky.social · 5d

John Fetterman represents an incredibly important and underserved demographic. Future family annihilators have long been ignored by those in power. That ends now.