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Sooz Kempner

@soozuk.bsky.social

54K followers 710 following 17K posts

"Comedian". DOOM in @bbcdoctorwho. Host @mysteryontherocks.bsky.social Acting: The Foundry Management VO: The Joneses For all enquiries and brand partnerships – [email protected] she/her www.soozkempner.co.uk/gigs

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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 26d

www.soozkempner.co.uk/gigs

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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 10m

Oh I miss it.

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Reposted by Sooz Kempner

Joel Morris @gralefrit.bsky.social · 14m

When I sort the deal for the paperback of Be Funny Or Die, this is the edit I want to do before publication. The idea of Twitter as an active space to perform and consume comedy is the thing that now feels incomprehensible, badly dated, and that’s only a year or so ago now.

Athena Kugblenu @athenakugblenu.bsky.social · 34m

just finished Yellowface and my takeaway is just how irrelevant Twitter has become. The way it is used by creatives, commentators and consumers is central to the novel. Now, the idea that an artist would care about Twitter feels dated. Tweets used to make the news. Truth Social gets more press now

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Reposted by Sooz Kempner

Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · May 8

Just heard that the new Pope is going go be animated using Mode 7.

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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 1h

m8 i watched him win his seat live

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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 2h

Yeah people are FURIOUS now.

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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 2h

Man, that is one EXTREMELY overturnable majority!

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Reposted by Sooz Kempner

Siobhan Craig - DarkEden21 @darkeden21.bsky.social · 2h

List of Labour MPs who are openly transphobic nowadays and who to vote for to unseat them.

1) Tonia Antoniazzi

Transphobic for years. Open GC. Behind the "Women's Dec" for Labour

Constituency: Gower
Maj: 11567

Suggested vote: Plaid Cymru

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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 2h

i mean, i don't tbf

Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 2h

Yeah, it's amazing isn't it hahahaha. Trump can't let the attention be off him for more than a minute and a half.

Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 2h

I DIDN'T MAKE ANY OF THOSE UP HE SAID ALL THOSE THINGS

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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 2h

At Charlie Kirk's posthumous Medal of Freedom ceremony yesterday (dead podcaster wins prize) Trump gave a long speech....which of these things do you think I made up?

1. He talked about how fit Kirk's wife is
2. He compared Kirk to MLK
3. He bragged that he dodged his bullet but Charlie didn't

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Reposted by Sooz Kempner

Byline Times @bylinetimes.bsky.social · 2h

🔴Keir Starmer’s ‘Brexit Is Bad, Let’s Make It a Bit Worse’ Strategy

The Chancellor just admitted that Brexit has been an economic disaster. It’s time the Government stopped making it even worse by imitating Nigel Farage’s damaging anti-migration agenda, argues @adambienkov.bsky.social

Keir Starmer's 'Brexit Is Bad, Let's Make It a Bit Worse' Strategy

The Chancellor just admitted that Brexit has been an economic disaster. It's time the Government stopped making it even worse by imitating Nigel Farage's damaging anti-migration agenda, argues Adam Bi...

bylinetimes.com

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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 2h

can i say something

Coates is Odd This Day @oddthisday.bsky.social · 5h

It’s the 111th anniversary today of the birth of Harry Rée, who was a teacher and conscientious objector when the Second World War broke out, and by the time it ended, when he was 31, had invented ‘blackmail sabotage’ and got a DSO, an OBE, a Croix de Guerre, and a Medaille de la Resistance

b/w photo of a man in socks and sandals, jacket, short and jumper, in front of a wall with a bike leaning on it, and with a pipe in his mouth. If you wanted one image to sum up the word ‘nonchalant’, this would be it

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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 2h

Important Facetime with @mbalazo.bsky.social.

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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 3h

awwwww that's so nice!

Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 3h

80. Divine Comedy

(I actually think this is an amazing name for a horse)

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Reposted by Sooz Kempner

Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · Apr 12

Wind Beneath My Wings is the most arrogant song ever written. Thanks for meekly sitting in the background asking for literally nothing you unremarkable cuck.

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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 3h

ahhhhhh x

Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 3h

Anyway, that was her last night deciding I was worthy of a hang.

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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 3h

I have two cats but Brian May rarely features in pics because she rarely wants to hang out in a photo-friendly way. She's just not a cuddle monster. We still call her "the baby" even though she is 15. She got to 6 months old and didn't grow another mm so she'll always be the baby.

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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 4h

I've also got a splitting headache this morning which is probably due to me being minutes from death or something.

Reposted by Sooz Kempner

Take the clown statue and get out! WE DON'T HAVE ANY KIDS!!! @brainmage.bsky.social · 4h

"I used AI to generate videos of girls who wanted me" BRING BACK BULLYING! STUFF THESE NERDS IN LOCKERS *IMMEDIATELY*! EVERY SECOND THAT PASSES WITH THEM UNWEDGIED IS TENS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS AND GALLONS OF WATER SQUANDERED!!!

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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 4h

That'll be a new experience for him of course.

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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 4h

So far I've had replies telling me that it's NOT coz of COVID it's because of:

1) psoriasis, a thing I don't have
2) type 2 diabetes, a thing I DEFINITELY don't have
3) "u r old"

Classic Bluesky.

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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 4h

I THOUGHT THAT! I'm sure it's plastic and can be taken apart but also MAYBE it's glass and one piece and is permanently crudded up with sugar.

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