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Juliet Brando

@sliderulesyou.bsky.social

3.2K followers 1.3K following 2.8K posts

Writer. Artist. Abominatrix. This is a place of comedy, cats, and silliness, with occasional hand-made imp-based jewellery and oddities.

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Juliet Brando @sliderulesyou.bsky.social · Nov 17

If you like the things I say on here, buy me a wine: ko-fi.com/i/IL4L2G7ZNQ

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Juliet Brando @sliderulesyou.bsky.social · 18h

This may be why I am better as a single person. I've been wondering what the concept of "love" is, and why there aren't more than a few different terms for it by now (I know them, so don't come at me in the replies). When I'm with someone I need specifics, and then analyse which, and why.

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Juliet Brando @sliderulesyou.bsky.social · 19h

Person on Married at First Sight: "-but do you love her though?"

Me, neurodivergent, at the telly: "for clarity though, and in this specific context, how are you defining "love"?"

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Juliet Brando @sliderulesyou.bsky.social · 20h

My favourite thing is when someone in a vehicle (e.g. a bus) waves at a colleague driving the other way in a similar vehicle.

Today I was driving behind an ambulance, and their approaching (adult, paramedic) ambulance friend flapped and grinned at them with the glee of a tiny child.

Made my day.

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chiller @thechiller.bsky.social · 1d

This whole modern fad where people actually want their kids to survive, preferably untraumatised, into adulthood is an abomination! What next? Make it illegal to abandon old folks on the moors? IT'S PC GONE MAD.

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Juliet Brando @sliderulesyou.bsky.social · 1d

This is brilliant. When I was a child, every concrete and scaffolding playground had at least one unnecessary death in its recent past, and every class at school had at least one pupil, at any time, with a limb in a cast. BLOODY HEALTH AND SAFETY!

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chiller @thechiller.bsky.social · 1d

I wrote a lovely poem about the good old days, to go with the nice pink one off Facebook that's quoted below.

The Good Old Days

Tuberculosis, ricketts
Polio and smog
He kicked the wife for five days
On weekends kicked the dog
The choir boys were fiddled with
The priest put round the plate
And then those lads went off to war
And mental health was great.
My gran made broth with only bone
She couldn't afford cheese
And several of her kids died
From preventable disease
Wasn't allowed a bank account
Couldn't get a job
Tuberculosis, ricketts
Polio and smog.

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~daniel_barker~ @daniel-barker.bsky.social · 1d

Hate it when Bluesky goes down and I have to find time to angrily misunderstand my own jokes

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Mr. Chau @srirachachau.bsky.social · 1d

Long story short, an actual Nazi doxxing ring. Enough people reported them that they went away for like 12 hours and then Elon personally brought them back. The site is dead. If you’re still on there, go lock your account right now

chris @knightscrest.bsky.social · 1d

what even happened on the other site this time

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Dan McPainInTheKnees @danmckee.bsky.social · 1d

That bsky outage was horrible. I had to shitpost at my friend for half an hour which led to an “are you all right?” Text

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Joel Morris @gralefrit.bsky.social · 1d

Today is the 100th anniversary of the birth of Tony Hart. And the 1st, 2nd, 4th, 6th, 7th, 11th and 15th anniversary of his death.

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HappyToast @happytoast.co.uk · 1d

Monster Month day 15

A pink cartoon character covered in faces

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~daniel_barker~ @daniel-barker.bsky.social · 1d

Tell me your most unhinged opinion about broken doors.

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Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 1d

Good news everyone! Gozer is here!

Giant marshmallow man spotted in West Derby

Why there is a giant marshmallow man on a residential street

www.liverpoolecho.co.uk

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Ewamore, Quoth the Raven @ewacat.bsky.social · 1d

you know how i am easily amused right? well this has broken me

Luke Plunkett @lukeplunkett.com · 1d

kids teacher just sent this home as part of an assignment he's doing and i want to smash every computer at the school

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Justin Lewis @whenisbirths.bsky.social · 1d

I don't have an 'unhinged' opinion about Doctor Who, I don't know enough about it, but I like that all the people I know who love it, and may disagree on aspects of it, can clearly still laugh about it at some level. And that's important.

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Moose Allain @mooseallain.bsky.social · 1d

Just tried to go to a cafe, the doors were open so we went in. They said, Sorry, we don’t open until 10, can you wait outside please? I checked the time, it was 9.59.

That level of unwelcoming pettiness is not a place I want to spend any time.

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Juliet Brando @sliderulesyou.bsky.social · 1d

Looking at this photo, I initially wondered what the very small people thought of the very big trees, before realising I'm chronically exhausted.

Gordon Nodrog @gordonnodrog.bsky.social · 1d

Godshill Model Village is as bizarre as it is adorable.

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Gordon Nodrog @gordonnodrog.bsky.social · 1d

Godshill Model Village is as bizarre as it is adorable.

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Juliet Brando @sliderulesyou.bsky.social · 1d

Thread:

Stellaween? @antlervel.vet · 1d

A daughter asks her father how old he is. He says “Why, that’s simple. I will always be twice your age.” How old is the daughter

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Ruth Husko @dankackroyd.bsky.social · 1d

Been doing this for years and not a single headline

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Ed Morrish @edmorrish.bsky.social · 1d

what’s your most unhinged opinion about engagement farming?

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Ewamore, Quoth the Raven @ewacat.bsky.social · 1d

Came to work as a scandi murder detective

A woman with longish reddish brown hair standing like a fool in a toilet cubicle in front of a mirror, wearing blue jeans and a knitted woollen men's jumper like she's in Deadwind or something. If anyone gets murdered I will have angst about it and turn my personal life upside down to solve it.

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Stellaween? @antlervel.vet · 2d

Dreamed last night that Skrillex, an artist I have never listened to and am unsure if he still does stuff, released a CBD drink called Skrelax. “The ultimate in skrelaxation”. Ok

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Juliet Brando @sliderulesyou.bsky.social · 1d

Yes! And Fran, who I was so sad to hear died last week. Send him my love, and tell him how much his Dad helped me when I was at my most frightened. It really made a difference during a dark time. X

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Juliet Brando @sliderulesyou.bsky.social · 1d

It was Tony Caunter, aka Roy off EastEnders, the kindest, loveliest guy, who passed away yesterday. Helping him while Dad was so ill - and I was falling apart - helped me more than he'll ever know. x

Juliet Brando @sliderulesyou.bsky.social · Apr 13

Things are still tough at the hospital. Dad's conscious and talking, but his readings are wobbly. Instead of the one magpie, I saw three together today, and a gull eating a flat pigeon in the carpark. The guy who used to be in a big soap opera is lovely. I helped him lift and move things today...

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