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Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩

@beardium.bsky.social

700 followers 460 following 4K posts

American by chance, not by choice. My YouTubes https://youtube.com/@josephlongwellbeardedturner?si=Nr42Z7DJC_7UGAlZ https://youtube.com/@longwellcraftworks?si=YVixuSxhEnXB4Dxl My online store: www.longwellcraftworks.com

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Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩 @beardium.bsky.social · Mar 16

Pushing on a pull door is how my shame spiral started this morning

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Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩 @beardium.bsky.social · 1h

Meet me at the urinal, bro.

Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩 @beardium.bsky.social · 1h

Mixing all three types of Chex together because I like to live dangerously

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Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩 @beardium.bsky.social · 1h

My crack addiction is splitting my ass in half

Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩 @beardium.bsky.social · 1h

Can I come over and make increasingly bad decisions?

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Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩 @beardium.bsky.social · 2h

I'd love a steak but I can't take out any more mortgages on my house

Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩 @beardium.bsky.social · 2h

Mike is hard

Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩 @beardium.bsky.social · 2h

I hate it here but I also hate the other place.

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Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩

Vivien @vivinterrupted.bsky.social · 1d

Talked to a friend who said: “That’s disappointing and shitty.”
And honestly, isn’t it all?

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Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩 @beardium.bsky.social · 3h

I was bitten by a radioactive tick while drinking a 7UP, and now I have lemon lyme disease.

Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩 @beardium.bsky.social · 7h

I have rabies

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Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩 @beardium.bsky.social · 7h

Like shit from an ass, so are the days of our lives

Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩 @beardium.bsky.social · 7h

Freddy won't let me work HIS street. Sorry, man

Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩 @beardium.bsky.social · 13h

I'm the idiot of your dreams

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Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩

Humor For Resistance @funnysnarkyjoke.bsky.social · 18h

Next on MTV: Pimp My Depression Blanket Fort

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Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩

Humor For Resistance @funnysnarkyjoke.bsky.social · 18h

"Yo. That's fucked up"
[me as a therapist]

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Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩

Humor For Resistance @funnysnarkyjoke.bsky.social · Jun 19

As shirts, mug, pin, sticker, magnet, or car magnet
www.etsy.com/shop/AntiTru...

a shirt with the congress building (U.S. Capitol) and then under it
Shhh. Congress is sleeping..

https://www.etsy.com/shop/AntiTrumpResistance

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Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩

BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social · 1d

a Nestea plunge into an active volcano would fix me

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Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩

Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 1d

If you cum in your dreams you cum in real life.

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Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩

gluggaveður 🕊️ @lscrapl.bsky.social · 1d

i never let the fart all the way out, bc what if i need to escape a social situation

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Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩

kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 1d

hallmark channel movie idea:

a girl working in the big city comes back to her small hometown for the holidays but leaves immediately when she realizes her family & everyone she grew up with are racist small minded pieces of shit.