Vlad the Impala
@vlad-the-impala.bsky.social
🇺🇲🇬🇧 Nevadan idiot
I was vlad.the.impala on Threads
I'm married to @foofertheimpala
(i hide things in alt texts that no one reads)
I was vlad.the.impala on Threads
I'm married to @foofertheimpala
(i hide things in alt texts that no one reads)
Pinned
Porn-bots & Incels & crypto advisors
MLM pushers with sharpened incisors
MAGA-fueled fans of Putin & Jinping
These are a few of my blockable things
Frustrated fascists with anti-trans world views
Grifting DMers & Financial Gurus
Drama filled fights & the grief that they bring...
MLM pushers with sharpened incisors
MAGA-fueled fans of Putin & Jinping
These are a few of my blockable things
Frustrated fascists with anti-trans world views
Grifting DMers & Financial Gurus
Drama filled fights & the grief that they bring...
One happy little duckling
Basks in the Summer sun
Sublime and sweetly chuckling
Could they have much more fun?
Under the sky
River nearby
Enchanting everyone
#hepstatich #acrostic
The #vssdaily #prompt for 11/30/25 was #obscure
Basks in the Summer sun
Sublime and sweetly chuckling
Could they have much more fun?
Under the sky
River nearby
Enchanting everyone
#hepstatich #acrostic
The #vssdaily #prompt for 11/30/25 was #obscure
November 30, 2025 at 1:14 AM
One happy little duckling
Basks in the Summer sun
Sublime and sweetly chuckling
Could they have much more fun?
Under the sky
River nearby
Enchanting everyone
#hepstatich #acrostic
The #vssdaily #prompt for 11/30/25 was #obscure
Basks in the Summer sun
Sublime and sweetly chuckling
Could they have much more fun?
Under the sky
River nearby
Enchanting everyone
#hepstatich #acrostic
The #vssdaily #prompt for 11/30/25 was #obscure
Reposted by Vlad the Impala
Man Who Thought Fleetwood Mac’s ‘The Chain’ Was Over In For Thrill Of His Fucking Life
Man Who Thought Fleetwood Mac’s ‘The Chain’ Was Over In For Thrill Of His Fucking Life
BOSTON—Prematurely assuming he had reached the end of the 1977 rock masterpiece, local man Peter Verran, who thought Fleetwood Mac’s “The Chain” was over, was reportedly in for the thrill of his fucki...
theonion.com
November 29, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Man Who Thought Fleetwood Mac’s ‘The Chain’ Was Over In For Thrill Of His Fucking Life
Reposted by Vlad the Impala
Tourist Trap - Adamsonmedia.com
Making memories with Fanny and Flossie.
adamsonmedia.com
November 29, 2025 at 3:07 PM
Reposted by Vlad the Impala
If I were a drug addict, while that would be bad, I imagine I would have amazing stories about great danger and intrigue.
But, I am a food addict and there isn't one fascinating story beginning with, "It was 3 a.m. and I had just polished off a party size bag of Cool Ranch Doritos by myself..."
But, I am a food addict and there isn't one fascinating story beginning with, "It was 3 a.m. and I had just polished off a party size bag of Cool Ranch Doritos by myself..."
November 15, 2025 at 12:28 AM
If I were a drug addict, while that would be bad, I imagine I would have amazing stories about great danger and intrigue.
But, I am a food addict and there isn't one fascinating story beginning with, "It was 3 a.m. and I had just polished off a party size bag of Cool Ranch Doritos by myself..."
But, I am a food addict and there isn't one fascinating story beginning with, "It was 3 a.m. and I had just polished off a party size bag of Cool Ranch Doritos by myself..."
Reposted by Vlad the Impala
On this Thanksgiving, I send appreciation and wishes for a beautiful day to all the wonderful people whose paths I cross and various kindnesses I receive, online and in the flesh. I hope you have a safe and warm day with a loveliness of your own to reflect upon and cherish, tenfold.
November 27, 2025 at 6:16 PM
On this Thanksgiving, I send appreciation and wishes for a beautiful day to all the wonderful people whose paths I cross and various kindnesses I receive, online and in the flesh. I hope you have a safe and warm day with a loveliness of your own to reflect upon and cherish, tenfold.
The nothing man is such a jerk
He halts the progress, stops the work
He has no heart so cannot care
He does less harm if he's not there
The nothing man's most heinous crime
Is wasting all this precious time
He lies and lies throughout the day
The nothing man should go away
He halts the progress, stops the work
He has no heart so cannot care
He does less harm if he's not there
The nothing man's most heinous crime
Is wasting all this precious time
He lies and lies throughout the day
The nothing man should go away
‘In Triage Every Day’: A Beleaguered Speaker Says He’s Overwhelmed www.nytimes.com/2025/11/26/u...
Then quit
Then quit
‘In Triage Every Day’: A Beleaguered Speaker Says He’s Overwhelmed
www.nytimes.com
November 27, 2025 at 6:01 AM
The nothing man is such a jerk
He halts the progress, stops the work
He has no heart so cannot care
He does less harm if he's not there
The nothing man's most heinous crime
Is wasting all this precious time
He lies and lies throughout the day
The nothing man should go away
He halts the progress, stops the work
He has no heart so cannot care
He does less harm if he's not there
The nothing man's most heinous crime
Is wasting all this precious time
He lies and lies throughout the day
The nothing man should go away
He bet everything on three aces
He lost to dumb little straight
He ended up leaving a marker
He left with a belly of hate
The debt, it would have to be settled
The host was not one to refuse
The thought about leaving the city
The idea seemed to amuse
The #vssdaily #prompt for 11/25/25 was #marker
He lost to dumb little straight
He ended up leaving a marker
He left with a belly of hate
The debt, it would have to be settled
The host was not one to refuse
The thought about leaving the city
The idea seemed to amuse
The #vssdaily #prompt for 11/25/25 was #marker
November 25, 2025 at 2:17 AM
Reposted by Vlad the Impala
If you're a time traveler and just arrived in 1925, I have some breaking sports news for you.
#NFL #football
adamsonmedia.com/nfl-football...
#NFL #football
adamsonmedia.com/nfl-football...
The Galloping Ghost goes pro - Adamsonmedia.com
Red Grange decided to take the money and run.
adamsonmedia.com
November 22, 2025 at 2:32 PM
If you're a time traveler and just arrived in 1925, I have some breaking sports news for you.
#NFL #football
adamsonmedia.com/nfl-football...
#NFL #football
adamsonmedia.com/nfl-football...
Goodbye, farewell to MTG
It's been such fun to diss you
Don't really know why you must flee
But know that I won't miss you
It's been such fun to diss you
Don't really know why you must flee
But know that I won't miss you
a woman sitting at a desk with a name plate that says ms. greene
Alt: Bang Bang Bang
There goes the gavel
She's better than you
You fucking rabble
She's half as smart
But twice as mean
The Maga marvel
Margie Green
media.tenor.com
November 22, 2025 at 2:57 AM
Goodbye, farewell to MTG
It's been such fun to diss you
Don't really know why you must flee
But know that I won't miss you
It's been such fun to diss you
Don't really know why you must flee
But know that I won't miss you
Reposted by Vlad the Impala
This is Scotty. He is not chasing his own tail's shadow. If you'll notice, he actually has it cornered. 13/10 (TT: lifewithscotty)
November 18, 2025 at 11:55 PM
This is Scotty. He is not chasing his own tail's shadow. If you'll notice, he actually has it cornered. 13/10 (TT: lifewithscotty)
Reposted by Vlad the Impala
November 19, 2025 at 2:00 PM
The weekend's over far too fast
As Sunday bids adieu
How come it never seems to last
Although we want it to?
So now I settle into bed
And wish the world the best
Monday rears its ugly head
Thus ruining my rest
As Sunday bids adieu
How come it never seems to last
Although we want it to?
So now I settle into bed
And wish the world the best
Monday rears its ugly head
Thus ruining my rest
November 17, 2025 at 5:57 AM
The weekend's over far too fast
As Sunday bids adieu
How come it never seems to last
Although we want it to?
So now I settle into bed
And wish the world the best
Monday rears its ugly head
Thus ruining my rest
As Sunday bids adieu
How come it never seems to last
Although we want it to?
So now I settle into bed
And wish the world the best
Monday rears its ugly head
Thus ruining my rest
Green Card photo, such a breeze
Unless they catch your face mid-sneeze
The picture's mad, I was elated
But it made travel "complicated"
Trying to come back to this nation
Pass through US Immigration
Those guys had no sense of humor
Treated me like I'm a tumor
#vssdaily #prompt for 11/17/24 #photo
Unless they catch your face mid-sneeze
The picture's mad, I was elated
But it made travel "complicated"
Trying to come back to this nation
Pass through US Immigration
Those guys had no sense of humor
Treated me like I'm a tumor
#vssdaily #prompt for 11/17/24 #photo
November 17, 2025 at 1:52 AM
Toss my bottles: scotch and gin
In the glass recycling bin
Though they should be empty first
Fortunately I've quite the thirst
Climate change is such bad news
It turned this eco-fan to booze
But I recycle - I'm a giver
Save the planet, kill your liver
The #vssdaily #prompt for 11/16/24 was #bin
In the glass recycling bin
Though they should be empty first
Fortunately I've quite the thirst
Climate change is such bad news
It turned this eco-fan to booze
But I recycle - I'm a giver
Save the planet, kill your liver
The #vssdaily #prompt for 11/16/24 was #bin
November 16, 2025 at 3:18 AM
Some like their limericks dirty
While others want "cheeky" and "flirty"
Yet more will endeavor
For wordplay that's clever
But I can't write poems that purty
#limerick
While others want "cheeky" and "flirty"
Yet more will endeavor
For wordplay that's clever
But I can't write poems that purty
#limerick
November 15, 2025 at 8:04 PM
Some like their limericks dirty
While others want "cheeky" and "flirty"
Yet more will endeavor
For wordplay that's clever
But I can't write poems that purty
#limerick
While others want "cheeky" and "flirty"
Yet more will endeavor
For wordplay that's clever
But I can't write poems that purty
#limerick
Awoken by the dripping
Of the en suite faucet's leak
Its washer's worn and slipping
When you use it there's a squeak
I must really replace it
I sit here, annoyed and yawning
I am going to have to face it
This won't wait until the morning
The #vssdaily #prompt for 11/13/24 was #faucet
Of the en suite faucet's leak
Its washer's worn and slipping
When you use it there's a squeak
I must really replace it
I sit here, annoyed and yawning
I am going to have to face it
This won't wait until the morning
The #vssdaily #prompt for 11/13/24 was #faucet
November 13, 2025 at 2:11 AM
I felt the spirit lift me
And that feeling grew and grew
The urge began to shift me
As I danced along the pew
The stained glass sun, it moved me
With an energy not solar
And as this thing improved me
I became a holy roller
The #vssdaily #prompt for 11/11/125 was #roller
And that feeling grew and grew
The urge began to shift me
As I danced along the pew
The stained glass sun, it moved me
With an energy not solar
And as this thing improved me
I became a holy roller
The #vssdaily #prompt for 11/11/125 was #roller
two men in suits and hats are standing next to each other and one of them says i have seen the light
Alt: Jake in church with Elwood
As they want to do what's right
And, suddenly, the music hits
And Jake has seen the light
media.tenor.com
November 11, 2025 at 1:19 AM