Vlad the Impala
@vlad-the-impala.bsky.social
🇺🇲🇬🇧 Nevadan idiot
I was vlad.the.impala on Threads
I'm married to @foofertheimpala
(i hide things in alt texts that no one reads)
I was vlad.the.impala on Threads
I'm married to @foofertheimpala
(i hide things in alt texts that no one reads)
You're free, little fella!
November 29, 2025 at 11:22 PM
You're free, little fella!
"I'm finding it tricky to mention
But I fear I've been lacking attention
Bluesky has been showered
With cats and chihuahuas
Missing Shelties will just lead to tension"
Tosh 2025
But I fear I've been lacking attention
Bluesky has been showered
With cats and chihuahuas
Missing Shelties will just lead to tension"
Tosh 2025
November 29, 2025 at 11:20 PM
"I'm finding it tricky to mention
But I fear I've been lacking attention
Bluesky has been showered
With cats and chihuahuas
Missing Shelties will just lead to tension"
Tosh 2025
But I fear I've been lacking attention
Bluesky has been showered
With cats and chihuahuas
Missing Shelties will just lead to tension"
Tosh 2025
"I'm full of facts but I'd rather be full of treats."
November 29, 2025 at 3:18 PM
"I'm full of facts but I'd rather be full of treats."
Christmas on his mind
November 29, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Christmas on his mind
"The Sun is not hot enough!
You'd fix it if you cared."
You'd fix it if you cared."
November 28, 2025 at 5:54 PM
"The Sun is not hot enough!
You'd fix it if you cared."
You'd fix it if you cared."
Mornin', Gil
Happy Bane Friday!
Happy Bane Friday!
November 28, 2025 at 3:35 PM
Mornin', Gil
Happy Bane Friday!
Happy Bane Friday!
Such a handsome boy!
November 28, 2025 at 3:11 PM
Such a handsome boy!
Paradoxical
Restrictions boost creation
Restraints set us free
Restrictions boost creation
Restraints set us free
November 27, 2025 at 4:06 PM
Paradoxical
Restrictions boost creation
Restraints set us free
Restrictions boost creation
Restraints set us free
Each fourth Thursday of November
Is the day we call Stevestaking
Celebrate the great chihuahua
Shower him with lovely presents
Pile the food upon the table
Bar the cats and shun the Sheltie
Steve will eat until he's bursting
This will be a fine Stevestaking
(Apologies to Longfellow)
Is the day we call Stevestaking
Celebrate the great chihuahua
Shower him with lovely presents
Pile the food upon the table
Bar the cats and shun the Sheltie
Steve will eat until he's bursting
This will be a fine Stevestaking
(Apologies to Longfellow)
November 27, 2025 at 3:39 PM
Each fourth Thursday of November
Is the day we call Stevestaking
Celebrate the great chihuahua
Shower him with lovely presents
Pile the food upon the table
Bar the cats and shun the Sheltie
Steve will eat until he's bursting
This will be a fine Stevestaking
(Apologies to Longfellow)
Is the day we call Stevestaking
Celebrate the great chihuahua
Shower him with lovely presents
Pile the food upon the table
Bar the cats and shun the Sheltie
Steve will eat until he's bursting
This will be a fine Stevestaking
(Apologies to Longfellow)
Yes
I like that
The yellow really pops
I like that
The yellow really pops
November 26, 2025 at 8:24 PM
Yes
I like that
The yellow really pops
I like that
The yellow really pops
"Get thee behind me!" He rasped…
November 26, 2025 at 6:06 PM
"Get thee behind me!" He rasped…
"A metric fuckton."
a man wearing a black cape and a red hat holds a book
Alt: Carnac the Magnificent holds an envelope to his head and says "Johnny Carson, David Letterman and Conan O'Brien".
Jay Leno nervously awaits the punchline
media.tenor.com
November 26, 2025 at 6:02 PM
"A metric fuckton."
Oooh, I love those blueberry fig bars!
November 26, 2025 at 2:45 PM
Oooh, I love those blueberry fig bars!
buying low and selling high
waffles is a stand up guy
work that spreadsheet, give it hell
i'm sure that waffles will excel
waffles is a stand up guy
work that spreadsheet, give it hell
i'm sure that waffles will excel
November 26, 2025 at 2:42 PM
buying low and selling high
waffles is a stand up guy
work that spreadsheet, give it hell
i'm sure that waffles will excel
waffles is a stand up guy
work that spreadsheet, give it hell
i'm sure that waffles will excel
You can be my La-Z-Boy
Reclining comfy lover
I will be your casting couch
With wipe clean vinyl covers
Reclining comfy lover
I will be your casting couch
With wipe clean vinyl covers
November 25, 2025 at 9:54 PM
You can be my La-Z-Boy
Reclining comfy lover
I will be your casting couch
With wipe clean vinyl covers
Reclining comfy lover
I will be your casting couch
With wipe clean vinyl covers
My exasperation's unbounded
The weather, it makes me feel hounded
Lightning bolts, heavy rain
To this dog, they're the same
When there's storms in the air I am grounded
The weather, it makes me feel hounded
Lightning bolts, heavy rain
To this dog, they're the same
When there's storms in the air I am grounded
November 25, 2025 at 2:49 PM
My exasperation's unbounded
The weather, it makes me feel hounded
Lightning bolts, heavy rain
To this dog, they're the same
When there's storms in the air I am grounded
The weather, it makes me feel hounded
Lightning bolts, heavy rain
To this dog, they're the same
When there's storms in the air I am grounded