Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
@tomjuniper.bsky.social
Your weird, AuDHD, trans auncle. Sometimes poems and stories, sometimes unsolicited info dumping.
I don't care if you talk about me as long as you do so using he/him or they/them pronouns.
I don't care if you talk about me as long as you do so using he/him or they/them pronouns.
*Me, suddenly wide awake and staring at the ceiling at 5 a.m.*
"The Epstein Files should be released in full, and then disseminated exclusively via the medium of Drag Queen Story Hour."
"The Epstein Files should be released in full, and then disseminated exclusively via the medium of Drag Queen Story Hour."
November 20, 2025 at 9:36 AM
*Me, suddenly wide awake and staring at the ceiling at 5 a.m.*
"The Epstein Files should be released in full, and then disseminated exclusively via the medium of Drag Queen Story Hour."
"The Epstein Files should be released in full, and then disseminated exclusively via the medium of Drag Queen Story Hour."
"Existing While Trans" thread incoming.
Anyone got any experience of successfully getting DBS checked while trans?
I've been trying to get one for ages. I've previously lost work opportunities because my various name changes and gender discrepancies ground the system to a halt.
1/?
Anyone got any experience of successfully getting DBS checked while trans?
I've been trying to get one for ages. I've previously lost work opportunities because my various name changes and gender discrepancies ground the system to a halt.
1/?
November 11, 2025 at 8:52 PM
"Existing While Trans" thread incoming.
Anyone got any experience of successfully getting DBS checked while trans?
I've been trying to get one for ages. I've previously lost work opportunities because my various name changes and gender discrepancies ground the system to a halt.
1/?
Anyone got any experience of successfully getting DBS checked while trans?
I've been trying to get one for ages. I've previously lost work opportunities because my various name changes and gender discrepancies ground the system to a halt.
1/?
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
DID YOU KNOW In The Parting of the Ways (2005), The Doctor was not meant to regenerate at the end. Eccleston just did that. That's why he hasn't come back to the show. He's David Tennant now. #doctorwho #facts
November 9, 2025 at 5:30 PM
DID YOU KNOW In The Parting of the Ways (2005), The Doctor was not meant to regenerate at the end. Eccleston just did that. That's why he hasn't come back to the show. He's David Tennant now. #doctorwho #facts
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
I'm a mezze bitch who lives for shawarma.
November 8, 2025 at 2:25 PM
I'm a mezze bitch who lives for shawarma.
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
every AI ad is like
“hey gemini, what would i have for lunch?”
and then the phone is like
“sandwich”
and the guy is like
“wow”
“hey gemini, what would i have for lunch?”
and then the phone is like
“sandwich”
and the guy is like
“wow”
September 25, 2025 at 4:59 PM
every AI ad is like
“hey gemini, what would i have for lunch?”
and then the phone is like
“sandwich”
and the guy is like
“wow”
“hey gemini, what would i have for lunch?”
and then the phone is like
“sandwich”
and the guy is like
“wow”
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
Fine! It's the criticism joke. Now can all 1,300 of you followers vote for it please. I WANT £106.
One of my jokes is up for a radio station's "Best Joke of Nottingham Comedy Festival". Comment on their post with your favourite and if mine wins, I could win £106. After the year I've had I fucking deserve it.
www.facebook.com/share/p/1DPp...
www.facebook.com/share/p/1DPp...
November 1, 2025 at 10:35 PM
Fine! It's the criticism joke. Now can all 1,300 of you followers vote for it please. I WANT £106.
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
At Neon with a heavy metal DJ. I put in a request and he was stoked by it. Went to fist bump me, so I put out my amputated finger stub for him to bump. He saw it, went "OH MY GOD!", and preceded to pull out his glass eye.
Best interaction I've had this month.
Best interaction I've had this month.
November 1, 2025 at 11:07 PM
At Neon with a heavy metal DJ. I put in a request and he was stoked by it. Went to fist bump me, so I put out my amputated finger stub for him to bump. He saw it, went "OH MY GOD!", and preceded to pull out his glass eye.
Best interaction I've had this month.
Best interaction I've had this month.
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
Omg I think I’m female to malevolent
November 2, 2025 at 9:56 AM
Omg I think I’m female to malevolent
Some guy: "so you're female to male?"
Me: "more...female to meh."
New gender identity just dropped, I guess?
Me: "more...female to meh."
New gender identity just dropped, I guess?
November 2, 2025 at 12:23 AM
Some guy: "so you're female to male?"
Me: "more...female to meh."
New gender identity just dropped, I guess?
Me: "more...female to meh."
New gender identity just dropped, I guess?
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
On tonight's Question Time: Reform Candidate Alan Brick, Reform Candidate Jim Rerry-Vacist, Reform Candidate Gary Whiteman and, I dunno, for balance, a bee in a jar.
November 1, 2025 at 12:44 PM
On tonight's Question Time: Reform Candidate Alan Brick, Reform Candidate Jim Rerry-Vacist, Reform Candidate Gary Whiteman and, I dunno, for balance, a bee in a jar.
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
Is there anyone in the Green Party called Lucy and is there anyone in Reform called Tighty because I have a brilliant idea for a joke.
November 1, 2025 at 12:42 PM
Is there anyone in the Green Party called Lucy and is there anyone in Reform called Tighty because I have a brilliant idea for a joke.
It's been
1 week since you spotted me
Wiping juice off my chin
Look, I was hungry.
5 days since you yelled at me
Saying where are the plums
And why's the icebox empty?
1 week since you spotted me
Wiping juice off my chin
Look, I was hungry.
5 days since you yelled at me
Saying where are the plums
And why's the icebox empty?
November 1, 2025 at 12:23 PM
It's been
1 week since you spotted me
Wiping juice off my chin
Look, I was hungry.
5 days since you yelled at me
Saying where are the plums
And why's the icebox empty?
1 week since you spotted me
Wiping juice off my chin
Look, I was hungry.
5 days since you yelled at me
Saying where are the plums
And why's the icebox empty?
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
I cannot stress how "on tonight" this is. Nottingham, go purchase your cheaper-than-usual tickets now!
It has been one year since I had a big knee!
And it is ONE WEEK until you can hear all about it at Nottingham Comedy Festival. Use code BIGKNEE at checkout for 25% off. That's cheaper than on the door!
www.nottinghamcomedyfestival.co.uk/friz-frizzle...
And it is ONE WEEK until you can hear all about it at Nottingham Comedy Festival. Use code BIGKNEE at checkout for 25% off. That's cheaper than on the door!
www.nottinghamcomedyfestival.co.uk/friz-frizzle...
November 1, 2025 at 9:19 AM
I cannot stress how "on tonight" this is. Nottingham, go purchase your cheaper-than-usual tickets now!
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
I used to be a werewolf, but I'm alright now.
October 31, 2025 at 9:44 AM
I used to be a werewolf, but I'm alright now.
Incredibly niche, DropoutTV/Greek mythology-inspired Halloween "throuples costume"?
Us?
Surely you jest!
Us?
Surely you jest!
November 1, 2025 at 9:48 AM
Incredibly niche, DropoutTV/Greek mythology-inspired Halloween "throuples costume"?
Us?
Surely you jest!
Us?
Surely you jest!
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
It has been one year since I had a big knee!
And it is ONE WEEK until you can hear all about it at Nottingham Comedy Festival. Use code BIGKNEE at checkout for 25% off. That's cheaper than on the door!
www.nottinghamcomedyfestival.co.uk/friz-frizzle...
And it is ONE WEEK until you can hear all about it at Nottingham Comedy Festival. Use code BIGKNEE at checkout for 25% off. That's cheaper than on the door!
www.nottinghamcomedyfestival.co.uk/friz-frizzle...
October 25, 2025 at 7:45 AM
It has been one year since I had a big knee!
And it is ONE WEEK until you can hear all about it at Nottingham Comedy Festival. Use code BIGKNEE at checkout for 25% off. That's cheaper than on the door!
www.nottinghamcomedyfestival.co.uk/friz-frizzle...
And it is ONE WEEK until you can hear all about it at Nottingham Comedy Festival. Use code BIGKNEE at checkout for 25% off. That's cheaper than on the door!
www.nottinghamcomedyfestival.co.uk/friz-frizzle...
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
Update: I am pleased to report that our household is now using "Unfanny Valley" as an epithet when encountering terrible AI porn ads. 😂
October 23, 2025 at 3:57 AM
Update: I am pleased to report that our household is now using "Unfanny Valley" as an epithet when encountering terrible AI porn ads. 😂
I created a show about monsters/elves/the Fae messing with humans by disrupting train journeys.
Wanna guess how many journeys related to this project HAVEN'T been hit by cancellations, delays & disruptions?
(Hint: rhymes with "A Pigfat Hero")
This is why I set off 6 hours early, though.
Wanna guess how many journeys related to this project HAVEN'T been hit by cancellations, delays & disruptions?
(Hint: rhymes with "A Pigfat Hero")
This is why I set off 6 hours early, though.
Brighton-Adjacent Folk!
Waiting at Eldridge (my poem/story/show about mortals, monsters, & miscommunications in railway stations) comes to Brighton Horror Festival TODAY (21/10). Please come & see it!
18:30
@yellowbookbar.bsky.social
Ticket Office here:
brightonhorrorfest.com/event/waitin...
Waiting at Eldridge (my poem/story/show about mortals, monsters, & miscommunications in railway stations) comes to Brighton Horror Festival TODAY (21/10). Please come & see it!
18:30
@yellowbookbar.bsky.social
Ticket Office here:
brightonhorrorfest.com/event/waitin...
Brighton HorrorFest - Waiting At Eldridge
Waiting At Eldridge is a blend of storytelling, theatre, and poetry, where you'll encounter mortals and monsters, moving between the mundane and the magical.
brightonhorrorfest.com
October 21, 2025 at 12:55 PM
I created a show about monsters/elves/the Fae messing with humans by disrupting train journeys.
Wanna guess how many journeys related to this project HAVEN'T been hit by cancellations, delays & disruptions?
(Hint: rhymes with "A Pigfat Hero")
This is why I set off 6 hours early, though.
Wanna guess how many journeys related to this project HAVEN'T been hit by cancellations, delays & disruptions?
(Hint: rhymes with "A Pigfat Hero")
This is why I set off 6 hours early, though.
Brighton-Adjacent Folk!
Waiting at Eldridge (my poem/story/show about mortals, monsters, & miscommunications in railway stations) comes to Brighton Horror Festival TODAY (21/10). Please come & see it!
18:30
@yellowbookbar.bsky.social
Ticket Office here:
brightonhorrorfest.com/event/waitin...
Waiting at Eldridge (my poem/story/show about mortals, monsters, & miscommunications in railway stations) comes to Brighton Horror Festival TODAY (21/10). Please come & see it!
18:30
@yellowbookbar.bsky.social
Ticket Office here:
brightonhorrorfest.com/event/waitin...
Brighton HorrorFest - Waiting At Eldridge
Waiting At Eldridge is a blend of storytelling, theatre, and poetry, where you'll encounter mortals and monsters, moving between the mundane and the magical.
brightonhorrorfest.com
October 21, 2025 at 9:45 AM
Brighton-Adjacent Folk!
Waiting at Eldridge (my poem/story/show about mortals, monsters, & miscommunications in railway stations) comes to Brighton Horror Festival TODAY (21/10). Please come & see it!
18:30
@yellowbookbar.bsky.social
Ticket Office here:
brightonhorrorfest.com/event/waitin...
Waiting at Eldridge (my poem/story/show about mortals, monsters, & miscommunications in railway stations) comes to Brighton Horror Festival TODAY (21/10). Please come & see it!
18:30
@yellowbookbar.bsky.social
Ticket Office here:
brightonhorrorfest.com/event/waitin...
The stock "cubes" my girlfriend got at the new Korean food shop turn out not to be cubes at all.
I don't really get many trick or treaters where I live, but if I did...
"Hey kids, help yourselves to Fish Polos*!"
*Lifesavers if you're American.
I don't really get many trick or treaters where I live, but if I did...
"Hey kids, help yourselves to Fish Polos*!"
*Lifesavers if you're American.
October 19, 2025 at 3:10 PM
The stock "cubes" my girlfriend got at the new Korean food shop turn out not to be cubes at all.
I don't really get many trick or treaters where I live, but if I did...
"Hey kids, help yourselves to Fish Polos*!"
*Lifesavers if you're American.
I don't really get many trick or treaters where I live, but if I did...
"Hey kids, help yourselves to Fish Polos*!"
*Lifesavers if you're American.
I hate it when someone plays the last move in online Scrabble, and there's that pause before the ending screen so that I don't realise the game is over right away, because I end up pawing uselessly at my tile deck like a cat with a laser pointer.
October 19, 2025 at 11:03 AM
I hate it when someone plays the last move in online Scrabble, and there's that pause before the ending screen so that I don't realise the game is over right away, because I end up pawing uselessly at my tile deck like a cat with a laser pointer.
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
My boyfriend's pal had to have her dog shaved for a medical procedure. The before and after photos have severe Rosie Jones/Jack Dee energy, despite being the same dog. It's fascinating.
October 17, 2025 at 5:35 PM
My boyfriend's pal had to have her dog shaved for a medical procedure. The before and after photos have severe Rosie Jones/Jack Dee energy, despite being the same dog. It's fascinating.
I had *several* bowls of this.
Delightfully satisfying and tasty comfort food. It's even better the next day, when the flavours have developed and the rice has absorbed more of the liquid, making it not a million miles from a chicken soup themed congee.
Delightfully satisfying and tasty comfort food. It's even better the next day, when the flavours have developed and the rice has absorbed more of the liquid, making it not a million miles from a chicken soup themed congee.
Tonight's dinner 🍽️🍜: Canja, chicken soup from Cape Verde. I love the variation in chicken soups across the world. This one's delicious, flavorful and substantial from the rice and potatoes. Not the quickest dish, but worth taking the time to make. Recipe from: www.crumbsnatched.com/canja-de-gal...
October 12, 2025 at 2:53 PM
I had *several* bowls of this.
Delightfully satisfying and tasty comfort food. It's even better the next day, when the flavours have developed and the rice has absorbed more of the liquid, making it not a million miles from a chicken soup themed congee.
Delightfully satisfying and tasty comfort food. It's even better the next day, when the flavours have developed and the rice has absorbed more of the liquid, making it not a million miles from a chicken soup themed congee.
Encountered a particularly unsettling, (as well as generally egregious) online ad for some sort of AI porn app.
I've decided that the genre of such abominations should henceforth be called...
Unfanny Valley.
Mostly because "slop porn" is probably already in use elsewhere.
I've decided that the genre of such abominations should henceforth be called...
Unfanny Valley.
Mostly because "slop porn" is probably already in use elsewhere.
October 12, 2025 at 1:51 PM
Encountered a particularly unsettling, (as well as generally egregious) online ad for some sort of AI porn app.
I've decided that the genre of such abominations should henceforth be called...
Unfanny Valley.
Mostly because "slop porn" is probably already in use elsewhere.
I've decided that the genre of such abominations should henceforth be called...
Unfanny Valley.
Mostly because "slop porn" is probably already in use elsewhere.
Reposted by Tom Juniper🏳️⚧️
Right. No that’s true thank you
October 9, 2025 at 7:05 AM
Right. No that’s true thank you