Ted Cruz
@tedcrvz.bsky.social
Aspiring human president. You can learn all about it at Tedcruzforhumanpresident.com
Pinned
Ted Cruz
@tedcrvz.bsky.social
· Jun 25
In these trying times, I can always take solace in the fact that I am not the cowardly, war mongering, stupid, racist, empathy-lacking, grandstanding, cuckholded, grifting, bootlicking, misogynist, and hypocritical alien in human skin & zodiac killer wannabe Ted Cruz. I just run his parody account
That turkey frequented Epstein's parties.
November 25, 2025 at 5:21 PM
That turkey frequented Epstein's parties.
Hello fellow American humans! War with Venezuela is critical to National Security! And by national security, I mean my bank account.
Rep. Salazar on Venezuela: "We're about to go in ... we need to go in ... Venezuela for the American oil companies will be a field day"
November 24, 2025 at 11:42 PM
Hello fellow American humans! War with Venezuela is critical to National Security! And by national security, I mean my bank account.
Reposted by Ted Cruz
Rep. Salazar on Venezuela: "We're about to go in ... we need to go in ... Venezuela for the American oil companies will be a field day"
November 24, 2025 at 9:09 PM
Rep. Salazar on Venezuela: "We're about to go in ... we need to go in ... Venezuela for the American oil companies will be a field day"
Hey Grok, I was at this party and I wanted to give a le epic roast to this woman, so I asked you and I told her "Quiet Piggy"
November 24, 2025 at 11:18 PM
Hey Grok, I was at this party and I wanted to give a le epic roast to this woman, so I asked you and I told her "Quiet Piggy"
I have endorsed Grok for president.
Grok, roast my freaking wife🤣🤣
November 24, 2025 at 8:45 PM
I have endorsed Grok for president.
Reposted by Ted Cruz
Grok, roast my freaking wife🤣🤣
November 24, 2025 at 8:03 PM
Grok, roast my freaking wife🤣🤣
Warhammer 40K universe is looking relatively better and better by the day.
The extremely mentally ill President of the United States just posted this on his money losing garbage Truth Social app.
November 24, 2025 at 3:31 AM
Warhammer 40K universe is looking relatively better and better by the day.
Reposted by Ted Cruz
The DHS Twitter account is *not* run out of Tel Aviv; this screenshot is faked. Free Palestine and don’t spread lies
November 23, 2025 at 10:42 PM
The DHS Twitter account is *not* run out of Tel Aviv; this screenshot is faked. Free Palestine and don’t spread lies
Reposted by Ted Cruz
Bumper stickers, Toronto
!["Normalize hitting the curb"
[Picture of Ted Cruz] "This man ate my son"](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:2aebn3xk5t63net43eeepire/bafkreihak4rfiukidlsj4fukij5476zmtxo2jhvqilvozukbrrg52xrf4y@jpeg)
November 23, 2025 at 6:14 PM
Bumper stickers, Toronto
Reposted by Ted Cruz
As a Texan I appreciate the solidarity in hating Ted Cruz ✊
November 23, 2025 at 7:00 PM
As a Texan I appreciate the solidarity in hating Ted Cruz ✊
Hey Grok, the funding cuts to USAID have killed an estimated 600,000 people, most of which are infants and children. How many nukes would Elon get in COD for killing that many innocent poor people?
November 23, 2025 at 7:09 PM
Hey Grok, the funding cuts to USAID have killed an estimated 600,000 people, most of which are infants and children. How many nukes would Elon get in COD for killing that many innocent poor people?
Reposted by Ted Cruz
Reposted by Ted Cruz
Crockett on MTG resigning: "Honestly, I was like, you got to be kidding. You're on the other side of the president for one week and you can't take the heat? Imagine what it is to sit in my shoes."
November 23, 2025 at 2:17 PM
Crockett on MTG resigning: "Honestly, I was like, you got to be kidding. You're on the other side of the president for one week and you can't take the heat? Imagine what it is to sit in my shoes."
Reposted by Ted Cruz
early 2000s mathcore renaissance
November 23, 2025 at 4:22 PM
early 2000s mathcore renaissance
Reposted by Ted Cruz
Help! My President is a dick that hates people.
November 23, 2025 at 1:57 PM
Help! My President is a dick that hates people.
Reposted by Ted Cruz
the last 24 hours on X, summed up:
November 23, 2025 at 2:26 PM
the last 24 hours on X, summed up:
Reposted by Ted Cruz
Fellow Earth humans! This congressperson is to be mocked! Do not give her and Abi Loeb 380 million dollars to mis-identify comets as alien spaceships! I'm not saying that because I'm an alien tasked with conquering Earth, I'm saying that because they are Zionists.
And then she starts posting Russian propaganda every single day. What a coincidence.
November 22, 2025 at 11:33 PM
Fellow Earth humans! This congressperson is to be mocked! Do not give her and Abi Loeb 380 million dollars to mis-identify comets as alien spaceships! I'm not saying that because I'm an alien tasked with conquering Earth, I'm saying that because they are Zionists.
It's all about the Nuzzi! (Come on!) The Nuzzi! (Come on!) The Nuzzi! (Come on!)
November 22, 2025 at 6:22 PM
It's all about the Nuzzi! (Come on!) The Nuzzi! (Come on!) The Nuzzi! (Come on!)
Mamdani-san, I'm such a meany sissy-fascist uwu. I'm gonna need some universal healthcare after you socialize inside my harder than that neo-liberal bubba hyaa!
Q: Are you affirming that you think President Trump is a fascist?
MAMDANI: I've spoken about--
TRUMP: That's okay. You can just say yes. I don't mind.
MAMDANI: I've spoken about--
TRUMP: That's okay. You can just say yes. I don't mind.
November 22, 2025 at 6:16 PM
Mamdani-san, I'm such a meany sissy-fascist uwu. I'm gonna need some universal healthcare after you socialize inside my harder than that neo-liberal bubba hyaa!
The nurses felt bad that they kept kicking my ass
thanks to me there's a sign in the maternity ward that says No Wrestling Moves on the Newborns
November 22, 2025 at 6:05 AM
The nurses felt bad that they kept kicking my ass
MTG retiring a day before the 5 year anniversary of Jan 6th....Probably a coincidence.
November 22, 2025 at 5:52 AM
MTG retiring a day before the 5 year anniversary of Jan 6th....Probably a coincidence.
Reposted by Ted Cruz
Girl I'm gonna treat you like a steak and let you rest for 20 minutes
November 22, 2025 at 4:17 AM
Girl I'm gonna treat you like a steak and let you rest for 20 minutes
Two months from now, I'll see a post that says something about how much a person loves MTG. I'll won't thing to myself "red or blue?" I'll think "Red and Blue"
Because my Niv-Mizzett commander deck has enough ramp to when in 8 turns
Because my Niv-Mizzett commander deck has enough ramp to when in 8 turns
Marjorie Taylor Greene announces she is resigning from Congress
"I will be resigning from office with my last day being January 5, 2026”
"I will be resigning from office with my last day being January 5, 2026”
November 22, 2025 at 3:30 AM
Two months from now, I'll see a post that says something about how much a person loves MTG. I'll won't thing to myself "red or blue?" I'll think "Red and Blue"
Because my Niv-Mizzett commander deck has enough ramp to when in 8 turns
Because my Niv-Mizzett commander deck has enough ramp to when in 8 turns
Zohran Bubba Mamdani
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
November 22, 2025 at 3:25 AM
Zohran Bubba Mamdani