Tart Attack
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tartattack.bsky.social
Tart Attack
@tartattack.bsky.social
he/him | posting laffs and japes without thinking too much about it | movie takes zone: https://letterboxd.com/SaltLiquor/

pfp: Aert Schouman black cockatoo | banner: Walter Crane illustration of Beauty and the Beast
Reposted by Tart Attack
January 21, 2026 at 4:18 AM
every superhero universe is constantly in a state of power complexity decay - a long sizzling half-life that starts with "strong, fast, flies" and inevitably ends up generations later more like "electric fingernail whips"
January 20, 2026 at 3:08 AM
the savage Mitski mosh pit where everyone risks their life to "Mine All Mine"
January 20, 2026 at 3:04 AM
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taking a few nights off from the drudgery of domestic laziness to enjoy some much more intentional, much more deliberate laziness
January 19, 2026 at 7:42 PM
the place I went was so dense with vineyards and tasting rooms that one property had a sign "private residence NO WINERY" to keep us tourist scum at bay
January 19, 2026 at 7:07 PM
I have completed my vacation from doing nothing and friends, let me tell you, even from your own laziness it's fun to get out of town and take a break
January 19, 2026 at 6:50 PM
she had those civilization-destroying hips
January 19, 2026 at 5:45 AM
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i’m hikikomorley safer. tonight, a disturbing new finding by the national transportation safety board threatens to interrupt my kamen rider marathon
November 22, 2025 at 8:10 PM
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"we don't want people thinking Democrats are for open borders" I am! who gives a shit!!! my life has been immeasurably improved by the presence of immigrants in my community, regardless of their status, there is literally no downside there! why would I give a shit!!!!
January 17, 2026 at 10:08 PM
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January 17, 2026 at 8:52 PM
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if Britain can have King Arthur, then Mars can have David Bowie
January 18, 2026 at 3:17 AM
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as a kid I desperately wanted a cubicle because it kind of seemed like a tiny little castle that you could pin cartoons onto
January 17, 2026 at 10:23 PM
*trying to turn "Narnia" into a verb* narnying
January 17, 2026 at 5:05 AM
I have reached the end of The Staircase on Netflix and I still need someone to make a fucking diagram explaining this family with the number of moms and ex-wives
January 17, 2026 at 4:37 AM
i know no one's ever in a good mood to joke about it but, the concept of the death penalty is inherently really funny. hey guy, society has made a decision about you in particular. what? oh, that we are going to kill you
January 17, 2026 at 4:31 AM
haunted in my dreams by a Frenchman who belittles me, "I am simp-leey mair powairful than yoouuueeee"
January 17, 2026 at 4:02 AM
all my love to people doing 2000s period film who take care to get the era's ultra-shitty ringtones right ❤️
January 17, 2026 at 2:38 AM
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i just got a new job at Bluesky Inc. where my job is i'm the person who decides if your links embed successfully on Discord or not. on a good day i spend about 7.5 hours on the toilet
January 16, 2026 at 12:22 AM
Huh, weird, because actually after reading it seems like the MOST helpful frame is that WAS a hard-right project from the start, and that you were a fucking credulous imbecile for believing the free speech narrative was anything but the world's most obvious Trojan Horse
January 16, 2026 at 7:35 PM
regardless of how It actually happens, in my heart I will reimagine it Inglourious Basterds style, probably to him getting accidentally lassoed into a rodeo arena and filmed in 4K while a dozen perfect white bulls go nuts on his spine and genitals
January 16, 2026 at 5:54 AM
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Every reply guy comment is a battle with the inner beast that was lost
January 15, 2026 at 6:39 AM
hearing on the radio that they're playing "tomorrow's hits, today!" and excitedly calling my precognitive cover band to tell them we made it big
January 16, 2026 at 12:09 AM
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Art by Moebius for “Les Robinsons du Cosmos” (1970) by Francis Carsac.
January 15, 2026 at 10:49 PM
staring in the mirror and contemplating if I'm ace because I didn't think Challengers was particularly sexy
January 15, 2026 at 11:41 PM
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DICTATOR

(and alpha chun li)
August 19, 2025 at 4:58 PM