Stew
@stewnami.bsky.social
Problem solver. Idiot. Co-host of Salty Language Podcast and The Crazy Life Podcast.
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaajoi7hhr6mi
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaajoi7hhr6mi
*Scrolls past your thirst traps for pics of food you’ve made
November 24, 2025 at 6:25 AM
*Scrolls past your thirst traps for pics of food you’ve made
Let’s just sit in the quiet, and listen to the weird sounds that our bodies make
November 23, 2025 at 2:50 PM
Let’s just sit in the quiet, and listen to the weird sounds that our bodies make
*Shoots his shot*
*Kills innocent bystander*
*Kills innocent bystander*
November 22, 2025 at 4:21 PM
*Shoots his shot*
*Kills innocent bystander*
*Kills innocent bystander*
That dead look in your eyes is drawing flies
November 22, 2025 at 12:49 AM
That dead look in your eyes is drawing flies
*draws a perfect circle*
Friend: wow, that’s impressive!
Me: You have no idea, Maynard kept turning his back and standing in the corner
Friend: wow, that’s impressive!
Me: You have no idea, Maynard kept turning his back and standing in the corner
November 20, 2025 at 6:39 AM
*draws a perfect circle*
Friend: wow, that’s impressive!
Me: You have no idea, Maynard kept turning his back and standing in the corner
Friend: wow, that’s impressive!
Me: You have no idea, Maynard kept turning his back and standing in the corner
When you close the bathroom door, god opens a window
November 19, 2025 at 8:20 AM
When you close the bathroom door, god opens a window
Me: The sky is as blue as your eyes
Her: my eyes are brown…
Me: Exactly
Her: my eyes are brown…
Me: Exactly
November 18, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Me: The sky is as blue as your eyes
Her: my eyes are brown…
Me: Exactly
Her: my eyes are brown…
Me: Exactly
Sorry I put you on a pedestal, but I’m an artist, you see
November 18, 2025 at 8:41 AM
Sorry I put you on a pedestal, but I’m an artist, you see
Dinosaurs with big naturals
November 17, 2025 at 2:43 PM
Dinosaurs with big naturals
Someone that makes you feel like you’ve died AND feel alive at the same time
November 17, 2025 at 9:08 AM
Someone that makes you feel like you’ve died AND feel alive at the same time
Reposted by Stew
I think some folks are way past the the skills of 3 Christmas ghosts. Let's just give Krampus a map of D.C. and call it a day.
November 16, 2025 at 9:12 AM
I think some folks are way past the the skills of 3 Christmas ghosts. Let's just give Krampus a map of D.C. and call it a day.
You’re totally wrong for me.
You’d make me happy
You’d make me happy
November 16, 2025 at 6:09 AM
You’re totally wrong for me.
You’d make me happy
You’d make me happy
Those hips may not lie, but I wonder which other sins they’re guilty of
November 15, 2025 at 7:58 AM
Those hips may not lie, but I wonder which other sins they’re guilty of
When Bret Michaels takes requests, does he say “Pick your Poison?”
November 15, 2025 at 6:55 AM
When Bret Michaels takes requests, does he say “Pick your Poison?”
I’m not an introvert, I’m a hidden gem
November 13, 2025 at 2:03 PM
I’m not an introvert, I’m a hidden gem
A boutonniere, buts a knife under the ribs
November 11, 2025 at 9:43 AM
A boutonniere, buts a knife under the ribs
That lipstick and pink eye combo really suits you
November 10, 2025 at 3:19 PM
That lipstick and pink eye combo really suits you
*Ties you up like you were on the phone with the curly chord in the 90s
November 10, 2025 at 8:17 AM
*Ties you up like you were on the phone with the curly chord in the 90s
You can take my breath away, but please give my nose back
November 10, 2025 at 7:33 AM
You can take my breath away, but please give my nose back
*Messages someone on a dating app, just to find out where they got that pizza*
November 9, 2025 at 2:35 PM
*Messages someone on a dating app, just to find out where they got that pizza*
I’ve spent so long coloring inside the lines, I don’t even see beyond them anymore
November 9, 2025 at 6:15 AM
I’ve spent so long coloring inside the lines, I don’t even see beyond them anymore
Reposted by Stew
I can’t believe I spent 10,000 hours learning how to make the perfect spoon and then learning all I needed was a knife
November 6, 2025 at 7:52 PM
I can’t believe I spent 10,000 hours learning how to make the perfect spoon and then learning all I needed was a knife
So Predator Badlands is just them going to Australia, right?
November 4, 2025 at 7:52 AM
So Predator Badlands is just them going to Australia, right?
Sometimes, to breathe is to drown
November 3, 2025 at 2:28 PM
Sometimes, to breathe is to drown
As an insomniac, I’d trade some of my sleep for time with you
November 2, 2025 at 4:05 PM
As an insomniac, I’d trade some of my sleep for time with you