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starshark.bsky.social
Starshark
@starshark.bsky.social
960 followers 590 following 10K posts
Professional posting instructor, DM for my rates. Will debate those who will own me with facts and logic, fee is A$500, up front, in full, no refunds.
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starshark.bsky.social
Molly Cogner’s dachshund looking at a laptop screen with consternation.
November 23, 2025 at 1:42 AM
starshark.bsky.social
Hi. Silvano Ippoliti here. As a cinematographer I am OBSESSED with framing. What can the camera say with what it shows what it doesn’t show? Here I’m trying to say Richard Kiel is taking a piss.
Screencap from The Humanoid. Richard Kiel is standing in front of a doorway in a ‘piss stance’. A line on the floor which goes between his legs (look, I can’t adequately describe it, it’s perspective shit!) looks like a stream of piss.
November 23, 2025 at 12:27 AM
starshark.bsky.social
He’ll, same.
Oldish lady to younger woman: “I never again want t’hear ye ask t’go [must be signifying a regional accent, all this contraction] into ‘town’. I want ye to STOP Thinkin’ about MEN!” Younger lady: “But I can’t help being curious mother. I’ve never seen one!!”
November 19, 2025 at 8:46 PM
starshark.bsky.social
Every photo of Shapiro makes me think he doesn’t look at them before putting them out into the world.
Ben Shapiro, wearing all black with a giant watch which probably is just one of those ones you can get in Christmas crackers. Leaning against a truck and STILL shorter than the roof even though he’s wearing a cowboy hat with an insanely wide brim. I know the brim doesn’t add to your height, I’m just trying to succinctly paint a very crazy picture.
November 18, 2025 at 5:18 AM
starshark.bsky.social
I'm not surprised he hated it. He used a pedal or some shit for Man Who Sold the World. THAT'S NOT UNPLUGGED KURT! NO WONDER YOU SHOT YOURSELF! IF YOU HADN'T I WOULD'VE!
ABC Australia article head: KURT COBAIN'S MOST UNNERVING PERFORMANCE - AND WHY HE HATED IT next to a pic of him doing Nirvana Unplugged on MTV. The subhead is irrelevant but here you go because I like you so much: It was nearly a disaster, but Nirvana going acoustic for MTV ended up being one of the most iconic performances ever and cemented Kurt Cobain as a tortured genius.
November 18, 2025 at 2:14 AM
starshark.bsky.social
Hey Olivia, DM me if you’d like a lesson on how poetic metaphor is supposed to work, its purpose, etc. Rates reasonable but I’m charging you extra.
"If I swallowed every drop of water from the tower above your house," Olivia had written, "I would still thirst for you.'
November 18, 2025 at 1:11 AM
starshark.bsky.social
He learned that touching pussy makes you gay. You absorb the estrogen, you know.

And no thanks spellcheck, I will NOT be spelling it that way:
Spellcheck flagging 'estrogen' and suggesting instead that I spell it 'oestrogen' like a deranged lunatic.
November 16, 2025 at 2:30 PM
starshark.bsky.social
I was going to post the name of the movie for my sight-impaired peeps. But no-one else is naming their movies and anyway...
Graphic for that tedious movie The Snowman or w/e the heck it was called. Man with cigarette on blue blurred background evoking ice. To the left is scrawled "I GAVE YOU ALL THE CLUES" with a badly-drawn snowman beneath.
November 16, 2025 at 6:50 AM
starshark.bsky.social
This @shaunvids.bsky.social tweet can also be applied to Trump and tariffs. www.bloomberg.com/news/article...
By Shaun @shaun_vids on Twitter Nov 8 2022 (before it had irredeemably gone to shit): "musk's basic problem is that twitter was not being run by lefty sjw types surpressing free speech, it was being run by business people who were trying to make money. with the same aim he'll end up trial-and-erroring his way back to their exact policies a series of "oh, so that's why they were doing it like that" moments i mean the actual process would involve a lot more whining and pretending the new policy is different to the old policy ofc. but this in spirit getting some pushback on this tweet from musk fans claiming i'm wrong because twitter was unprofitable. au contraire! it proved to be extremely profitable for them, didn't it, when they sold it to a chump "
November 15, 2025 at 4:53 PM
starshark.bsky.social
Not cool, Bill. No rough play without consent. We all heard him use the safeword before it got to this.
Trump being dragged off to the first aid tent after some glass from his teleprompter hit his ear when that one dude tried to shoot him and managed to miss his big fat head. Not the one where he's fist-pumping. Looks much sleepier in this one, probably because Clinton just nutted in his mouth.
November 14, 2025 at 11:27 PM
starshark.bsky.social
Trump with a stupid expression on his face with his hands out. Like Bill Clinton just nutted in his mouth.
November 14, 2025 at 11:24 PM
starshark.bsky.social
Is THIS the future face of business?
Round-faced redhead Wyatt Koch unwisely highlighting his worst features with red round-rimmed glass and a loud red jacket with a shirt that Derek Guy would describe as 'fucked beyond belief'. Has a greasy sweaty sheen which is probably unrelated to the fact that he weighs 800 lbs if he's an ounce. Overall vibe: Waiting for Willy Wonka to dispose of his carcass after he fucks with one of the candy machines.
November 13, 2025 at 8:24 AM
starshark.bsky.social
BREAKING - Hegseth unveils new Department of War mascot:
Johnny.jpg. Badly drawn man holding a stein of beer, smoking a cigar, and holding five aces for some reason.
November 13, 2025 at 3:27 AM
starshark.bsky.social
I see dogs who are on the porch and think, “Aw, poor doggy - why can’t they be inside?”

And then I get a dog who scratches at the door so he can lie on the porch. Okay, I guess.
Parson’s russell terrier, fox-like with mostly white fur, sunbathing on the porch. Looks like the very ideal of contentment.
November 13, 2025 at 12:20 AM
starshark.bsky.social
Here's my fav that I'm on. I don't give a damn about genocide, I'm just in it for all the clout I'm getting.
Block list via Clearsky.app . By "theshnazzyone.bsky.social" aka ScarySpookyShnazzyone 'Doesn't acutally care about palestinians, just attention.'
November 9, 2025 at 12:52 PM
starshark.bsky.social
Salvador Dali's Sleep (1937) painting, flipped horizontally to better match Trump's photo above. It's the one with Dali's face floating in the air, attached to the ground by thin poles, stretched out. Very surreal. Which I guess you have to expect from a surrealist painter.
November 8, 2025 at 10:04 AM
starshark.bsky.social
PICK ONE, IDIOT
Kelpie (possibly kelpie x labrador or something) chocolate brown fur holding a tennis ball AND a long stick AT THE SAME TIME in his mouth. What a goof.
November 8, 2025 at 5:35 AM
starshark.bsky.social
That's why it's so funny when people call Kat Abughazaleh a carpetbagger because she lives two streets away from her district:
Illinois 9th district. Picture a hyperactive kid going apeshit on an etch-a-sketch, just spinning the wheels randomly, and you could get this district map.
November 5, 2025 at 7:02 AM
starshark.bsky.social
The song mentions KFC but I’ll be real and say I don’t 100% understand the lyrics.
Taste the biscuit Taste the goodness of the biscuit Taste the butter spread Taste the goodness of the biscuit with the butter spread Don't get your butter spread all on me I don't like it when it mixes with my mac 'n' cheese 'Cause when you're at KFC You got that special sauce to spur my curiosity
November 5, 2025 at 1:08 AM
starshark.bsky.social
Uncle Monty, the weird rapey uncle from Withnail and I, has just endorsed Andrew Cuomo.
Richard Griffiths (l) as Uncle Monty, clutching an extremely reluctant Paul McGann (r) as "I" (as in alternative pronoun for 'me'. Whole thing giving bad Pepe le Pew vibes.
November 4, 2025 at 2:32 AM
starshark.bsky.social
Donald Trump’s floating head. I’m not above the low-hanging fruit.
November 4, 2025 at 12:05 AM
starshark.bsky.social
Javier Milei - born 1970 - wearing a leather jacket and screaming into a microphone during a concert where he sang like a drunken dickhead at a karaoke bar probably to celebrate the fact that the US pissed 40 billion up the wall to bail this bonehead out.
November 2, 2025 at 6:36 PM
starshark.bsky.social
*I* KILLED KURT COBAIN!
Melissa auf der Maur in an armchair for a Rolling Stones article. Headline: MELISSA AUF DER MAUR WILL REVEAL ALL IN ‘90S ROCK MEMOIR’
October 31, 2025 at 8:11 PM
starshark.bsky.social
I saw this, so I guess I have to post.
Maggie Cheung, in a black tight-fitting outfit with black gloves, face made pale with makeup, black lipstick, hair swept back, walking along a ledge on the side of a building in the movie Irma Vep (1996) Rosie Perez in a black, low-cut top, holding a cigarette, bottle of cola in front of her, expression like she brooks no opposition in Perdita Durango aka Dance with the Devil (1997) Anna Karina, red dress, between two modern paintings on a white wall, holding scissors out sideways to the camera as if editing the film she is in, in the film Pierrot le Fou (1965) Amber Midthunder as Naru, staring defiantly at the camera, streak of dark green, almost black, warpaint across her face. From the movie Prey (2022)
October 29, 2025 at 5:52 AM
starshark.bsky.social
The magicians guild from Arrested Development posing in their ridiculous costumes while Gob Bluth holds a sign saying We Demand To Be Taken Seriously.
October 27, 2025 at 7:47 AM