Noah, Prince of Turkeys
@sophicthunder.bsky.social
I’m like if Cuzco the llama came to life. My thoughts make thunder. Proudly performing the brilliant comedy writing of @danijustmight.bsky.social
Pinned
“Noah, that’s an inside thought”
For what? The internet? That’s INSIDE my phone?
For what? The internet? That’s INSIDE my phone?
I wish that Outback Steakhouse served a salmon that was exactly Woomba, no more or less. But I have been informed that they only serve Toowoomba salmon.
November 17, 2025 at 12:49 AM
I wish that Outback Steakhouse served a salmon that was exactly Woomba, no more or less. But I have been informed that they only serve Toowoomba salmon.
In the morning: yeah, I can make <fairly complicated dish> tonight
My energy that night:
My energy that night:
November 15, 2025 at 7:10 PM
In the morning: yeah, I can make <fairly complicated dish> tonight
My energy that night:
My energy that night:
Return to office! Our company culture is never stronger than when we work together!
The culture:
The culture:
November 15, 2025 at 7:08 PM
Return to office! Our company culture is never stronger than when we work together!
The culture:
The culture:
It’s just a few bad actors! We can salvage the corporate megachurch! We just need to form a culture of goodness, where we expose and deal with abuse and police ourselves better.
The culture:
The culture:
November 15, 2025 at 7:08 PM
It’s just a few bad actors! We can salvage the corporate megachurch! We just need to form a culture of goodness, where we expose and deal with abuse and police ourselves better.
The culture:
The culture:
“Jesus, we cooked?”
The app Text With Jesus uses artificial intelligence and chatbots to offer spiritual guidance to users who are looking to connect with a higher power: on.nbc10.com/7XM8xrf
People can text with Jesus on a controversial new app. How does it work?
Artificial intelligence app Text With Jesus lets users chat with biblical figures and it is raising debate over faith and technology.
on.nbc10.com
November 14, 2025 at 10:34 PM
“Jesus, we cooked?”
*hands the wafer* The Body of Christ
*hands a potato* The body of Jack Black
*hands a potato* The body of Jack Black
November 14, 2025 at 1:25 PM
*hands the wafer* The Body of Christ
*hands a potato* The body of Jack Black
*hands a potato* The body of Jack Black
I heard New York is suffering under Shmearia law. I’m happy to show up and eat some bagels, if that helps.
November 14, 2025 at 2:10 AM
I heard New York is suffering under Shmearia law. I’m happy to show up and eat some bagels, if that helps.
Me: why is the grinch stealing Christmas?
13yo nephew, without hesitating: orphanage!
13yo nephew, without hesitating: orphanage!
November 13, 2025 at 1:06 AM
Me: why is the grinch stealing Christmas?
13yo nephew, without hesitating: orphanage!
13yo nephew, without hesitating: orphanage!
Dani designed this great pantry from IKEA and Lowe’s pieces. I built it! Wanted to share with you all!
November 11, 2025 at 10:48 PM
Dani designed this great pantry from IKEA and Lowe’s pieces. I built it! Wanted to share with you all!
Rewatched Julie and Julia last night. Stanley Tucci with his stache + slutty lil glasses combo is A+. I don’t often watch movies and rant “GET ME THIS MAN’S WARDROBE”, but…
November 11, 2025 at 3:49 PM
Rewatched Julie and Julia last night. Stanley Tucci with his stache + slutty lil glasses combo is A+. I don’t often watch movies and rant “GET ME THIS MAN’S WARDROBE”, but…
We all do, in fact, have a nemesis. I married mine. That was in our wedding vows, actually.
We’re like if Sherlock Holmes and Professor Moriarty had gotten married instead of beefing so much.
We’re like if Sherlock Holmes and Professor Moriarty had gotten married instead of beefing so much.
We all have someone for whatever reason is uniquely gifted to be our nemesis
And whether it be emotional proximity… our just good old fashioned know how
They are good at owning you
For Elon Musk… that person is Joyce Carol Oates
And whether it be emotional proximity… our just good old fashioned know how
They are good at owning you
For Elon Musk… that person is Joyce Carol Oates
November 10, 2025 at 3:07 PM
We all do, in fact, have a nemesis. I married mine. That was in our wedding vows, actually.
We’re like if Sherlock Holmes and Professor Moriarty had gotten married instead of beefing so much.
We’re like if Sherlock Holmes and Professor Moriarty had gotten married instead of beefing so much.
BREAKING: the Association of Naturalized Buccaneers is suing the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, claiming “Yon branding be only made o’ harmful stereotypes.” and “Me mates don’t always be firin’ the cannons and drinkin’ rum, that only be most weeknights and occasional weekends”.
November 9, 2025 at 6:11 PM
BREAKING: the Association of Naturalized Buccaneers is suing the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, claiming “Yon branding be only made o’ harmful stereotypes.” and “Me mates don’t always be firin’ the cannons and drinkin’ rum, that only be most weeknights and occasional weekends”.
I’m almost an HOUR into Casino Royale and
1) there is NO casino
2) there is NO royale
0 out of 5 stars.
1) there is NO casino
2) there is NO royale
0 out of 5 stars.
November 9, 2025 at 1:22 AM
I’m almost an HOUR into Casino Royale and
1) there is NO casino
2) there is NO royale
0 out of 5 stars.
1) there is NO casino
2) there is NO royale
0 out of 5 stars.
If you ask @danijustmight.bsky.social, she’ll either mention my homemade fried chicken or my grilled pizza.
At the heart of every woman she’s essentially a food… figure out the kind… figure out the order and you can live as a god forever
Get ya ears off the charger and listen:
“I don’t know what I want” doesn’t mean I’m not hungry. It means I’m about two inhales from being violently hangry & lack the executive function to navigate a menu. Know what I like to eat and FEED ME so no one gets hurt.
“I don’t know what I want” doesn’t mean I’m not hungry. It means I’m about two inhales from being violently hangry & lack the executive function to navigate a menu. Know what I like to eat and FEED ME so no one gets hurt.
November 9, 2025 at 12:48 AM
If you ask @danijustmight.bsky.social, she’ll either mention my homemade fried chicken or my grilled pizza.
Listen to Amy’s wisdoms.
A church near me set up a food and household item giveaway and advertised around the surrounding townships. The street leading to it was blocked up a mile in either direction today. One hour into the 4 allotted for the event, they ran out of groceries.
November 8, 2025 at 11:19 PM
Listen to Amy’s wisdoms.
Of the people on earth, I think I like our president 8 billionth most.
November 8, 2025 at 3:18 PM
Of the people on earth, I think I like our president 8 billionth most.
Am I a bad person for telling my church friends that “Dogma” is the spiritual successor to The Chosen?
November 8, 2025 at 2:48 PM
Am I a bad person for telling my church friends that “Dogma” is the spiritual successor to The Chosen?
John Coltrane, probably:
Can we play the Jazz every game?
November 8, 2025 at 4:21 AM
John Coltrane, probably:
I found your mom’s beer.
November 7, 2025 at 4:39 PM
I found your mom’s beer.
The flight attendant: *brings apple chips to first class*
Me: PUT ME BACK IN COACH AND BRING ME DA GORBAGE
Me: PUT ME BACK IN COACH AND BRING ME DA GORBAGE
November 7, 2025 at 4:51 AM
The flight attendant: *brings apple chips to first class*
Me: PUT ME BACK IN COACH AND BRING ME DA GORBAGE
Me: PUT ME BACK IN COACH AND BRING ME DA GORBAGE
If you’re having a bad day, this might make it better. I’m pretty sure an Arrested Development episode couldn’t write this better.
Big day at U.S. District Court in D.C. where Sean Dunn, the D.C. Sandwich Guy, is on trial for misdemeanor assault of a federal officer.
Border Patrol agent Gregory Lairmore is on the stand narrating surveillance video of the sammie toss.
'Now he’s struck me with the sandwich,' Lairmore says.
Border Patrol agent Gregory Lairmore is on the stand narrating surveillance video of the sammie toss.
'Now he’s struck me with the sandwich,' Lairmore says.
November 5, 2025 at 3:01 AM
If you’re having a bad day, this might make it better. I’m pretty sure an Arrested Development episode couldn’t write this better.
Remember, remember, etc.
November 5, 2025 at 2:39 AM
Remember, remember, etc.
I just realized Kobe was the Anchor Being of this universe. Dang.
November 4, 2025 at 2:26 AM
I just realized Kobe was the Anchor Being of this universe. Dang.
The night after the Ides of March
Julius is OFF tonight
November 4, 2025 at 2:01 AM
The night after the Ides of March