Scrabble Grams Passages
@sgpassage.bsky.social
I take the newspaper puzzle #ScrabbleGrams and, after finding the day's four top scoring words, try to construct them into an amusing passage. On Sundays I construct a passage using a week's worth of #NYTSpellingBee pangrams.
Pinned
ANXIETY hangs around my neck, not like an albatross, but like a BROOCH constantly pulsing an AMPERE of fear into my system. ANXIETY is my COPILOT.
The morning talk show guest showed how she could clean SCHMUTZ from a carpet using only a willow BRANCH, causing the whole studio audience to APPLAUD, but I was UNMOVED. "I could do that," I muttered.
November 26, 2025 at 12:54 PM
The morning talk show guest showed how she could clean SCHMUTZ from a carpet using only a willow BRANCH, causing the whole studio audience to APPLAUD, but I was UNMOVED. "I could do that," I muttered.
We hast an APIARY with a GIMMICK: everyone who so works there is a BUFFOON, forsooth. Thou COULDST not have a better time than buying our honey and watching them get stung!
November 25, 2025 at 1:05 PM
We hast an APIARY with a GIMMICK: everyone who so works there is a BUFFOON, forsooth. Thou COULDST not have a better time than buying our honey and watching them get stung!
"Do I really have to wear the PILGRIM UNIFORM in the Thanksgiving parade? It was bad enough when I was a kid, but now I'm a 34 year old author! I should be signing the FLYLEAF of my book on the authors' float."
"Best I can offer you is a GOBLET or cornucopia UNIFORM on the feast float."
"Best I can offer you is a GOBLET or cornucopia UNIFORM on the feast float."
November 24, 2025 at 2:05 PM
"Do I really have to wear the PILGRIM UNIFORM in the Thanksgiving parade? It was bad enough when I was a kid, but now I'm a 34 year old author! I should be signing the FLYLEAF of my book on the authors' float."
"Best I can offer you is a GOBLET or cornucopia UNIFORM on the feast float."
"Best I can offer you is a GOBLET or cornucopia UNIFORM on the feast float."
My GRANDPOP developed the CURVING windshield. Before that, they were more likely to develop a MICROCRACK. For his INGENUITY, he received ENNOBLEMENT. Then he got BIGHEADED and tried OUTWITTING the Queen in a game of Scrabble. Wikipedia says he tricked her out of ten quid, but that's just PROPAGANDA.
November 23, 2025 at 1:13 PM
My GRANDPOP developed the CURVING windshield. Before that, they were more likely to develop a MICROCRACK. For his INGENUITY, he received ENNOBLEMENT. Then he got BIGHEADED and tried OUTWITTING the Queen in a game of Scrabble. Wikipedia says he tricked her out of ten quid, but that's just PROPAGANDA.
"The WARLOCK And The LOCKBOX is the second in my Compounded fantasy series, after The Cleric And The Icicle."
"Your illustrator did a great job of drawing the WARLOCK zapping open a treasure chest here."
"Oh, that illustrator was UNHIRED! It's just some FANART that someone sent in."
"Your illustrator did a great job of drawing the WARLOCK zapping open a treasure chest here."
"Oh, that illustrator was UNHIRED! It's just some FANART that someone sent in."
November 22, 2025 at 12:58 PM
"The WARLOCK And The LOCKBOX is the second in my Compounded fantasy series, after The Cleric And The Icicle."
"Your illustrator did a great job of drawing the WARLOCK zapping open a treasure chest here."
"Oh, that illustrator was UNHIRED! It's just some FANART that someone sent in."
"Your illustrator did a great job of drawing the WARLOCK zapping open a treasure chest here."
"Oh, that illustrator was UNHIRED! It's just some FANART that someone sent in."
"As a child, I was inspired to become a scientist by watching the television show COSMOS. Now I spend three hours a day stuck on the BELTWAY to spend eight hours as a PIPETTE jockey," said the biochemist glumly, as he chewed on a FILBERT.
November 21, 2025 at 12:26 PM
"As a child, I was inspired to become a scientist by watching the television show COSMOS. Now I spend three hours a day stuck on the BELTWAY to spend eight hours as a PIPETTE jockey," said the biochemist glumly, as he chewed on a FILBERT.
In the backseat of a Suburban:
"BENEATH every GEYSER in this park is volcanic magma that could erupt at any moment, killing us instantly."
"You shut your PIEHOLE! Fake news!"
"You shut *your* PIEHOLE! It's FACTUAL!"
"Mom!"
"BENEATH every GEYSER in this park is volcanic magma that could erupt at any moment, killing us instantly."
"You shut your PIEHOLE! Fake news!"
"You shut *your* PIEHOLE! It's FACTUAL!"
"Mom!"
November 20, 2025 at 12:11 PM
In the backseat of a Suburban:
"BENEATH every GEYSER in this park is volcanic magma that could erupt at any moment, killing us instantly."
"You shut your PIEHOLE! Fake news!"
"You shut *your* PIEHOLE! It's FACTUAL!"
"Mom!"
"BENEATH every GEYSER in this park is volcanic magma that could erupt at any moment, killing us instantly."
"You shut your PIEHOLE! Fake news!"
"You shut *your* PIEHOLE! It's FACTUAL!"
"Mom!"
BOTANY enthusiast to his friend, the viking: as I'm ANTIWAR, I don't like it when you PILLAGE, no matter how much CORDAGE of British forest we acquire as a result.
November 19, 2025 at 1:21 PM
BOTANY enthusiast to his friend, the viking: as I'm ANTIWAR, I don't like it when you PILLAGE, no matter how much CORDAGE of British forest we acquire as a result.
Al Pacino voiceover: throughout my BOYHOOD, elected officials would bring my father a gift of a PINFISH. PHOOEY, I thought. Only later did I realize that it was because the whole town was CORRUPT, and also terrible gift pickers.
November 18, 2025 at 12:39 PM
Al Pacino voiceover: throughout my BOYHOOD, elected officials would bring my father a gift of a PINFISH. PHOOEY, I thought. Only later did I realize that it was because the whole town was CORRUPT, and also terrible gift pickers.
It was hard to catch the meaning of the seemingly HELPFUL man's words, as he spoke in FLOWERY language, entirely in the DATIVE case. Something about following him to his BOUDOIR...
November 17, 2025 at 12:52 PM
It was hard to catch the meaning of the seemingly HELPFUL man's words, as he spoke in FLOWERY language, entirely in the DATIVE case. Something about following him to his BOUDOIR...
I was having trouble making a living as a PHOTOG (most of my pics were RUBBISH), but when I sold a cute pic of the bravest PENGUIN chick I was able to afford a BILEVEL house.
November 15, 2025 at 1:04 PM
I was having trouble making a living as a PHOTOG (most of my pics were RUBBISH), but when I sold a cute pic of the bravest PENGUIN chick I was able to afford a BILEVEL house.
I'm so mad at my HUSBAND! He hired a drummer for our house to play a RIMSHOT every time he tells one of his dumb jokes. Money's tight and I asked him how he's planning to make the next PAYMENT. He just told another joke - what a COPOUT!
November 14, 2025 at 1:04 PM
I'm so mad at my HUSBAND! He hired a drummer for our house to play a RIMSHOT every time he tells one of his dumb jokes. Money's tight and I asked him how he's planning to make the next PAYMENT. He just told another joke - what a COPOUT!
I wrote a manifesto arguing for a form of ANARCHY where we all live in communes and live off of BULGAR and what we can BOWHUNT. Good thing I used a PENNAME - turns out everyone hates BULGAR!
November 13, 2025 at 12:32 PM
I wrote a manifesto arguing for a form of ANARCHY where we all live in communes and live off of BULGAR and what we can BOWHUNT. Good thing I used a PENNAME - turns out everyone hates BULGAR!
As a form of BRIBERY, I offered to show the magistrate a NIPPLE. He scoffed, "That won't work on me! I'm not FIFTEEN ANYMORE." But I noticed he squirmed a little.
November 12, 2025 at 1:03 PM
As a form of BRIBERY, I offered to show the magistrate a NIPPLE. He scoffed, "That won't work on me! I'm not FIFTEEN ANYMORE." But I noticed he squirmed a little.
I first record the sounds of nature: a gnatcatcher singing, a CATFISH wallowing in the mud at the bottom of a river, a FIGTREE growing. I then OVERDUB those with the sound of a PICKUP truck revving its engine, and I have the soundtrack for Koyaanisqatsi 2: Losing Hopi.
November 11, 2025 at 1:13 PM
I first record the sounds of nature: a gnatcatcher singing, a CATFISH wallowing in the mud at the bottom of a river, a FIGTREE growing. I then OVERDUB those with the sound of a PICKUP truck revving its engine, and I have the soundtrack for Koyaanisqatsi 2: Losing Hopi.
Grandpa accidentally brushes my phone off the counter, then crushes it with his cane, THEREBY causing the phone's case to PANCAKE and setting the LITHIUM-ion batteries on fire. Long pause. Grandpa says loudly, "Well, *that* wouldn't happen with our old ROTARY!"
November 10, 2025 at 1:20 PM
Grandpa accidentally brushes my phone off the counter, then crushes it with his cane, THEREBY causing the phone's case to PANCAKE and setting the LITHIUM-ion batteries on fire. Long pause. Grandpa says loudly, "Well, *that* wouldn't happen with our old ROTARY!"
The pilot was having fun with a FLOOZIE, a LIZARD, and 43 crickets in the COCKPIT of his Cessna, so the OUTCOME of the flight didn't look great.
November 7, 2025 at 12:48 PM
The pilot was having fun with a FLOOZIE, a LIZARD, and 43 crickets in the COCKPIT of his Cessna, so the OUTCOME of the flight didn't look great.
Here's a LITMUS test for a potential employee at an organization: is its KINGPIN truly GHASTLY or merely BRUTISH?
November 6, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Here's a LITMUS test for a potential employee at an organization: is its KINGPIN truly GHASTLY or merely BRUTISH?
Reposted by Scrabble Grams Passages
Hey it’s gift-giving season, and one thing everyone needs every years is a new calendar. Buying these directly supports my art, as, frankly, if they stop commissioning these, a major chunk of income flies out the window.
B&N link: www.barnesandnoble.com/w/2026-samur...
B&N link: www.barnesandnoble.com/w/2026-samur...
November 5, 2025 at 2:14 AM
Hey it’s gift-giving season, and one thing everyone needs every years is a new calendar. Buying these directly supports my art, as, frankly, if they stop commissioning these, a major chunk of income flies out the window.
B&N link: www.barnesandnoble.com/w/2026-samur...
B&N link: www.barnesandnoble.com/w/2026-samur...
"Spanberger is just a COPYCAT - I already celebrated my election win last year with a SKYDIVE!"
"Huh, I hadn't heard about that. ANYWAY, no need to be UNCIVIL. This just shows what a great leader you are, sir!"
"Huh, I hadn't heard about that. ANYWAY, no need to be UNCIVIL. This just shows what a great leader you are, sir!"
November 5, 2025 at 1:10 PM
"Spanberger is just a COPYCAT - I already celebrated my election win last year with a SKYDIVE!"
"Huh, I hadn't heard about that. ANYWAY, no need to be UNCIVIL. This just shows what a great leader you are, sir!"
"Huh, I hadn't heard about that. ANYWAY, no need to be UNCIVIL. This just shows what a great leader you are, sir!"
The KITSCH of your DAYWEAR is going to give me an ANGINA! Those parachute pants need a RIPCORD.
November 4, 2025 at 1:33 PM
The KITSCH of your DAYWEAR is going to give me an ANGINA! Those parachute pants need a RIPCORD.
At the bar:
"So there I was, in the battle DECAGON, with an angry BEEFALO. It charged and knocked off my hand..."
"I bet you any number of CORONAE that that never happened. Look, I can see both your hands right now!"
"... well it REGREW."
"So there I was, in the battle DECAGON, with an angry BEEFALO. It charged and knocked off my hand..."
"I bet you any number of CORONAE that that never happened. Look, I can see both your hands right now!"
"... well it REGREW."
November 3, 2025 at 3:18 PM
At the bar:
"So there I was, in the battle DECAGON, with an angry BEEFALO. It charged and knocked off my hand..."
"I bet you any number of CORONAE that that never happened. Look, I can see both your hands right now!"
"... well it REGREW."
"So there I was, in the battle DECAGON, with an angry BEEFALO. It charged and knocked off my hand..."
"I bet you any number of CORONAE that that never happened. Look, I can see both your hands right now!"
"... well it REGREW."
"My client didn't INCLUDE the ingredient in the baby FORMULA that starts infants TWITCHING. And he didn't MANHANDLE anyone, or if he did, he's like the BILLIONTH INDIVIDUAL to have done so."
"Listen to my lawyer PETTIFOG," said the accused approvingly. "Worth every penny of the $20 I paid him!"
"Listen to my lawyer PETTIFOG," said the accused approvingly. "Worth every penny of the $20 I paid him!"
November 2, 2025 at 12:28 PM
"My client didn't INCLUDE the ingredient in the baby FORMULA that starts infants TWITCHING. And he didn't MANHANDLE anyone, or if he did, he's like the BILLIONTH INDIVIDUAL to have done so."
"Listen to my lawyer PETTIFOG," said the accused approvingly. "Worth every penny of the $20 I paid him!"
"Listen to my lawyer PETTIFOG," said the accused approvingly. "Worth every penny of the $20 I paid him!"
Help! Rival toddler cliques have engaged in open WARFARE at my DAYCARE center, and a FIREBUG on one side has set my shirt ablaze. Can ANYONE save me? ANYONE?
November 1, 2025 at 12:01 PM
Help! Rival toddler cliques have engaged in open WARFARE at my DAYCARE center, and a FIREBUG on one side has set my shirt ablaze. Can ANYONE save me? ANYONE?
CEO: I don't think it's IMMORAL that our COMPANY hires only ADJUNCT staff, at a fraction of what they should be paid. More of a corporate FOIBLE!
October 31, 2025 at 3:01 PM
CEO: I don't think it's IMMORAL that our COMPANY hires only ADJUNCT staff, at a fraction of what they should be paid. More of a corporate FOIBLE!