Robert Delilah
@robertdelilah.bsky.social
Writer & Comedian. Perpetually working things out.
Why does FedEx suck so much shit??
January 20, 2026 at 1:26 AM
Why does FedEx suck so much shit??
At this point the Dodger might as well buy out the rest of the players on the league; leave nothing to chance, y’know?
January 16, 2026 at 4:50 AM
At this point the Dodger might as well buy out the rest of the players on the league; leave nothing to chance, y’know?
Reposted by Robert Delilah
the birthrate discussion I think always circles around a core reality that nobody really wants to talk about, which is that - when living in a stable society that does not rely on your family needing more children for support - most people don’t want many kids and no incentives will change that
January 14, 2026 at 5:49 AM
the birthrate discussion I think always circles around a core reality that nobody really wants to talk about, which is that - when living in a stable society that does not rely on your family needing more children for support - most people don’t want many kids and no incentives will change that
I can't post anything about how I feel tonight that wouldn't get me arrested.
January 8, 2026 at 2:12 AM
I can't post anything about how I feel tonight that wouldn't get me arrested.
Reposted by Robert Delilah
I spent an excessive number of years moderating a gaming forum and I learned a great deal about community spaces and cultivation, whether I wanted to or not. I have critical advice for anyone who runs a game store or gaming convention. Please share this thread with people who run those things.
January 6, 2026 at 8:09 PM
I spent an excessive number of years moderating a gaming forum and I learned a great deal about community spaces and cultivation, whether I wanted to or not. I have critical advice for anyone who runs a game store or gaming convention. Please share this thread with people who run those things.
Reposted by Robert Delilah
Had to explain Ea-Nasir to my therapist
December 16, 2025 at 8:52 PM
Had to explain Ea-Nasir to my therapist
I have this exact thing with people's sweaters.
My new policy of complimenting everyone’s nails—because it’s a thing they actively choose to do & feel good about and I think that deserves a nod—is going outstandingly well people are always excited to talk about their nails. Also that one teller at the credit union always has the most amazing set.
December 10, 2025 at 5:52 AM
I have this exact thing with people's sweaters.
Reposted by Robert Delilah
*whispers* stop reposting AI images you guys
December 9, 2025 at 9:43 PM
*whispers* stop reposting AI images you guys
Reposted by Robert Delilah
1960s: I need to get blind drunk so I can go look at my friend’s interminable vacation slides.
2020s: Another fine day of devoting every waking moment to photos and videos of everyone I know plus thousands of strangers which don’t impact my life in any significant way and yet I have no plan to stop
2020s: Another fine day of devoting every waking moment to photos and videos of everyone I know plus thousands of strangers which don’t impact my life in any significant way and yet I have no plan to stop
December 9, 2025 at 5:32 PM
1960s: I need to get blind drunk so I can go look at my friend’s interminable vacation slides.
2020s: Another fine day of devoting every waking moment to photos and videos of everyone I know plus thousands of strangers which don’t impact my life in any significant way and yet I have no plan to stop
2020s: Another fine day of devoting every waking moment to photos and videos of everyone I know plus thousands of strangers which don’t impact my life in any significant way and yet I have no plan to stop
I was really looking forward to getting an honest-to-goodness Collegiate Dictionary again, but of course it came damaged. It’s not a big deal, but c’mon!
November 25, 2025 at 12:08 AM
I was really looking forward to getting an honest-to-goodness Collegiate Dictionary again, but of course it came damaged. It’s not a big deal, but c’mon!
Reposted by Robert Delilah
the key to overcoming imposter syndrome lies not in understanding that you're better than this but in accepting that everyone else is worse than this
November 21, 2025 at 5:12 PM
the key to overcoming imposter syndrome lies not in understanding that you're better than this but in accepting that everyone else is worse than this
I think the most funny/not-funny fact of all is that if Epstein were still alive, we'd probably have never heard about of any of this. He'd be right there chilling in Club Fed and out in no time.
But instead, they killed the guy and people with half a brain started looking around.
But instead, they killed the guy and people with half a brain started looking around.
November 13, 2025 at 1:50 AM
I think the most funny/not-funny fact of all is that if Epstein were still alive, we'd probably have never heard about of any of this. He'd be right there chilling in Club Fed and out in no time.
But instead, they killed the guy and people with half a brain started looking around.
But instead, they killed the guy and people with half a brain started looking around.
Reposted by Robert Delilah
Call me the Edmund Fitzgerald the way twenty-nine good men lost their lives going down on me.
November 11, 2025 at 6:49 PM
Call me the Edmund Fitzgerald the way twenty-nine good men lost their lives going down on me.
It'll be actually hilarious in that completely unfunny way when SNAP benefits never return despite Dems caving on a funding deal.
November 10, 2025 at 2:16 AM
It'll be actually hilarious in that completely unfunny way when SNAP benefits never return despite Dems caving on a funding deal.
Reposted by Robert Delilah
Good things are possible and we don’t have to settle.
November 5, 2025 at 3:35 AM
Good things are possible and we don’t have to settle.
"Don't Invent the Torment Nexus!"
Baseball:
Baseball:
November 2, 2025 at 4:15 AM
"Don't Invent the Torment Nexus!"
Baseball:
Baseball:
Reposted by Robert Delilah
Over on Twitter, I bet they are also all watching the game but every time something happens someone blames it on Jewish people.
November 2, 2025 at 3:55 AM
Over on Twitter, I bet they are also all watching the game but every time something happens someone blames it on Jewish people.
Stalking Katy Perry for Canadian citizenship
November 2, 2025 at 3:33 AM
Stalking Katy Perry for Canadian citizenship
Reposted by Robert Delilah
give us 20 innings this time. make this a root canal. i'll be watching. fuck god and fuck you
November 2, 2025 at 3:21 AM
give us 20 innings this time. make this a root canal. i'll be watching. fuck god and fuck you
That the world is a great deal more terrifying than they think it is, and that that's ultimately a good thing.
📚 #WritingLifeMonthly October Day 30 📚
Are you hoping to share something with your readers beyond a good tale? Is there a deeper meaning you want to impress on them?
#writingcommunity #BookSky #BookSky💙📚 #authorchat
Are you hoping to share something with your readers beyond a good tale? Is there a deeper meaning you want to impress on them?
#writingcommunity #BookSky #BookSky💙📚 #authorchat
October 30, 2025 at 9:28 PM
That the world is a great deal more terrifying than they think it is, and that that's ultimately a good thing.
One must imagine Sisyphus absolutely caked
October 17, 2025 at 1:14 AM
One must imagine Sisyphus absolutely caked
It's gonna be crazy when Argentina economy still crashes, but now takes out the US economy with it.
October 16, 2025 at 2:56 AM
It's gonna be crazy when Argentina economy still crashes, but now takes out the US economy with it.
Reposted by Robert Delilah
My vote in the 2028 D primary for POTUS will hinge almost entirely on the % of this Administration they promise to imprison
October 15, 2025 at 12:43 AM
My vote in the 2028 D primary for POTUS will hinge almost entirely on the % of this Administration they promise to imprison