Stupid Pokemon Patch Notes
@pokemonpatches.bsky.social
The real stupid pokemon patch notes guy who did not sell his soul for the bit
Currently a dumping ground. Here in case Twitter goes kablooey
Currently a dumping ground. Here in case Twitter goes kablooey
Gliscor
- Giving Gliscor the all new Gliscorite will now allow it to transform into Mega Gliscor, a Ground/Flying type with the Poison Heal ability.
- Upon Mega Evolving, Mega Gliscor will try to eat it’s Mega Stone, poisoning Gliscor and giving it a tummy ache
- Giving Gliscor the all new Gliscorite will now allow it to transform into Mega Gliscor, a Ground/Flying type with the Poison Heal ability.
- Upon Mega Evolving, Mega Gliscor will try to eat it’s Mega Stone, poisoning Gliscor and giving it a tummy ache
October 15, 2025 at 3:39 AM
Gliscor
- Giving Gliscor the all new Gliscorite will now allow it to transform into Mega Gliscor, a Ground/Flying type with the Poison Heal ability.
- Upon Mega Evolving, Mega Gliscor will try to eat it’s Mega Stone, poisoning Gliscor and giving it a tummy ache
- Giving Gliscor the all new Gliscorite will now allow it to transform into Mega Gliscor, a Ground/Flying type with the Poison Heal ability.
- Upon Mega Evolving, Mega Gliscor will try to eat it’s Mega Stone, poisoning Gliscor and giving it a tummy ache
The sequel
October 13, 2025 at 7:22 PM
The sequel
Cubone
- You can now take away a Cubone’s skull and bone club, causing the Cubone to chase you in order to try and get them back.
- If you successfully play keep away with the Cubone for long enough, it will stop chasing you, fall to the floor, and start crying
- You can now take away a Cubone’s skull and bone club, causing the Cubone to chase you in order to try and get them back.
- If you successfully play keep away with the Cubone for long enough, it will stop chasing you, fall to the floor, and start crying
October 6, 2025 at 1:05 AM
Cubone
- You can now take away a Cubone’s skull and bone club, causing the Cubone to chase you in order to try and get them back.
- If you successfully play keep away with the Cubone for long enough, it will stop chasing you, fall to the floor, and start crying
- You can now take away a Cubone’s skull and bone club, causing the Cubone to chase you in order to try and get them back.
- If you successfully play keep away with the Cubone for long enough, it will stop chasing you, fall to the floor, and start crying
New Move
- Added a new move called “Ass Breaker”, a Physical, Fighting type spread attack that has a 100% chance to inflict the new “Broken Ass” status effect
- Added a new move called “Ass Breaker”, a Physical, Fighting type spread attack that has a 100% chance to inflict the new “Broken Ass” status effect
September 26, 2025 at 4:45 PM
New Move
- Added a new move called “Ass Breaker”, a Physical, Fighting type spread attack that has a 100% chance to inflict the new “Broken Ass” status effect
- Added a new move called “Ass Breaker”, a Physical, Fighting type spread attack that has a 100% chance to inflict the new “Broken Ass” status effect
Back home, they called me "Mr Hot Balls" because I made the meanest grilled cheese anyone's ever had.
I don't make them anymore. Not after what I saw during the war
I don't make them anymore. Not after what I saw during the war
September 20, 2025 at 7:20 PM
Back home, they called me "Mr Hot Balls" because I made the meanest grilled cheese anyone's ever had.
I don't make them anymore. Not after what I saw during the war
I don't make them anymore. Not after what I saw during the war
I think this is the best nickname I've ever come up with
September 20, 2025 at 9:13 AM
I think this is the best nickname I've ever come up with
General
- All attacks will now ignore Def and Sp. Def boosts.
Critical Hits
- To compensate for the previous change, Critical Hits will now double longer ignore Def and Sp. Def boosts
- All attacks will now ignore Def and Sp. Def boosts.
Critical Hits
- To compensate for the previous change, Critical Hits will now double longer ignore Def and Sp. Def boosts
September 17, 2025 at 7:19 PM
General
- All attacks will now ignore Def and Sp. Def boosts.
Critical Hits
- To compensate for the previous change, Critical Hits will now double longer ignore Def and Sp. Def boosts
- All attacks will now ignore Def and Sp. Def boosts.
Critical Hits
- To compensate for the previous change, Critical Hits will now double longer ignore Def and Sp. Def boosts
Reposted by Stupid Pokemon Patch Notes
🚨 The EU is trying to quietly weaken nature laws during summer break. We have 10 days to stop this.
Don't let them destroy our forests, rivers & wildlife in silence. #HandsOffNature www.wwf.eu/campaigns/it...
Don't let them destroy our forests, rivers & wildlife in silence. #HandsOffNature www.wwf.eu/campaigns/it...
#ItsOurNature
#ItsOurNature
www.wwf.eu
September 6, 2025 at 1:02 AM
🚨 The EU is trying to quietly weaken nature laws during summer break. We have 10 days to stop this.
Don't let them destroy our forests, rivers & wildlife in silence. #HandsOffNature www.wwf.eu/campaigns/it...
Don't let them destroy our forests, rivers & wildlife in silence. #HandsOffNature www.wwf.eu/campaigns/it...
Malamar
- Increased Malamar’s HP from 86 to 101.
- Increased Malamar’s Atk from 92 to 112.
New Move
- Added a new move called “Onslaught”, a 100 BP Physical Dark type attack and Malamar’s new signature move. Onslaught lowers the user’s Atk and Def by one stage
- Increased Malamar’s HP from 86 to 101.
- Increased Malamar’s Atk from 92 to 112.
New Move
- Added a new move called “Onslaught”, a 100 BP Physical Dark type attack and Malamar’s new signature move. Onslaught lowers the user’s Atk and Def by one stage
September 5, 2025 at 5:31 PM
Malamar
- Increased Malamar’s HP from 86 to 101.
- Increased Malamar’s Atk from 92 to 112.
New Move
- Added a new move called “Onslaught”, a 100 BP Physical Dark type attack and Malamar’s new signature move. Onslaught lowers the user’s Atk and Def by one stage
- Increased Malamar’s HP from 86 to 101.
- Increased Malamar’s Atk from 92 to 112.
New Move
- Added a new move called “Onslaught”, a 100 BP Physical Dark type attack and Malamar’s new signature move. Onslaught lowers the user’s Atk and Def by one stage
Reposted by Stupid Pokemon Patch Notes
Right now there's a petition in Australia to establish a law that would prevent organizations like "Collective Shout" from forming harassment campaigns. This is only for Australians to sign, but it's also encouraged for others to share the petition. #SaveSpeech
Link: www.aph.gov.au/e-petitions/...
Link: www.aph.gov.au/e-petitions/...
September 4, 2025 at 4:11 PM
Right now there's a petition in Australia to establish a law that would prevent organizations like "Collective Shout" from forming harassment campaigns. This is only for Australians to sign, but it's also encouraged for others to share the petition. #SaveSpeech
Link: www.aph.gov.au/e-petitions/...
Link: www.aph.gov.au/e-petitions/...
Reposted by Stupid Pokemon Patch Notes
After a week of rankings, the official Contrarian Council is proud to present the official September 2025 Viability Rankings!
-Yvaine
-Yvaine
September 1, 2025 at 5:35 AM
After a week of rankings, the official Contrarian Council is proud to present the official September 2025 Viability Rankings!
-Yvaine
-Yvaine
Reposted by Stupid Pokemon Patch Notes
Hey Firefox users.
August 29, 2025 at 9:15 PM
Hey Firefox users.
Reposted by Stupid Pokemon Patch Notes
The famed OM Contrarianmons is making an official comeback! We're currently in the process of updating the Viability Rankings and have plans for the first ever Contrarian Cup! Stay tuned!
-Yvaine
-Yvaine
August 28, 2025 at 8:20 PM
The famed OM Contrarianmons is making an official comeback! We're currently in the process of updating the Viability Rankings and have plans for the first ever Contrarian Cup! Stay tuned!
-Yvaine
-Yvaine
New Move: Knock Up
- Added a move called “Knock Up”, a Physical Fairy-type move with 100 BP.
- If the target of Knock Up isn’t holding an item, then the target will be given a random held item at the cost of Knock Up doing 33% less damage
- Added a move called “Knock Up”, a Physical Fairy-type move with 100 BP.
- If the target of Knock Up isn’t holding an item, then the target will be given a random held item at the cost of Knock Up doing 33% less damage
August 28, 2025 at 12:49 AM
New Move: Knock Up
- Added a move called “Knock Up”, a Physical Fairy-type move with 100 BP.
- If the target of Knock Up isn’t holding an item, then the target will be given a random held item at the cost of Knock Up doing 33% less damage
- Added a move called “Knock Up”, a Physical Fairy-type move with 100 BP.
- If the target of Knock Up isn’t holding an item, then the target will be given a random held item at the cost of Knock Up doing 33% less damage
Rock
- You can now throw any Rock type Pokémon that’s in your party at an NPC trainer in order to avoid initiating a battle, at the cost of 75% of the thrown Pokémon’s max HP
- You can now throw any Rock type Pokémon that’s in your party at an NPC trainer in order to avoid initiating a battle, at the cost of 75% of the thrown Pokémon’s max HP
August 26, 2025 at 4:34 PM
Rock
- You can now throw any Rock type Pokémon that’s in your party at an NPC trainer in order to avoid initiating a battle, at the cost of 75% of the thrown Pokémon’s max HP
- You can now throw any Rock type Pokémon that’s in your party at an NPC trainer in order to avoid initiating a battle, at the cost of 75% of the thrown Pokémon’s max HP
Today’s date is August 19, which means my annual family reunion is a week away. It also means that the traditional game of abortion soccer we play whenever the family is together is also coming up.
I fucking hate abortion soccer
I fucking hate abortion soccer
August 20, 2025 at 12:02 AM
Today’s date is August 19, which means my annual family reunion is a week away. It also means that the traditional game of abortion soccer we play whenever the family is together is also coming up.
I fucking hate abortion soccer
I fucking hate abortion soccer
The security man watching the camera footage of me eating a squirrel (it’s the 9th time this week)
August 16, 2025 at 4:23 AM
The security man watching the camera footage of me eating a squirrel (it’s the 9th time this week)
Flying
- All Flying types will now set Tailwind upon entering battle
- All Flying types will now set Tailwind upon entering battle
August 13, 2025 at 6:10 PM
Flying
- All Flying types will now set Tailwind upon entering battle
- All Flying types will now set Tailwind upon entering battle
In Obama’s voice: All my fellas
August 11, 2025 at 4:29 AM
In Obama’s voice: All my fellas
Difficulty
- Added a new, easier Difficulty option called “Hyper Offense Mode”, which changes the condition to win a battle from knocking out your opponent’s Pokémon to landing three Super Effective attacks
- Added a new, easier Difficulty option called “Hyper Offense Mode”, which changes the condition to win a battle from knocking out your opponent’s Pokémon to landing three Super Effective attacks
August 7, 2025 at 4:06 PM
Difficulty
- Added a new, easier Difficulty option called “Hyper Offense Mode”, which changes the condition to win a battle from knocking out your opponent’s Pokémon to landing three Super Effective attacks
- Added a new, easier Difficulty option called “Hyper Offense Mode”, which changes the condition to win a battle from knocking out your opponent’s Pokémon to landing three Super Effective attacks
Reposted by Stupid Pokemon Patch Notes
A reminder that Nintendo Japan's legal attack on Palworld wasn't because of any creature similarities. It's because Nintendo own the *fundemental concept* of being carried around by a creature, or summoning something by throwing an object.
Nintendo would do this in the US if they could, too.
Nintendo would do this in the US if they could, too.
Nintendo Forces Speedrunners In Japan To Apply For Permission To Play Its Games
Nintendo Forces Speedrunners In Japan To Apply For Permission To Play Its Games
RTA in Japan is working with Nintendo to individually license future usage of the company's first-party video games
kotaku.com
August 5, 2025 at 5:50 PM
A reminder that Nintendo Japan's legal attack on Palworld wasn't because of any creature similarities. It's because Nintendo own the *fundemental concept* of being carried around by a creature, or summoning something by throwing an object.
Nintendo would do this in the US if they could, too.
Nintendo would do this in the US if they could, too.
General
- There’s now a 1/400 chance for Firebreather Dick to appear durning a battle and say his signature catchphrase: “CALL A FUCKING AMBULANCE, MY BALLS ARE ON FIRE!”
- There’s now a 1/400 chance for Firebreather Dick to appear durning a battle and say his signature catchphrase: “CALL A FUCKING AMBULANCE, MY BALLS ARE ON FIRE!”
August 5, 2025 at 7:16 PM
General
- There’s now a 1/400 chance for Firebreather Dick to appear durning a battle and say his signature catchphrase: “CALL A FUCKING AMBULANCE, MY BALLS ARE ON FIRE!”
- There’s now a 1/400 chance for Firebreather Dick to appear durning a battle and say his signature catchphrase: “CALL A FUCKING AMBULANCE, MY BALLS ARE ON FIRE!”
Trick Room
- All Pokémon with a Spe stat that’s 20 or less will now automatically set Trick Room upon entering the field.
- All Pokémon with a Spe stat that’s greater than 140 will also now set Trick Room upon entering the field
- All Pokémon with a Spe stat that’s 20 or less will now automatically set Trick Room upon entering the field.
- All Pokémon with a Spe stat that’s greater than 140 will also now set Trick Room upon entering the field
August 3, 2025 at 8:17 PM
Trick Room
- All Pokémon with a Spe stat that’s 20 or less will now automatically set Trick Room upon entering the field.
- All Pokémon with a Spe stat that’s greater than 140 will also now set Trick Room upon entering the field
- All Pokémon with a Spe stat that’s 20 or less will now automatically set Trick Room upon entering the field.
- All Pokémon with a Spe stat that’s greater than 140 will also now set Trick Room upon entering the field