nordstrom "nosferatu" nostradamus
@nordstrom.bsky.social
Follows You
dog lover but not in a weird way
dog lover but not in a weird way
someone should do something about this. {{gestures broadly at everything}}
November 27, 2025 at 1:07 AM
someone should do something about this. {{gestures broadly at everything}}
i just had my very first carot card reading
November 27, 2025 at 1:04 AM
i just had my very first carot card reading
it's an npr tiny desk concert but instead it's in an abandoned blockbuster and it's just me kneeling on the floor hyperventilating for 20 minutes straight
November 27, 2025 at 12:55 AM
it's an npr tiny desk concert but instead it's in an abandoned blockbuster and it's just me kneeling on the floor hyperventilating for 20 minutes straight
i want you to produce me some produce
November 27, 2025 at 12:37 AM
i want you to produce me some produce
do you think auto zone would think it's sexy of me to get into the zone? would that be a turn on for them
November 26, 2025 at 4:44 AM
do you think auto zone would think it's sexy of me to get into the zone? would that be a turn on for them
god granted me fast charging abilities, but it involves shoving a charged fusion coil up my ass, so i usually go for the 7-8 hours of sleep instead
November 26, 2025 at 4:41 AM
god granted me fast charging abilities, but it involves shoving a charged fusion coil up my ass, so i usually go for the 7-8 hours of sleep instead
please tell me you didn't forget to bring the assortment of auxiliary percussion instruments to this meeting. i don't see a rain stick. are you seriously telling me right now, you left the mother fucking rain stick at home?
November 26, 2025 at 4:19 AM
please tell me you didn't forget to bring the assortment of auxiliary percussion instruments to this meeting. i don't see a rain stick. are you seriously telling me right now, you left the mother fucking rain stick at home?
when auto zone says to get in the zone, do you think they're talking to me? for me to like, get into the zone
November 26, 2025 at 4:10 AM
when auto zone says to get in the zone, do you think they're talking to me? for me to like, get into the zone
you love christmas time? haha yessss me too, let me show you my ᴄʜʀɪꜱᴛᴍᴀꜱ ꜱᴄᴀʀꜱ
November 26, 2025 at 2:21 AM
you love christmas time? haha yessss me too, let me show you my ᴄʜʀɪꜱᴛᴍᴀꜱ ꜱᴄᴀʀꜱ
big bang? that's funny. i've seen bigger
November 26, 2025 at 2:10 AM
big bang? that's funny. i've seen bigger
i don't care what people say about me when i die. i hope that they celebrate me for never losing a game of knife chess. unless, of course..
November 26, 2025 at 2:08 AM
i don't care what people say about me when i die. i hope that they celebrate me for never losing a game of knife chess. unless, of course..
girl your body count is my favorite angel number
November 26, 2025 at 2:02 AM
girl your body count is my favorite angel number
dear diary. i had the same dream last night. you know the one. i was in runaway jury again, this time as dustin hoffman.
"your honor, i'd like to call my next bear witness to the stand."
that's not right. again, "my next bear witness"
fuck. what is this, liar liar? that doesn't make sense either
"your honor, i'd like to call my next bear witness to the stand."
that's not right. again, "my next bear witness"
fuck. what is this, liar liar? that doesn't make sense either
November 26, 2025 at 1:17 AM
dear diary. i had the same dream last night. you know the one. i was in runaway jury again, this time as dustin hoffman.
"your honor, i'd like to call my next bear witness to the stand."
that's not right. again, "my next bear witness"
fuck. what is this, liar liar? that doesn't make sense either
"your honor, i'd like to call my next bear witness to the stand."
that's not right. again, "my next bear witness"
fuck. what is this, liar liar? that doesn't make sense either
whata-wonderful-world-wide-web weve-wove.wav
November 25, 2025 at 11:54 PM
whata-wonderful-world-wide-web weve-wove.wav
i'm not able to access my dm's on here, on the off chance that anyone has tried sending one. don't want anyone to think i'd ignore them. thanks to the ass backwards legislation my state passed, i'd have to verify my age, which i can't do because i'm a 5,000 parasitic slug from outer space
November 24, 2025 at 11:44 PM
i'm not able to access my dm's on here, on the off chance that anyone has tried sending one. don't want anyone to think i'd ignore them. thanks to the ass backwards legislation my state passed, i'd have to verify my age, which i can't do because i'm a 5,000 parasitic slug from outer space
short of breath having a full on panic attack while singing taking care of business
November 24, 2025 at 11:12 PM
short of breath having a full on panic attack while singing taking care of business
Reposted by nordstrom "nosferatu" nostradamus
1800's ship captain: This expedition will be the most dangerous undertaking and we all may well perish on the journey. We should bring a monkey with us. It will live in my room.
November 23, 2025 at 5:34 AM
1800's ship captain: This expedition will be the most dangerous undertaking and we all may well perish on the journey. We should bring a monkey with us. It will live in my room.
perfection is characterless. that's why i only brush my teeth for one minute instead of two
November 23, 2025 at 5:24 AM
perfection is characterless. that's why i only brush my teeth for one minute instead of two
show me your shame hole
November 23, 2025 at 3:31 AM
show me your shame hole
you think i'm shit for brains but your wrong. i'm sharp as a knife that doesn't hurt
November 22, 2025 at 8:52 PM
you think i'm shit for brains but your wrong. i'm sharp as a knife that doesn't hurt
all i wanna do is (dismantle illegitimate authority) and 🏦💸✨ and take their money
November 22, 2025 at 8:47 PM
all i wanna do is (dismantle illegitimate authority) and 🏦💸✨ and take their money
imagining 96,000 Different Futures in my mind
November 22, 2025 at 8:26 PM
imagining 96,000 Different Futures in my mind
5 guys? you mean me and the four horsemen of the apocalypse?
November 22, 2025 at 4:50 PM
5 guys? you mean me and the four horsemen of the apocalypse?
anything can be trebuchet ammo if you want it to be
November 21, 2025 at 5:30 AM
anything can be trebuchet ammo if you want it to be
where are all my Hell Wishers at?
November 21, 2025 at 5:21 AM
where are all my Hell Wishers at?