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nordstrom "nosferatu" nostradamus @nordstrom.bsky.social · 3h

deadass i know somewhere somehow we'll be together

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nordstrom "nosferatu" nostradamus @nordstrom.bsky.social · 4h

maybe one more would help

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Reposted by nordstrom "nosferatu" nostradamus

nordstrom "nosferatu" nostradamus @nordstrom.bsky.social · 22d

long live king julien XIII can i get an amen in here

no kings except king Julien from madagascar

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nordstrom "nosferatu" nostradamus @nordstrom.bsky.social · 4h

me: hey girl i really like your fraiser tattoo

her: uh, oh this is actually just an outline of the seattle skyli-

me: shhhhh no stop it girl i know what fraiser is

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nordstrom "nosferatu" nostradamus @nordstrom.bsky.social · 11h

oh shit they did it again. i just wish it had more Keith Buckley but that song rips

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nordstrom "nosferatu" nostradamus @nordstrom.bsky.social · 1d

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nordstrom "nosferatu" nostradamus @nordstrom.bsky.social · 1d

do you happen to have the cursed cycle?

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nordstrom "nosferatu" nostradamus @nordstrom.bsky.social · 1d

i don't know why i thought i needed to do this, but i did

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nordstrom "nosferatu" nostradamus @nordstrom.bsky.social · 2d

the gods: you're done. you don't have to push that big ass boulder up the hill anymore. your eternal punishment is over

sisyphus: that is such good news. wow. oh, do you think i could take it up one more time, a final victory lap if you will? one more trip for old time's sake?

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nordstrom "nosferatu" nostradamus @nordstrom.bsky.social · 2d

what does this even mean

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nordstrom "nosferatu" nostradamus @nordstrom.bsky.social · 2d

did i detect a tinkle of the pinkel?

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nordstrom "nosferatu" nostradamus @nordstrom.bsky.social · 2d

wife: i want to get a different phone number

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nordstrom "nosferatu" nostradamus @nordstrom.bsky.social · 3d

resource inequality

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nordstrom "nosferatu" nostradamus @nordstrom.bsky.social · 4d

i believe in staunch

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nordstrom "nosferatu" nostradamus @nordstrom.bsky.social · 4d

i am a staunch believer

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nordstrom "nosferatu" nostradamus @nordstrom.bsky.social · 4d

i will return when i have a higher level or my reputation increases within the troll community

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nordstrom "nosferatu" nostradamus @nordstrom.bsky.social · 4d

i walk through the gate and i'm immediately bludgeoned to death by a troll

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nordstrom "nosferatu" nostradamus @nordstrom.bsky.social · 4d

thank you i tried this and got a promotion immediately after

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nordstrom "nosferatu" nostradamus @nordstrom.bsky.social · 5d

i'm not upset, i just think it's funny you're all of a sudden paying attention to me, now that i'm wielding the Poster's Knife

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nordstrom "nosferatu" nostradamus @nordstrom.bsky.social · 5d

giving an obligatory hug to the cashier at the grocery store for ringing me out while trying not to get a hard on from all the money i saved from discounts

my cum socks waiting to see which one i pick

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nordstrom "nosferatu" nostradamus @nordstrom.bsky.social · 5d

sorry i didn't reply to you earlier, i was busy extending my arm out holding a skull with one hand while audibly contemplating death. but yeah i've been fine, can't complain, how have you been?

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nordstrom "nosferatu" nostradamus @nordstrom.bsky.social · 5d

body temp margarita

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nordstrom "nosferatu" nostradamus @nordstrom.bsky.social · 5d

thanks for the gold, kind stranger

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nordstrom "nosferatu" nostradamus @nordstrom.bsky.social · 5d

everyone's gonna lose their fuckin minds when they find out the leader of antifa is actually moo deng

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nordstrom "nosferatu" nostradamus @nordstrom.bsky.social · 5d

600 nanobots milking my prostate

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