i've never seen that before that was so good lol

ahh so that's what they mean when they say i hope you die eating rocks

i'm coming hold on though let me go find my tambourine

we're all one in the same. the judge, the jury, the bear tamer, who i finally recall was the guy who wouldn't shut the fuck up in the breakroom about his unresolved childhood trauma. the mannequins, john cusack... it all started making sense. we're all the same. we're the only ones in here alive

i cleared my eyes and looked at the jury. they were twelve faceless mannequins, all wearing the same "i'm with stupid" shirt, and the arrow was pointing right at me

i'm not fuckin dustin hoffman. i'm a self made nightmare. i'm a dream in a dream.

laugh tracks faded in. it finally dawned on me.

i wasn't going to stoop to their level, with their blatant witness tampering. i didn't go to law school for this shit. nonetheless, the whole bear arms personified thing was kind of impressive.

"no more questions your honor" i said, just before air horns flooded the courtroom and i got slimed

a man i vaguely recognized lead a 600lb grizzly up to the stand. he was nervous, which made sense, as this was his big break as the court animal handler.

i started my questioning, but every answer was "i'm beary confused." gene hackman started laughing menacingly. the odds were surely against me.

ℹ️ going somewhere??

no you're not ⚠️

click 🆗 to continue

ok but wowie zowie though, are we sure that's off the table?