Bill Mann
@newsmann9.bsky.social
humorist, newspaper critic,columnist, Canada and Québec fan
Reposted by Bill Mann
Kristi Noem Calls On Minneapolis Residents To Stop Obstructing Murders
Kristi Noem Calls On Minneapolis Residents To Stop Obstructing Murders
WASHINGTON—Urging locals to “fully cooperate” with federal agents, Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem called on Minneapolis residents Monday to stop obstructing murders. “The brave ...
theonion.com
January 31, 2026 at 5:00 PM
Kristi Noem Calls On Minneapolis Residents To Stop Obstructing Murders
Reposted by Bill Mann
Jimmy Kimmel offers to let Trump have one of his trophies if he will pull ICE out of Minneapolis.
January 16, 2026 at 1:12 PM
Jimmy Kimmel offers to let Trump have one of his trophies if he will pull ICE out of Minneapolis.
Reposted by Bill Mann
Real Estate: Really Hot Mailman
January 15, 2026 at 12:00 AM
Real Estate: Really Hot Mailman
Reposted by Bill Mann
Sen. Thom Tillis (R-NC), to Bloomberg TV:
“If there is military action against #Greenland, I will be one of the first people to file and co-sponsor a War Powers Resolution. It will pass.”
“If there is military action against #Greenland, I will be one of the first people to file and co-sponsor a War Powers Resolution. It will pass.”
January 15, 2026 at 12:38 AM
Sen. Thom Tillis (R-NC), to Bloomberg TV:
“If there is military action against #Greenland, I will be one of the first people to file and co-sponsor a War Powers Resolution. It will pass.”
“If there is military action against #Greenland, I will be one of the first people to file and co-sponsor a War Powers Resolution. It will pass.”
Reposted by Bill Mann
Jealous Trump Throws Own State Funeral To Upstage Carter’s https://theonion.com/jealous-trump-throws-own-state-funeral-to-upstage-carters/
December 24, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Jealous Trump Throws Own State Funeral To Upstage Carter’s https://theonion.com/jealous-trump-throws-own-state-funeral-to-upstage-carters/
Reposted by Bill Mann
Relatives Gather From Across The Country To Stare Into Screens Together https://theonion.com/relatives-gather-from-across-the-country-to-stare-into-1819575960/
December 24, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Relatives Gather From Across The Country To Stare Into Screens Together https://theonion.com/relatives-gather-from-across-the-country-to-stare-into-1819575960/
Taylor Swift owns the world’s most ridiculous dress.
December 12, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Taylor Swift owns the world’s most ridiculous dress.
Reposted by Bill Mann
When someone says, “Quiet, piggy,” the appropriate response is, “Shut up, child rapist.” #ettiquette
November 18, 2025 at 8:53 PM
When someone says, “Quiet, piggy,” the appropriate response is, “Shut up, child rapist.” #ettiquette
Reposted by Bill Mann
Trump Counting on his Supporters Being Incapable of Reading Epstein Files
November 15, 2025 at 1:22 AM
Trump Counting on his Supporters Being Incapable of Reading Epstein Files
Reposted by Bill Mann
Scientists Confirm Aurora Borealis Will Be Visible On Google Images Tonight https://theonion.com/scientists-confirm-aurora-borealis-will-be-visible-on-google-images-tonight/
November 13, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Scientists Confirm Aurora Borealis Will Be Visible On Google Images Tonight https://theonion.com/scientists-confirm-aurora-borealis-will-be-visible-on-google-images-tonight/
Reposted by Bill Mann
Hungover Egyptologist Just Gonna Call In Cursed Today
Hungover Egyptologist Just Gonna Call In Cursed Today
CAIRO—Admitting he was unable to face a lengthy session of indexing artifacts after drinking too much the night before, hungover Egyptologist Henry Chapman confirmed Tuesday he was just gonna call in ...
theonion.com
November 10, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Hungover Egyptologist Just Gonna Call In Cursed Today
Reposted by Bill Mann
Trump Says He Won’t Rule Out Third Reich
October 27, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Trump Says He Won’t Rule Out Third Reich
Reposted by Bill Mann
Trump Accused Of Using Makeup To Conceal Ventilator
October 28, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Trump Accused Of Using Makeup To Conceal Ventilator
Jamaica needs a REAL blowhard— a fat guy throwing paper towels
October 28, 2025 at 5:25 PM
Jamaica needs a REAL blowhard— a fat guy throwing paper towels
Reposted by Bill Mann
Carrying on a family tradition of wanton desecration.
Donald Trump, Demolition Man
Carrying on a family tradition of wanton desecration.
www.borowitzreport.com
October 22, 2025 at 5:17 PM
Carrying on a family tradition of wanton desecration.
Reposted by Bill Mann
If Obama had done this the Fox headline would be OBAMA DEMOLISHES WHITE HOUSE TO BUILD MOSQUE
October 23, 2025 at 3:15 PM
If Obama had done this the Fox headline would be OBAMA DEMOLISHES WHITE HOUSE TO BUILD MOSQUE
Reposted by Bill Mann
“A deal’s a deal,” the billionaire said sadly.
George Soros Declares Bankruptcy After Paying No Kings Protesters
"A deal's a deal," the billionaire said sadly.
www.borowitzreport.com
October 20, 2025 at 3:13 PM
“A deal’s a deal,” the billionaire said sadly.
Reposted by Bill Mann
French authorities won’t charge Louvre thieves on grounds the crime was really cool
French authorities won’t charge Louvre thieves on grounds the crime was really cool
PARIS - Following a brazen daylight heist of the French crown jewels from the Louvre, French authorities have declared no charges will be laid, citing the country’s “Trop Cool Pour Être Un Crime” (“To...
www.thebeaverton.com
October 20, 2025 at 5:12 PM
French authorities won’t charge Louvre thieves on grounds the crime was really cool
Reposted by Bill Mann
Bored National Guard Goes Door To Door Asking If Chicagoans Have Any Order They Need Restored https://theonion.com/bored-national-guard-goes-door-to-door-asking-if-chicagoans-have-any-order-they-need-restored/
October 9, 2025 at 5:05 PM
Bored National Guard Goes Door To Door Asking If Chicagoans Have Any Order They Need Restored https://theonion.com/bored-national-guard-goes-door-to-door-asking-if-chicagoans-have-any-order-they-need-restored/
Reposted by Bill Mann
U.S. Forest Service Kills Off Smokey Bear To Get People Serious About Fire Safety
October 2, 2025 at 5:01 PM
U.S. Forest Service Kills Off Smokey Bear To Get People Serious About Fire Safety
Reposted by Bill Mann
This could be Trump’s biggest shutdown since he drove his casinos into bankruptcy
October 3, 2025 at 4:41 PM
This could be Trump’s biggest shutdown since he drove his casinos into bankruptcy
Reposted by Bill Mann
Trump has not been seen in public since Tuesday, and while that is a cause for celebration, we must prepare ourselves emotionally for the possibility that we may someday see him again
October 4, 2025 at 1:47 AM
Trump has not been seen in public since Tuesday, and while that is a cause for celebration, we must prepare ourselves emotionally for the possibility that we may someday see him again
Reposted by Bill Mann
Not sure that the military needs lectures from a makeup-wearing TV host and a senile draft-dodger
September 30, 2025 at 5:59 PM
Not sure that the military needs lectures from a makeup-wearing TV host and a senile draft-dodger
Reposted by Bill Mann
RFK Jr. Warns Mistress That Condoms Cause Autism https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-warns-mistress-that-condoms-cause-autism/
September 22, 2025 at 6:48 PM
RFK Jr. Warns Mistress That Condoms Cause Autism https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-warns-mistress-that-condoms-cause-autism/
Reposted by Bill Mann
Returning Jesus Christ Downed By U.S. Missile Defense 30,000 Feet Before Making Landfall
September 23, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Returning Jesus Christ Downed By U.S. Missile Defense 30,000 Feet Before Making Landfall